Autistic daughter : My 4 year old daughter... - Autism Support

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Autistic daughter

Jess1981 profile image
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My 4 year old daughter is diagnosed autistic and non verbal. The services haven't been the best. I also have a grown up son and another daughter who is only 15 months old. Tne meltdowns and behaviour of our 4 year old are incredibly challenging and most of the time I feel pretty overwhelmed and put of my depth. I feel at breaking point. I am hoping to connect with other parents who have autistic children 😊

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Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981
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3 Replies
Bulldoguk profile image
Bulldoguk

hi I have a 4 year old granddaughter whom is autistic and non verbal. You need early intervention from early years support worker who will guide you through all assessments and into the right nursery for your daughter. I feel this is essential as early on as possible. There is very little help out there regarding support. There is also a carers allowance you can claim and disability living allowance which helps with extra costs that your daughter will need. Your gp should start the ball rolling with a health visitor.

I hope this helps

Bee-bop profile image
Bee-bop

The national autistic society has different resources and a helpline that might help. Working out what's causing the meltdowns could reduce them. Sensory overload or lack is often the cause so working out what is will really benefit. Are certain sounds triggers? Bright light? Textures? Tastes? Touch? Each child is unique and finding what it is can be tricky. Does your daughter want to do things constantly for instance and meltdown when you need to do other things? I have two friends who both have autistic sons who would watch Thomas the tank engine over and over. One would be very distressed when told other things were now happening. To the child, the video is soothing and taking it away distressing so a meltdown would happen but, in time things improved. Being non verbal means that your daughter has less means of communicating too so, will behave in ways that challenge you especially with two other children as well. I know it might feel overwhelming for yourself sometimes too but, finding things that are soothing for your daughter and getting the right support are key. Get in touch with your GP and get a referral to see someone to help work with you and your daughter and her challenging behaviours. Maybe this might be CAMHS in your local area or disability services.

As she's 4 is she in nursery or ready to start soon as the local authority will need to create an education and health care plan for her which will hopefully help too.

My4angels profile image
My4angels

Hi Jess1981

I also have a daughter who is non-verbal and has just recently been diagnosed with Autism and global development delay. I totally understand how you feel about being out of your depth and feeling overwhelmed, it can be very lonely. But it does get easier if you seek the right help and support.

Do you recognise the triggers for her meltdowns? My daughter used to have major meltdowns, sometimes literally in the middle of the road, which were draining and distressing for all of us. It was mainly through frustration because she was unable to communicate, they also can't regulate their emotions.

My daughter was referred to speech and language when she was 3 (she is now 5) which has helped. They introduced pecs (picture exchange cards) which has massively improved her meltdowns as she can now show us what she wants. It's mostly when she's hungry, wants the TV on or is tired. She has started to say some words but they aren't clear. Has your daughter been referred to S&L? My daughter was referred by her nursery, in fact they were brilliant and got the ball rolling on her diagnosis too. Does she attended nursery?

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