i dont know what to do

[nanaethepainaway]

as a child i was suspected that something was wrong with me by family and friends but my parents never took me to my gp. i have now worked out that i may be autistic and this has caused me to be very distant to them and deeply affected our relationship. my dad has accepted that i may be autistic for sometime but has done nothing about it and my mom refuses to think there is anything wrong with me. i am 16 now and my life has been in my opinion very bad (*everyone always tells me i have a good life and i am ungrateful and should be ashamed of myself for my behavior). i was bullied for all of my younger life until 13 and have been self harming for 4 years, ihave a deep hatred of myself and i dont know how to behave also i am female and autism mainly presents differently in females from what my research has said. please tell me if this is common in us girls

[Aspen797]

You are not alone. Please read this web page: researchautism.org/the-auti.... ASD is underdiagnosed in women and women have some different experiences than men with ASD, especially with regard to masking. You are going to have too work hard too find your niche but it will illuminate your outlook when you do. Look at Quora. There are groups of young people with ASD there, including females with Asperger's groups. Look on Facebook. Get in touch with other women who have been where you are. You are not alone. You have a purpose in this life. I'm sorry you are having difficulty Right now.

[Hidden]

Try healthunlocked - mental health section, for depression etc

[Hidden]

I understand what you have gone through. I also always thought there was something wrong with me Females are generally quite different to males and some people do not realise the extent of some of the differences. You are not alone in these problems you have faced and are facing. I actually went to my GP with my parents when I was a child complaining of ‘headaches’ etc but the GP did not know what was wrong with me. Most of my family also refuse to think there is anything wrong with me and not only that - they ostracise me, bully me. I have never been horrible to anyone my whole life. Other people have been so horrible to me. I have been bullied and abused an awful lot but I don’t hate myself. I don’t hate anyone.

[Hidden]

I do not have depression although I have been through some terrible times in my life due to other people’s bad behaviour. You need to love yourself and even if other people are mean to you or abuse you or are violent you still have to love yourself