I am now nearly 30! Aged 21 at Uni I was diagnosed as having severe to moderate developmental dyslexia. This diagnosis came as a great relief as I felt I could let the world know I am not stupid its a learning difficulty! Anyway since then I have also felt like part of the diagnosis is missing. I studied psychology at uni and often thought I could be Aspergers, when I asked the educational psychologist he said I couldn't be as I had a group of friends. However despite always throwing myself into trying to make friends I seem to always be on the outer edge. Chatting one on one I can handle for about 20 mins or perhaps a couple of hrs on a subject - usually bitching about work. However I find the conversations very difficult to maintain usually lose focus and count things, or tap rhythms with my foot. In a group of people I cannot successfully add to the conversation ever! Even if I manage to find a slot to speak in (often people talk over me or I start talking at the same time) people often look at me like I said something strange and then continue disregarding what I said.
I have a few friends however none of them are true friends, simply they are colleges and if I change place of work, I change friends too. I am in contact with one person from school even although I still live in the same area as them. I notice other difficulties too, I seem to take things wrong perhaps too literal or other people take offence at things I say. If my day changes when I'm not expecting it to I end up very anxious and often feeling frozen, something like me and my boyfriend planning to grab fish n chips on the way home then he decides to treat me to a pub meal - If I have already imagined myself in the chippy and predicted how long the q is going to be and what I want to eat and what my second choice would be, I feel completely unsettled and unhappy about going for a pub meal even if it may have been my original choice. I know its stupid so I end up trying to pretend and try my hardest to enjoy it but its overshadowed by an uneasy frustrated feeling. I am also very fussy eater - I can eat anything when required but I really don't like to. Its not the flavour that puts me off food its the texture not that I'd ever admit it as people think you are weird! I would happily eat 'clean' food like veg especially raw veg.
The problem is given the choice of sitting on my own and sitting on the outer edges of a social gathering being frustrated and ignored I'd rather go to a social event.
Could I have aspergers?
