You have to open up - let your thought out - now that's better...
Here we go folks some serious stuff which should be of interest to the older members of this esteemed body of… Mmm, better stop there I think
For those of you who have no interest in ‘thinking’ or, indeed, the ‘process of thinking’ then please leave the room, or better still, put the kettle on and we’ll have a brew. Don’t forget the biccies.
Now... Cognition folks -
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
Cognition is "the mental action or process of acquiring knowledge and understanding through thought, experience, and the senses." It encompasses processes such as knowledge, attention, memory and working memory, judgment and evaluation, reasoning and "computation", problem solving and decision making, comprehension and production of language, etc. (phew) (I'm glad I can still cut and paste cos that's a gobfull and a half... lol)
Continuing on... so pay attention (Mmm sorry, it's the instructor in me who can be a bit bossy at times... just ignore him)
Human cognition is conscious and unconscious, concrete or abstract, as well as intuitive (like knowledge of a language) and conceptual (like a model of a language).
(Me interrupting again, "well said sir, couldn't agree more - bravo... sorry please carry on")
Cognitive processes use existing knowledge and generate new knowledge.
Bloody Hell Enough lol…
It’s me again guys… I’m currently having a good Hee Haw over the above – talk about hedging your bets… brilliant.
Well folks, seriously now, that’s some real heavy sh.t being spouted there.
The workings of Cognition, of course, is mainly the preserve of the head shrink types of medic. These guys are in their element when going off on what’s intangible – nobody else has a clue what they’re on about so they, dutifully, nod and Mmm yes their understanding so as not to appear stupid or not in the know.
They can make it up as they go along Hee Hee Hee and throw in a good belly chuckle for good measure.
Please folks… Serious Note now: I have never had any type of relationship with anyone belonging to the Psych Fraternity, not even so much as an appointment… honest.
I also have no reason whatsoever to be down on them and I definitely would have no reason to not take their pills/drugs. ... Well not much of a reason! Huh - (who brought that up?)
Talking about psychiatric type drugs: have you noticed that a lot of the medications prescribed to help with our symptoms are drugs that were developed for other illnesses including the loony Tune meds. And, if you read the info on the side effects for that drug, it quite often lists the very symptom that you have been prescribed it for? – go figure lol.
Another Serious Note folks: my apologies to anyone offended by my constant references to “Loonies” I understand, I’m one myself. and I don’t take umbrage at the way I use the psychologically challenged, amongst us, as a vehicle to cheap humor… sorry.
Now, that's the phoney sincerity apology done with... so where was I?
Ah yes, the loony pills and other medications used for treating Ataxians….
Naa, I’ll keep that particular subject for another day, it’s quite involved and will require a significant cognitive impute by me and, quite frankly, ma heid’s (head’s) nippin (stinging) and sparking (don't know) away quite merrily.
So moving on to … wait for it now… wait – yes, “The Daily Joke” tadaaa.
Jeez, I think I really am going loony
Never mind, I was out surfing the web looking for a suitable joke which would keep the Psych theme going and I came across a site run by Psychologists for Psychologists... this should be interesting I thought...
Remember that my search is for Jokes and Cartoons so
– here’s , what’s supposed to be a light hearted contribution, in an otherwise very serious subject area by a real, genuine Medical Doctor.
The article being titled:
"The Top Ten Funniest Psychology, Psychotherapy, and Psychiatry Jokes".
(even the article title is unreal lol)
1. What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?
A magician pulls rabbits out of hats, whereas a psychologist pulls habits out of rats.
2. Two psychotherapists pass each other in the hallway. The first says to the second, "Hello!"
The second smiles back nervously and half nods his head. When he is comfortably out of earshot, he mumbles to himself, "God, I wonder what *that* was all about?"
3. Two behaviorists meet each other in the street. "Hi," says one, "How am I feeling today?"...
That evening, they get up to carnal shenanigans (edited by myself because it's not right to use "carnal shenanigans" sex word, is it?).
The other one says, "That was good for you. How was it for me?"
(bit smutty that one... sorry. I didn't get it either)... no, not the carnal shenanigans ... the Joke... mmph.
4. How many psychotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, so long as the light bulb *wants* to change.
(Jeez... not a lightbulb joke)
5. How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. All he has to do is hold it in place while the world revolves around him.
(not bad if you know what a Narcissist is - personally, I don't...
so Here ye go...
Narcissist is a noun and is...
a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.
Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's own attributes. The term originated from Greek mythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water.
Narcissism is a concept in psychoanalytic theory, which was popularly introduced in Sigmund Freud's essay On... wait for it - yeah "Narcissism".
He's got a lot to answer too has old Sigmund lol.
Now please, that's enough, and No I'm not a Narcissist, I'm not - I'm better than that so there.
Back to the Jokes folks...
6. "Doctor," said the receptionist over the phone, "there's a patient here who thinks he's invisible." - "Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
7. What's the difference between a loan and a psychologist?
The loan eventually matures and earns money... (huh?)
8. Johnny paid his way through college by working as a waiter in a restaurant.
"What's the usual tip?" asked a customer.
"Well," said Johnny, "this is my first day, but the other guys said that, if I got five dollars out of you, I'd be doing great."
"Is that so?" growled the customer. "In that case, here's twenty dollars."
"Thanks. I'll put it in my college fund," Johnny said.
"By the way, what are you studying?" asked the customer.
"Applied Psychology." (come on... how's that funny?)
9. A man was walking in the street one day when he was brutally beaten and robbed.
As he lay unconscious and bleeding, a psychologist, who happened to be passing by, rushed up to him and exclaimed,
"My God! Whoever did this really needs help!"
10. A psychotherapist returned from a conference in the Rocky Mountains, where the delegates spent more time on the icy ski slopes than attending lectures and seminars.
When she got back, her husband asked her, "So, how did it go?"
"Fine," she replied, "but I've never seen so many Freudians slip."
Now this is the Doctor rounding up his article:
"If you know any more good psychology jokes, do post them in the comments section"!
Also, see my related posts, Top 10 Zen Jokes and Top 10 Philosophy Jokes (Christ help us there's more lol)
Dr. ******* ****** is author of The Meaning of Madness, The Art of Failure: The Anti Self-Help Guide, Hide and Seek: The Psychology of Self-Deception, Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions, and other books.
Back to me folks... that guys no real lol.
Still me folks… incredible is all I can say cos if that chap believes that the above are even remotely funny then god help his patients.
However, Mmm (CAUTION: I’ve got my “Doctor Cubby Psycho” hat on) Here's what Dr Cubby has to say...
"It is clear to me that this level of humor expounded to and therefore shared with his psychiatry type brethren demonstrates, to me, a distinctly higher level of cognitive thought processing and, of course, a superior intellect.
Furthermore, I believe that the underlying basis, forming his asserted but subtle reasoning to his humor, is nothing short of brilliant…
I, without reservation, applaud this thought provoking submission by the good Doctor and look forward to both his next book and his next submission on these vaunted pages. Well done sir…"
Testicles... sorry but the guy's crazier than I am lol... No, not Dr Cubby - the Dr Joke guy from the article.
It's really is over now... take good care, see ya tomorrow, god willing...
P.S. Sorry if my reference to a certain part of the male reproductive system offends but as I'm not qualified in the female version then... ye know... sorry.