I joined the fertility forum in 2017 TTC our second child, thankfully after 3 miscarriages he arrived safely but i experienced a really traumatic time that affected us ( me hubby and daughter) quite bad 3 major surgeries in 9 weeks multiple infections and hospital stays for up to a year after having him. I went into deep depression. I was suffering really bad in my lady area with it cutting getting fissures itching sore had so many tests even a biopsy nothing found only to be told 18 months later its thrush n bv 😣 so was put on a long course (6 months) to try get rid of it for good. Thankfully its gone!
We didn't want any more children after the ordeal we had after having Azaan but i couldn't go on my usual contraception, due to them finding out i had a clotting disorder when TTC Azaan so could only go on progesterone which i tried several times it turned me into a witch! So i asked to be sterelized (huge decision but we were sure we're done) gynae wouldn't coz of my adhesions scared they'd nip my bowel!! Can't get the coil coz of previous complications with it!
So just had to be very careful and haven't been very sexually active due to the problems in lady area anyway. One day when things had cleared up we DTD and ordered morning after pill instead of it going to my local chemist it mistakenly came via the post (i get regular meds through the post) so missed the pill. Then found out I'm pregnant, stressed didn't even come into it! But i know i have quite a high rate of miscarriage so thought what will be will be we don't get burdened with more than we can handle. Its in gods hands. It's took me ages to be able to come to terms with this and I'm getting them worries is everything OK is it going to be OK I've held of going for an early scan and my dating scan is in 2 weeks. I'm anxious nervous I'm full of mixed emotions I'm currently really ill with a bad cough cold and headaches I've done a covid test waiting on results. Sickness has been a headache too.
Im feeling really different emotions kinda of fraud that im here posting Diane said to come here coz it'll fill any gaps NCT has plus lots of you from fertility are here. I don't know what im looking for support in a sense to speak with others about my worries and if i get that far the worries of having a baby after such a traumatic time after birth.
I hope this post doesn't upset anyone.
Thanks for reading
😘💗
Written by
AllWeNeedIsluv
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Hey it's so nice to see you posting, it's been forever! I'm really sorry to hear about everything you have been through this past couple of years! Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy and for your recent bfp!! It sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment. Are you getting the support you need from the medical staff? Sending you big hugs xx
Thanks so much hun. Yes the midwives drs and renal team are fully onit, they don't see face to face till 28 weeks due to covid, but I'm an exception, obviously I'm high risk and under consultant led care! Which is reassuring. Just anxiety starting to hit me now quite bad!!
How are you doing lovely, I'm so sorry for my distance. Where are you at in your journey? 😘💗
I'm well thank you and no need to apologise my love. It sounds like you've had a lot to deal with. We're currently waiting for my husband to have a procedure called a varicocele embolism, but his doctor doesn't think that will happen until next year. My gynaecologist was pushing for us to start ivf but we wanted to address my husbands issues first which to me makes the most sense. I'm glad to hear you're getting support. It makes all the difference xx
Oh bless yas, yes it definitely makes more sense your hubbys issue gets sorted first, their sometimes way to quickly to push for ivf without making sense at all. Glad to hear your getting somewhere although its taking its time, your perseverance will surely pay off I'm sure!! Bless you hun. So nice to hear from you. 😘💗
How are you and your gorgeous girl's. Have they got your epilepsy under control? 😘💗
Firstly lovely to have you here. Secondly I’m really sorry to hear of the complications you suffered & sorry to hear you have been depressed . What a awful time you have had. I hope you are feeling better & getting support for it. Thirdly not sure if it’s right for me to say but congratulations on your pregnancy is what I want to say ? Sometimes the best things aren’t always planned. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been poorly- I’ve had a bad cold which soon turned into a chest infection it’s tough coz not much you can take being pregnant & when you have little ones rest isn’t an option ! Mines improved thanks to nurse issuing antibiotics. You are definitely no fraud everyone needs support - I think we are so hard on ourselves we should give ourselves a break- having a baby after suffering infertility for years is really difficult, for me I haven’t fully “got over” the journey I had to have my daughter I’m not sure I ever will. I think it’s really important to have support from others who’ve also experienced similar who understand . With COVID19 it’s even tougher because there isn’t so much of an option of meeting other mummies to share worries with! I do feel Francesca has missed out on so much- she loves interacting with her peers but isn’t get much opportunity to. It’s hard times we are all having to adapt to a new way of living, I think it’s having a impact on everyone’s mental health . I find it quite depressing really. Wishing you good luck for your scan, do update us ❤️xxx
Bless ya Jess congratulations is fine, made me smile coz i thought people will think should they congratulate me 😂 it just was a total shock but terminate isn't something i could do. Im religious and believe we can plan but god is the best of planners!!
I can totally understand why your journey hasn't left you you went through such an ordeal and 7 years ttc and then the worry of miscarriage on top it just isn't any fun at all! Such a relief you caught on so quick though you deserved that after such a hard time!! Francesca will be of nursery age soon maybe that will make you feel better getting her into nursery, my local Nursey came knocking the other day to get Azaan in just a day after his 2nd bday i know he'll love it. He's got his big sis too who plays with him so it wont be as stressful as it is for you, but don't let it worry you too much hun at that age they adapt quickly.
Sorry to hear you've been ill too bless ya its not fun hope your feeling better now. I'm hoping it stays away from my chest although i am a bit wheezy. Hopefully it'll pass soon. Thanks for your reply 😊 😘💗
My first child was completely unplanned but I wouldn’t ever regret having him, I couldn’t consider abortion either. 💙
I believe sometimes life happens how it is meant to I believe in fate ❤️
We didn’t expect it to happen I couldn’t believe it thought I didn’t think it would happen with my endo & age against me, like you I am also massively shocked by it haha even tho I’ve seen the baby & heard heartbeat twice 😂 we are going to have gender scan Halloween excited to find out the gender( not that we have a preference ). Because of COVID19 hubby wasn’t a allowed attend dating scan so will be the first time he will see baby. I am due the same time I was 3 years ago with my chemical pregnancy 😍
You must be 6 weeks behind me? Hope the pregnancy is going smoothly ? Have you told your other children about the pregnancy or are you waiting for scan? Francesca is too young to know what is going on. xxx
Amiera picked up on the pregnancy with a phone call to the drs. "Mummy pregnant means your having a baby doesn't it?" Yes Amiera maybe we will we just have to see."oh yes mummy i hope its a girl this time" 😂
Im 10 weeks now and the games have already started been in hospital all night they think I've got a clot. Drs are debating how to scan me to make sure baby is OK they'd normally do a c t but their gonna discuss and tomorrow they'll have a plan. I was doing so well keeping out of hospital ! 😘💗
Welcome back👋🏼 what a traumatic time for you and no wonder you feel a little apprehensive. Hopefully with the right support and getting the support early will help make the journey easier. Congratulations though xx
We are great thanks. She’s just over 2.5 years old and in the midst of terrible twos 😂 we are starting our next fertility cycle next weeks so that’s scary but can’t wait too xx
Oh wow. I never experienced terrible twos with my daughter. Certainly have with my son well before he turned two. Wow soo exciting wishing you all the best for your coming cycle 😘💗
Hi lovely, welcome and congratulations on your pregnancy. I also had a traumatic birth and suffer from some of the same issues you've described with your bits, so if you just need a listening ear I'm here for that x
Thanks my love. So sorry to hear you've had a traumatic birth too. Also about the lady bits such a nightmare, here if you'd like to chat too my love ,😘💗
Oh my goodness! it’s mad to think we first started talking before you were even pregnant with Azaan and now we’re both pregnant! Ill be keeping everything crossed that covid doesn’t effect your maternity care in the slightest and this bub is strong and healthy like their brother and sister! xx
Awwwww!! Your such a love. I know time flies really does. How far are you now?!. I'm in bloody hospital they think I've got a clot drs are gonna debate in the morning how to scan me to check 😘💗
21 weeks so time is flying! And better you get checked than leaving it, especially with your clotting disorder! Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞🏻🤞🏻 xx
Hello! So nice to see you ‘again’. Congratulations on your pregnancy! Sometimes things are meant to be I think. So sorry to hear about all your issues, sounds like you’ve been on a dreadful journey. Well done for being open on here. I wish you all the best with baby number 2, how exciting! Hope you’re no longer in pain xxx
Oh wow third baby, even more exciting! Fingers crossed it’s not a blood clot but if it is at least it’s been detected and can get treated. I wish you a lovely smooth healthy pregnancy xxx
Im really sorry to hear about your traumatic birth and the long and painful journey since. We had a rather traumatic time after having our boy very early, the scars can run deep at times. Also very sorry to read your in hospital at the minute, keeping everything crossed that all is ok and you can be discharged back to the comfort of your own home very soon. I remember you from a few years ago when we were just starting out on our ivf journey and you were such a pillar of support for us all ❤️ I really hope everything works out well for you guys. Xx
Hey Cat! What a tough time you've had! You've done amazingly well to come out thr other side, but I can only imagine your apprehension of going through another pregnancy and labour at the moment. If you haven't already, I would discuss your history and your concerns with your midwife to ensure you get the best possible care throughout your pregnancy and during labour / birth.
Have you had your covid result back yet?
Good luck at your scan. Please do keep up updated on your progress xx
Midwifes are really aware of my history they have really been on ball i think i need to be open about the birth part. They have stressed to me it will be another section with my previous 2 emergencies. So if everything is ok with bubu ill start to open up about my anxieties over the bowl obstruction etc.
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and no need to apologise my love. It sounds like you've had a lot to deal with. We're currently waiting for my husband to have a procedure called a varicocele embolism, but his doctor doesn't think that will happen until next year. My gynaecologist was pushing for us to start ivf but we wanted to address my husbands issues first which to me makes the most sense. I'm glad to hear you're getting support. It makes all the difference xx 
*Sensitive*: How do you know if you are “one and done”? (Older mother)
sensitive post ⚠️ I’m pregnant! 