Need to let off steam 😤

Does anyone have that one person who has to comment “well you wanted a baby” if you have a little moan?!

A few times now I’ve said something along the lines of “Florence hasn’t been sleeping well” or in today’s case “Florence keeps going on that she’s hungry every 5 mins” and I get the response from my sister every time “well you wanted a baby”

I mean just because of how she was conceived I feel like I can’t even have a little moan (in today’s case and in most cases it wasn’t even a moan it was just stating a fact). It makes me feel like an awful mum.

I try and not let it annoy me as my sister is very immature for her age I.e. can’t stick at a job, moves home all the time, changes cars at the drop of a hat and is in masses of debt but she really knows how to push my buttons.

I am forever grateful but parenting can be a bit difficult at times. I find it is quite hard at the moment being stuck indoors and not having a garden doesn’t help but I wouldn’t ever change it for the world.

Sorry for the rant xx

[Lynnr54]

I totally understand. Parenting is HARD! Just because we are having a challenging day doesn’t mean that we aren’t forever grateful for our little bundles of trouble! There are days I could cheerfully strangle my 4 year old but he still means the world to me and I wouldn’t swap him for anything! Maybe it’s just the attitude of your sister generally and she would say that irrespective of whether you had struggled to conceive or not? I think it just grates a bit more on us because we are conscious that we should be super grateful for what we have.

[Hidden in reply to Lynnr54]

Thank you. I’m glad someone understands. I think it’s probably how my sister is. If she ever had children I know she would constantly moan about that as she can’t even cope with her own life.

I always feel very guilty if I’m having a hard day that I shouldn’t feel like that and then comments like that don’t help xx

[Hidden in reply to Lynnr54]

You can be thankful but you are entitled to feel fed up now and again!

[MissSaoPaulo]

I haven't had this but I know it would wind me up.

Especially when you've had IVF you can feel like you don't have the right to complain about a tough pregnancy or about struggling some days with parenting and we shouldn't feel like that. It can be the most wanted and longed for baby in the world, but it'd still be nice to sleep a bit more!!

I guess it's like you said - your sister is just pushing your buttons. I'm sure you could do the same back to her if you wanted!! Keep your chin up xxx

[Hidden in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Thank you. I feel more annoyed about the fact that I wasn’t actually really moaning just saying I can’t believe how much Florence is eating (which is A LOT 🤣).

Me and my sister couldn’t be any more different so it’s not hard for her to annoy me 😂 xx

[MissSaoPaulo in reply to Hidden]

I've just realized I do this to my husband 😟 He gets really stressed out if the baby won't stop crying and I'm like: babies cry, this is what you signed up for!!

[Hidden in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Ha ha I think it’s ok when it’s between partners as you both get it but outsiders especially people without children is different x

[Hidden]

I get this ALOT from my parents! Boy, does it wind me up! Stanley is at the age where he keeps touching things and I was saying " Stanley for the millionth time don't keep touching that"... The oven, TV, electric sockets etc. I got told to stop moaning at him as he is a baby and I wanted one!

I never, ever say I'm not grateful for him being in my life but somedays he is a right handful and we shouldn't be made to feel bad for having the odd moan. xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh wow that’s annoying but glad it’s not just me dealing with it.

I also get “well that’s what it’s like having kids” when I was saying Florence had a sickness bug and having to clean up sick all day. I didn’t ever say anything different but it was general chit chat conversation x

[Hidden]

Its not the point that you wanted a baby parenting is hard for everyone who undertakes it and its better to talk about struggles than keeping them to yourself.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I’ll be reminding her of this when/if she has children because she is the most moany person I know 😂 x

[Winter_Girl]

Ha! When my daughter was newborn I struggled so much with BF as well as the sleep deprivation. I felt broken. I spoke to my dad on the phone and told him I was struggling and he said "remember this is what you wanted". 😱 I know he didn't mean it horribly but it isn't what I needed to hear.

I wanted a baby, but my goodness it was hard. Still is! I'm not ashamed to say that I had fleeting moments where I thought "what have I done?!"

I love my daughter so much and for every bad day, there are 100 good days. But it is ok to moan a bit, admit that it is hard and, like the above poster said, it is better to talk about the struggles, but maybe to people who "get it".

I definitely underestimated how hard it would be at times even though I (thought I) had totally realistic expectations of parenthood. I come from a huge family, always around kids and have tonnes of experience with them, but nothing can ever prepare you for it.

[Hidden in reply to Winter_Girl]

That’s something my dad would say too and definitely not helpful but I don’t think he would mean any harm either.

My LG has always been pretty laid back. It’s only since she’s hit the toddler stage she’s becoming more of a person and it can be quite hard. I was just more annoyed that it wasn’t really a moan more of a “I can’t believe she can eat so much lol”.

If she says it again I’ll be saying something. I’ll also be reminding her about this if she has children xx

[LunaLovegood11]

I don’t have that (yet, as still pregnant!) but it would annoy me!! Xx

[Hidden in reply to LunaLovegood11]

Glad it’s not just me xx

[Dreamingofbaby]

This would def annoy me too. Think until you have children you can’t appreciate the challenges that one can face. Love my new lil daughter but she is a newborn and blimey it can be hard at times with lack of sleep etc. Doesn’t mean I do not 100% appreciate and v much want her though. We all understand hun. X

[Hidden in reply to Dreamingofbaby]

Thank you x

[romaluna2015]

I totally understand where your coming from. I love my girls to bits but they are challenging sometimes. Your allowed to feel a little low with parenting no matter how you conceived your child(ren) x

[Hidden in reply to romaluna2015]

Thank you x