On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me,
I'm glad we bough a turkey and a proper Christmas tree.
On the second day of Christmas much laughter could be heard
As we tucked in to our turkey-a most delicious bird
On the thid day of Christmas we'd friends in from next door,
The turkey tasted just as good as the day before.
On the fourth day of Christmas Gran came,she's rather old.
We finished up the Christmas pud and ate the turkey cold.
On the the fifth day ofChristmas the snow flakes flurried
But we were nice and warm inside-we ate the turkey curried.
On the sixth day of Christmas the turkey spirit died.
The children fought and bickered and we ate the turkey- fried
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave a whince
When he sat down to dinner and was given turkey mince.
On the eighth day of Christmas the dog ran offfor shelter
I served up turkey pancakes and a glass of Alka Seltzer
On the ninth day of Christmas poor Dad began to cry.
He said he couldn't stand the strain of eating turkey pie.
On the tenth day of Christmas the air was rather blue
And everybody grumbled at eating turkey stew
On the eleventh day of Christmas the Christmas tree was moulting,
mince pies as hard as rocks and the turkey quite revolting
On the twelth day of Christmas at last Dad smacked his lips.
The guests had gone,the turkey too-we dined on fish and chips!
Richard Cornish
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this had me in stitches 
I had to post This ! 
