Are you as fed up as me?: So, lockdown ends on the... - Ataxia UK

Ataxia UK

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Are you as fed up as me?

DeniseLB profile image

So, lockdown ends on the 2nd December, but does it really…… We are coming out in tier 2 and before anyone says anything those coming out in tier 3 my heart really is with you.

To me it just means the same, I live on my own and apart from one friend that also has helped me out I have seen the odd masked delivery driver over the last two months, I promise I don’t mean that all delivery drivers are odd by the way. Actually, my last outing was back in February just before the first lockdown and that was, you guessed it a doctor’s appointment. I even had a virtual appointment with my Consultant, it felt like a bit of a waste of time. So, I feel like a goldfish in bowl looking out on a world that I feel no part of.

I am a bit of a happy soul normally, but I did play Billy no mates on my birthday (no offence meant to anyone called Billy), could not go to my uncle’s funeral and like many of you missed many family events.

But when I got the email from my local Council and realised that a long put off lunch with my best friend was not possible even after the 2nd December at my house, I did hit a bit of a low. Should the rules not be slightly more open for us who do live on our own? I do understand that carers are allowed in, but I am not at that stage, well not yet anyway!

Oh, here is another moan, I have been doing all my shopping online for over 5 years, anyone else had a nightmare with that recently? I at 4am this morning managed to book a delivery slot with Sainsbury for 21st December, in fact through all this I have been booking for deliveries way beyond I would have ever thought, but there is no choice as they go in seconds!

I am interested to know how you are doing.

Denise xx

16 Replies

Hi Denise. It’s good that you are venting your frustrations. This is a good place to do it. In all honesty I have mostly enjoyed staying in. I have had my share of family and friend events to last a lifetime. The occasional zoom get together satisfies my social obligations better than the effort it takes me to go out. My many doctors appointments have been great from home, again I don’t have to make the effort to go out and my conversations with my doctors and specialists have been fantastic. Knock on wood I haven’t needed any emergency room visits or hospitalizations during this awful time. Like you I have been shopping online for many years, so doing so during the pandemic is not abnormal for me. Friends have actually sought me out for advice as to how to do it. Due to my physical condition I do have a caregiver, a wonderful woman who takes good care of my needs and I enjoy seeing the world thru her eyes and sharing my experiences with her. I had a good conversation with an old friend and he brought up the point of how it must be difficult for young people who have not had the life experiences yet that we older folks have. I can’t imagine losing a year of my life if I was in my 20’s or 30’s. The pandemic in many ways has brought the masses to my level. That of a shut in most of the time. The daily difficulties I experience have now become common for many. The psychological adaptations I have had to make for the past 5 years are now very interesting for me to observe in others. I do feel for your loss of not being able to do some normal activities as I feel the same for so many others. But I do wonder at the mostly healthy and younger population whining about not being able to dine out or go to the gym. Good god learn how to prepare an excellent meal at home or exercise within your own space! Have we become such a spoilt society where these things are expected rather than enjoyed? I do feel for those who are suffering financially due to job loss. We as a society have failed to care for our more unfortunate ones! I do not feel sorry for the many smaller business operators, they will suffer some maybe bankruptcy and then resurface in some capacity again. Most of us who have lived an entrepreneurial life have shared many losses only to re-emerge in another capacity. I live in a tourist town and what I do miss is not being able to go out and enjoy my town now that all the rude foreign tourists are not here clogging up the place! Oh well, I suppose I’ve gone on long enough for now. My point being is count your blessings, it’s the little things that matter most. Find beauty and peace and happiness where it exists without all the external stimulation most have come to need and expect. Be grateful that you have electricity and technology to make things pleasant in your own surroundings. Be safe happy & healthy!

DeniseLB profile image
DeniseLB in reply to Cubsfan

Hi Cubsfan,

I do get some of what you say and I was not really any party animal before all this happened, I had in fact come to terms with the fact that my life had totally changed, but I did enjoy meeting friends once or twice a month and I have been lucky over time as they would normally visit me or pick me up, even better! But just before the first lockdown I had reconnected with an old friend that I had not seen in 20 years we made plans to meet up and then it all stopped and I take your point about using Zoom, although I used to use Skype, it is not the same as having someone in the room with you. Some conversations only really work in person. I think the online shopping has got me down when it really is the only way that I can get food in, although I do have friends that would help, but they have been working all through this and I don't want to put added pressure of them. I got told I was mad for being up at 4am to book a Sainsbury delivery slot for Christmas week, well I am glad I did as I checked back later and there was nothing, that happens more often than not.

I am glad that it has not been too bad for you.

Oh well tomorrow is another day! xx

I’m with you, Denise, I’ve been out twice since March and now have cabin fever too. I didn’t lead a wild life but my few trips—book fair!—and visits—I do enjoy board games—have gone and I miss ‘em very much.

DeniseLB profile image
DeniseLB in reply to BrettDarby

Hi Brett,

I thought I was going slightly crazy before the lockdown as I spend a lot of time on my own, but then to be told it is not safe to go out.! Suddenly I wanted to go out even more. Have you thought about looking at gaming sites where you can play board games with people online? I know it is not the same, but it might take up a few hours in the day. I play quite a lot of computer games, lots of crosswords and pretend I can still cook, although I still hate cooking for one. I do have a friend that comes over once a week that really looks out for me and has attended every single hospital appointment I have had in over 5 years, so I don't go more than a week without actually getting a real conversation.

See I am happier already! xx

BrettDarby profile image
BrettDarby in reply to DeniseLB

"See I am happier already!"--good :)

Which would you say is your signature dish?

I've got a gaming site, it's play by post and can scratch the itch, but you're right, it's not the same as face to face.

DeniseLB profile image
DeniseLB in reply to BrettDarby

Hi Brett,

I don't think I have a signature dish, but I love Chinese food and was a dab hand at stir fries. I used to do everything from scratch. I do still cook, but I do cheat a bit now, I tend to stick to more hearty meals that freeze well, like stews and casseroles in the winter, they normally include the odd cup of red wine though!

It is not so much the actual cooking thing it is the prep, if a recipe says it will take 10 mins I need to add on an hour. I just need a pair of new hands!

Still happy! xx

I understand exactly how you are feeling. We have come out in T3, not that it makes much difference to me.I thought, however, that if you are a person living on your own you could form a bubble with one or two other people from the same household. Double check that you won't be able to see your friend. You may be able to have your get together. Stay safe.


DeniseLB profile image
DeniseLB in reply to pollybanana

Hi Jan,

I actually thought about the tier system and the only one that would have made a difference to me is if we came out in tier 1. But it seems that you have to live on the Isle of Wight or Cornwall, sure there is another place to be in tier 1. I live in SE London and they just blocked all of the 32 London Boroughs together, just like that. I do understand the bubble system, but I don't have children, but my friends do and there is no blame here, but they have already formed their bubbles. We think we have actually found a place that we can meet up for lunch some time next week, although we may have to sit outside! I said I was up for it.

So you never know and I have found out that at least I won't be on my own on Christmas day.

You stay safe too.

Denise xx

Hi Denise

This year has really been a bad one that has effected a lot of people in negative ways some worse than others, for you, living on your own can’t be easy at this time.

I really think a few months into next year will be a different world, as the weather gets better, lighter mornings and nights and most of all a vaccine so we might be able to get back to a normal world. We can now see light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

As Cubsfan rightly said this is the place to get some support so you are never on your own, you have thousands of friends on this website to call on.

You stay strong and safe my friend a few more months and things will be much better.

Keep in touch.

Who Cares Wins.

DeniseLB profile image
DeniseLB in reply to

Hi Paul,

I like the Who Cares Wins!

I think the days getting shorter have made it all worse and yes I am looking ahead. I am feeling a little guilty for moaning at all. Actually the 21st December is the shortest day so onwards and upwards from then on. You do know there is the point that next year I will be another year older!

I can't wait for the spring!

I know there are some great people on this site as I talk to a few and you too now!

Denise xx

We were in Tier 3 anyway, so back to square one. I would find it easier if we weren’t enduring short winter days at the moment. A couple of weeks ago we went to Tesco for the first time since the initial lockdown in March..apart from that we’ve just been having short trips to our nearest supermarket, I’ve never tried online food shopping but I know people have struggled to get deliveries.🙂 As long as I can still go online I’ll be kept out of trouble 😉

DeniseLB profile image
DeniseLB in reply to wobblybee

Hi Beryl,

I would even now prefer to do my actual shopping in a real supermarket, but the last time I tried on my own was back in 2015 I knocked over everything in my path, fell over twice and then just left the shopping trolley and walked out! Been doing it online ever since! It is actually quite stressful at the moment as if you don't time it right there is just blank spaces where you want to book your slot. So it really is like, okay then no food this week. Don't worry I won't starve my freezer is full. I agree with the online bit as it keeps me out of trouble too. I have actually even ordered all my Christmas cards online this year, I normally get a friend to take me out to do that sort of stuff, but here is a tip, the Card Factory are great and I have done all personalised cards for all my family at a fraction of the cost of the major ones that have ad's on the tv.

The short days make everything worse, I put a light on at 3.30 today and it had been sunny.

In tier 3 are you going to be able to have your family over for Christmas? I hope so.

Stay online and keep out of trouble and as always it is a pleasure to talk to you.

Denise xx

wobblybee profile image
wobblybee in reply to DeniseLB

🙂 Denise, the number of times I’ve almost left the trolley...😬 And, I couldn’t even attempt going if I weren’t accompanied 🙂 Previously I’d shop almost everyday, just pop-in for something I’d forgotten..happy days🙂My fridge somehow manages to stay reasonably full, but I don’t make good use of the freezer. Actually I’ve never been good at organising the freezer 🥴 When first married I had a 10.6cu chest freezer. what was I thinking 😂 There was never more than a scant layer on the bottom, and I almost fell in trying to reach it.. We’ll be moving shortly and all I’ll have room for is an under the counter freezer...I bet it’ll be full 😂

I’ve had problems myself when it comes to cards, with shops being closed, and a bad memory to take into account 😉 It’s good to know about the Card Factory 🙂 My Daughter had suggested Moonpig, it got me out of a tricky situation 😉

We were in Tier 3 prior to this latest lockdown, and we stay the same. Really the biggest problem for me is not having my hair cut 😉 This sounds trivial, but it hasn’t been cut since last December and I’m struggling with it now.

Christmas will be tricky 😕but we’ll organise something 🙂

Take care of yourself Denise 🙂stay safe ((hugs)) 😘xB

DeniseLB profile image
DeniseLB in reply to wobblybee

Hi B,

Yes my hair needs cutting too! If you have ever watched the Simpsons, there is a character who is the mad cat lady, my hair looks a bit like hers, I don't actually have any cats by the way!

I couldn't do without my freezer, I actually have two. One is just a small box one, but I have never really been able to cook for just one so when I do make the effort I need to freeze food. Trouble is I keep forgetting to label things so quite often eating is a bit of pot luck!

I promise I am not on some sort of retainer with the Card Factory, but the funny thing is that I actually used to buy all my cards from their store in Woolwich! I used them through the year for peoples birthdays so I just thought, what the hell, why not Christmas! It also took an hour as I did all the inside verses as well, it just makes the cards a bit special and its not like I didn't have the time to spare.

I really do hope you manage to get your family together for Christmas. I think there is always a way.

You take care too and hugs right back at you. Denise xx

Hi Denise, I know how you must feel, everyone is now getting fed up. Let’s hope the vaccine is here soon. I do my hobbies to help boredom, computer games, jigsaws, painting and colouring. I like art. I shop online too. If you have Morrison’s near by they will deliver to people who are elderly and vulnerable. All you do is phone them and when they answer pick option 5 then tell them what you would like for a weeks shopping, this is what I do, great service. Keep your chin up and enjoy your hobbies, take care.Suzie

DeniseLB profile image
DeniseLB in reply to suzie44na

Hi Suzie,

I have thought a few times about swapping the online supermarket thing, but I have been with Sainsbury for so many years, showing my age, long before there was a Morrison's or even a Tesco in my area. My hobbies include computer games and it used to be art and sewing until my hands got so bad. The one thing that does drive me slightly insane is before my disability I did all my own decorating, dab hand at nearly everything and now I dare not start. Guess how many jobs I can spy on a daily basis that I want to do! So much time on my hands and my hands being the problem.

I will keep my chin up and you too.

Moan over until at least Friday!!! Only joking, really!

Denise xx

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