In Amelias name I have set up a petition to change the law- after you loss a baby after 20 weeks you have to birth that dead baby therefore it is a still birth and not a late miscarriage.
Please do not think im undermining any pregnancy loss, a loss is a loss & it’s relevant. No parent should ever lose their baby. 😭 Xx
Hi lovely, I've thought about this one a lot and used to think its crazy how they don't call late miscarriages still births then i realized the reason why, is because a baby wouldn't survive if they were born before 24 weeks. They have a chance of survival at 24 weeks very slim chance at 22 but before that there's no chance. I completely agree a loss is a loss at 6 weeks or at 20 weeks. Its so hard i know i questioned it a lot for my god cousin who had a late miscarriage, i was with her when she had to birth her Ameerah 😭 it really is hard i was really upset and didn't understand, now I understand the reasons behind it , maybe they could call it " early still loss" im not sure. Thinking of you my love 💗 😘
It is tough issue- I think a women who has birthed a dead baby deserves better recognition for her loss. Perhaps “early still born” would be better. I think the physical side of this loss has been much harder than my first early loss-,carrying a dead baby , birthing of the dead baby, post birth complications & my milk has come in.
Although I agree a loss is a loss & it’s still the loss of a future you thought you’d have with that baby. Totally devastating. It’s so crappy any women goes through this makes me so sad. My best friend was telling me of her mums 2 losses- one early & one like mine later with a blood transfusion too. My best friend told me she suffered a miscarriage before she conceived her next baby & how devastated she was her loss changed her take on life. Her other friend has just lost 2 twin boys at 16 weeks. So awful. It’s the future the miscarriage steals from you. It seems too common😭 I’m sorry for your cousin it really is the worst feeling ever hope she has support & can have another baby I know it doesn’t replace the other child nothing will, I’ve got some bleeding which I’m hoping is my period , hubby said to use ovulation tests to see what is what. The emotional side is the hardest to recover from- I feel so guilty for wanting another baby like I’m betraying Amelia - my family say not to be so silly because we tried for Amelia with the want for another child & that is ok. The guilt of not being able to save her is horrible I would have done anything. It’s just very hard people tell me it will get better in time. Thank goodness for Francesca she is keeping us going. Xx
Definitely the physical side of things is, way much harder, 3 of my losses were 6 weeks and 3 were from 11 to 12.5 weeks the 12.5 weeks i caught i could feel it coming. That affected me for such a long time. Your physical part is so much more i completely understand why you feel the way you do. I do agree women that have had to go through what you have deserve more recognition, in the legal system. You have to remember that it doesn't mean Amelia is any less of a memory, she was too good for this world that's what i tell myself regards any loss I've had. There's too much heartbreak and hurt that goes on on this planet!! Your going through all the feelings of a mother your not betraying Amelia in anyway. It will get better you'll never get over it but you'll learn to cope with the loss of your Princess. Its so sad these things happen in life to test us and hurt us, its just the cruel way of life and its so heartbreaking that it really is a lot more common than you'd initially think!! Sorry for your friends loss and her friends twins is so heartbreaking!! My God cousins was 15 years ago at the hands of her volatile partner, thankfully she's away from him and has lovely little boy now through sperm doner! You will get through this Jess time will help, i hope the system does do something to recognize this heartbreaking situation that so many families go through!! Sending you lots of love 💗😘
Set up another one on the gov petition website as they have to respond to it, they can get away with not acknowledging petitions on change.org, but if it gets so many responses on the GOV site they have to respond or debate it in Parliament xx
Thank you I might consider that - only got 5 signatures & I’ve shared with so many friends. A bit disappointed others are not so bothered by it 😕 You don’t need to go through something to understand it’s difficult Xx
I’ve given it a sign, sorry, I was heading out earlier and your reply just reminded me, fingers crossed it picks up xx
It wasn’t a go at you my bloody friends. Im disappointed in them- known them for many years. Maybe they’ll sign later Xx
Oh no, I was just letting you know I have! I’ve got the memory of a sieve at the best of times, in no way did I think you were having a pop at me, signing a petition is such a small thing I can do to try and help little Amelia and your family make a difference! I know someone who was personally effected by this and her son was born sleeping 48 hours before he would’ve got a death certificate and that shattered her, its such a stupid rule! Fingers crossed your friends pull their fingers out their arses and do the same xx
Oh my goodness that’s so awful. I am so sorry for your friends loss that is so heartbreaking. It is a stupid law- if you have to birth a dead baby then it is a still born. Before 20 weeks you can opt for D & C but after 20 weeks you have to birth the baby so it isn’t a late loss it’s a still born & they deserve a death certificate. 😥 Xx
Signed. Totally agree if you have to birth your baby it is a stillborn and you should most definitely get a death certificate. I hope you can change it. Xx
Hi Jess. I completely agree with this. I'm not 100% sure on the 20 week cut-off (and if it needs to be even earlier!), but it definitely needs to be earlier than 24 weeks. There is no recognition at all earlier than 24 weeks. Not even to have time off work to grieve or anything. Maternity leave rights should also be conferred earlier than 24 weeks as you were pregnant, birthed a baby, and need time to recover. Signed.
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