Should I feel guilty watching my wife clear the snow off the drive?
Guilty Feeling!!: Should I feel guilty... - Lung Conditions C...
Guilty Feeling!!
Written by
dall05
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Unless you're capable of doing it dall then definitely not 
Your wife is a star! If you can't do it, you can't though.
My question is 'does anyone need to do it!'
Auntymary xx
Its the only way to get the car off the drive as its quite steep so I guess it has to be done so she can get to work. Someone has to keep me in the manor I have become accustomed too.
I've had many years of being the one who has to do things - I can tell you the worst aspect is when the one who can't do a job then watches gloomily saying things like 'I should be doing that' instead of saying brightly 'thanks love - would you like a cuppa'. When we lived with my parents (dad had COPD, mum was stroke disabled, then my husband had heart trouble and I worked full-time and was the breadwinner), there was a 3/4 acre lawn to mow - and Dad wanted it done in immaculate stripes! It took 2 hours - and all the while he would be watching and fretting. I was wandering up and down in relatively straight lines muttering under my breath about being watched and raising my blood pressure !
Seriously - forget the guilt, just get the kettle on !
Gill
Haha! Just reading down the comments thinking that she wouldn't appreciate me standing watching her. Her job is to clear the snow and mine is to make sure she has enough tea to keep her going!
Than I saw your comment - it's good to know it's not just me that thinks that way!
hello i know how you feel i went out and had a go yesterday coats on o2 on gloves etc, i managed a bit of clearing wet my self, and then by the afternoon i had to take steroids as breathing had realy got bad, i do not think i will try again, but i should not have even tried, but guilt sort have pushes you, now she is having to do more for me,
Hi dall05.
I've found that, when my wife is doing the things I used to be able to do, I will feel guilty whether I should or not.
It is a feeling of inadequacy, uselessness, which can make me very depressed and I have to work very hard at the remembering the logic of the situation (and still blaming myself for my smoking & trying to forgive myself for my stupidity).
One day at a time.
Frank
Hi i think everyone who has a partner to help do the things they cant should be grateful for that and show their appreciation to that person for doing the great job they do, some of us are not so lucky and have to struggle on our own! not meaning to upset anyone but maybe just be gratful for what you have xx
Yes I know too well how you feel as I have been there wear the T shirt. My wife has to scrape the ice off the car. She is clearing the snow off the car as I type. If I need a letter posted most the time my wife will go around to the post and send it off. Because I am now severly disabled by this damn emphysema. My wife is a treasure. And I really do not know how I would manage without her. She is uncomplaining. And willingly looks after me. But yes I still feel guilty at times. It is not nice looking out the window thinking I should be doing that. But have to accept I cannot any longer. Not without a lung transplant. Show her how much you appreciate what she does for you. and make her a cup of coffee or tea. I am sure she does what she does out of love
I feel guilty when my husband cleans, vacuums etc. can't help it and I'm sad that I can't do it. I seem to have de-conditioned since cracking my ribs and spraining my collar bone, so now even the ironing is becoming difficult, but what makes me saddest of all is not being able to do my garden - it was mine and now it's not, and we are selling my car that makes me sad too, because that is the last of my independance gone - oh dear what a sad little blog.
Lib x
So nice she can find something to do.
Well I had to go out today and do a few of the things hubby and daughter would normally do. That was down to the fact that she is ill right now and was not up to tackling the snow and ice as well. Plus if she has a fit or blackouts I cannot move her on my own. So I had to take over his role, just for today. So I over shopped and darned near killed myself. So for me I will not feel guilty if I watch him do something I cannot do anymore. But I think we do at times think about the things we cannot do rather than the things we still can do, like look out of the window and watch your wife doing an impersonation of a snow plough xxxx
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