Bereavement and loss.

[Biofreak]

Hello everyone. I've not been around for quite a while but thought now is the time to tell you that my husband passed away in February after his long struggle with chronic rejection of his double lung transplant which he only received in June 2021. I'm struggling coming to terms with his passing and although I knew it was going to happen it's still very hard. The last 3 years have been a rollercoaster of joy initially turning to fear and worry. Seeing someone you love fight and struggle to breathe and go through so much pain is the thing I can't shake off. My husband was a fighter and fought to live right to the end. I will find my way through it because I have to and my daughters are a constant support. My youngest daughter is now 17 weeks pregnant after her 3rd round of IVF which gives me delight and something positive to look forward to. On a positive note for anyone waiting for a transplant or having just had one, don't let this post about chronic rejection affect your positivity. There are far more good outcomes out there than bad ones and my husband's experience was quite rare so keep your chin up because you will be fine.Best wishes everyone xxx

[peege]

Hi there Biofreak, my heartfelt condolences to you its been a really tough ride for you over the last few years. It's still early days for grief to take a back seat however, I cant help thinking it may help you so scroll down and have a look at Thepainterswife post called Till we meet again. She has recently lost her husband, it's a lovely post with a lot of love and positivepositively. Many beautiful replies that are so encouraging.

Thinking of you & hoping the pregnancy goes well and you'll have a little one to cherish - I also hope they're not too far away like my lot!

[Biofreak in reply to peege]

Thanks peege. I have already read the painters wife's post. In fact it was that which encouraged me to post this today and yes some wonderful replies.

[peege in reply to Biofreak]

aw that's great, I'm sure she'd be really pleased to hear that ×××

[CDPO16]

I'm so sorry that you are struggling to come to terms with your loss although it is understandable. I hope that time will help you to learn to live with it and that the expected new baby will bring some happiness to your life. xx

[Biofreak in reply to CDPO16]

Thanks CDPO but I don't think I will come to terms with it but rather I will learn to live with it . X

[CDPO16 in reply to Biofreak]

I think that is all we can do. I have found it to be so from personal experience. xx

[Caspiana]

Hello there. I am so very sorry to read this. It is indeed a very tough journey and you have been with your husband every step of the way with much devotion. I hope you can now take a rest and look forward to the birth of your grandbaby. I wish you well for this next phase of your life. Sending you my deepest condolences Biofreak. xx 🌹

[Biofreak in reply to Caspiana]

Thank you Caspiana. I don't regret a single moment of that devotion. I know without a doubt that he would have done the same for me. X

[sassy59]

Sending heartfelt condolences to you on the loss of your dear husband. It’s never easy watching a loved one struggle and I’m sending love and hugs to you at this difficult time. Xxx❤️🤗

[Biofreak in reply to sassy59]

🤗xx

[Donald_1931]

You are a very brave lady and I admire the way you are dealing with this terrible outcome setting a fine example to us all. My very best wishes to you and your family. xxx

[Biofreak in reply to Donald_1931]

Thanks Donald x

[Morrison10]

May I add to the condolences and nice comments of dealing with this awful time. Best wishes to you and your family. Jean x

[Biofreak]

Thanks Jean. Your support is appreciated xx

[Hellodolly]

Hello-

I am so very sorry to hear about the struggles you both faced, and now this enormous loss of your life partner. Anything one writes at this time can feel like empty words as you are in a place of such pain and trauma, and each day can feel like a challenge. It sounds as though you had an intense love for each other , and that is something to be held on to and treasured.

I am thrilled to hear that a new person beckons who will add some joy to the family, and I believe that your husband will be sharing that joy in spirit. Brighter days are ahead.

Love and light to you all.

[garshe]

Condolences to you ,hopefully the birth of your Grandchild will bring you lots of happiness. Wishing you good times ahead and I'm sure your husband is looking down on you all xx Sheila 😢💕⚘😘

[Biofreak]

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. X

[Digger0]

My condolences to you and the family. But good news re the grandchild xxx

[GintyFerguson]

Sincere condolences to you. That really must have been a roller coaster experience . Thank goodness you have a grandchild to look forward to. God bless.

[battison]

so so sorry to hear of your loss and all the trauma you went through. What a strong loving couple. I must admit chills went through me when I read IVF baby on the way. Like Painter’s wife I’m not conventionally religious but she spoke of a higher power seeing them through. We went through years of repeated miscarriage. Sadly we were never successful. But I can just imagine your daughter’s deep joy. It sounds trite but hang on to the light. As the Queen said pain is the price we pay for love. Take good care of you xx

[Biofreak in reply to battison]

Thanks battison. I must admit I am very happy for my daughter and son-in-law because they have been through a lot to get to this point and at the same time trying to support me and worrying about her Dad. Both my daughters were very close to their Dad and both spoke of their special memories of him at the funeral. They both did their Dad justice with their words of love and appreciation and I'm very proud of them both.

[Karenanne61]

You have my deepest sympathy.⚘️ Lovely news about the new baby, that will bring a glimmer of light into the darkness. And thankyou for finding time, in the midst of your pain, to write words of comfort to those awaiting a transplant.

[Biofreak in reply to Karenanne61]

Thanks. The last thing I wanted to do was worry those waiting for transplant. I would never do that because the gift of new lungs and the chance of life is very precious.

[Karenanne61 in reply to Biofreak]

Thankyou. 💕

[motorbike12810]

Bless you. Stay strong. My thoughts are with you and your family xxx

[watergazer]

So sorry for your loss. Sending you gentle hugs. It’s heart wrenching to lose a loved one even when it’s expected. Take care. What lovely exciting news about an expected grandchild Take care. 🤗🤗🤗

[leo60]

So sorry to hear your news. Your loss must feel even greater in view of the hope the transplant must have brought.

I hope the prospect of a new grandchild keeps you going, mine has been a joy for me.

Thinking of you and your family, all the best, Laurie xx

[Trishe]

Hi BIOFREAK,I'm so very sorry to read of your husbands passing, it something we all fear, we are all here to support support you during your time of grief, and onward. You have a lovely Grandchild to look forward to, which hopefully helps you too.

Take care

Trish xx

[Bingo88]

So sorry for your loss. I have recently lost a very good friend down Kent and his wife is struggling to come to terms with her loss. Hope in time you can move on and try to enjoy life again. Take care. Brian

[Lupino]

My sincerest condolences, Biofreak. May you receive love and support from those dearest to you. x

[Thepainterswife]

I’m so sorry sorry to hear this , please feel free to PM me ,should you feel the need ,at any time . I’m looking forward to the birth of my third great grandchild in four weeks so we have more than sorrow in common 🥰😊xxx

[Biofreak in reply to Thepainterswife]

Thanks to your post about your loss I finally decided to post which I had been putting off. My sincere condolences to you too. It's hard but we will find our way through won't we xx😘

[Thepainterswife in reply to Biofreak]

We certainly will ! I was reluctant to write the post but I’d already decided that if I had to carry on without Geoff I would do it as cheerfully as I possibly could , it’s what he would have wanted and I want to continue to be the person I’ve always been .I don’t want to be that sad old grandma that brings everyone down ! I knew that it would take an enormous strength of will to do that , but so far so good. Writing the post was the first hurdle and it’s been so worth it for all the support I’ve had 😊 I don’t stem the tears but I don’t wallow in them , I’m making plans and I m aware that some of them won’t come to fruition but whatever keeps me positive about the future I’ll go with for now . I’m so sorry for your loss, I’m guessing your husband was younger than Geoff and having had all that hope in 2021 I can understand how devastating it must have been to have your hopes for the future so cruelly shattered 🥲 Sadly, the truth is we are still here and we have to carry on and ,as you said , we will 💪🥰 much love Val xxxx

[Biofreak in reply to Thepainterswife]

My best wishes to you Val and I hope your plans come to fruition. I know Pete didn't want me to give up and I won't. I have a grandchild to look forward to hopefully. I will PM you soon and feel free to PM me whenever you want . Thanks again xx 🤗

[Izb1]

So sorry for your loss Biofreak, its a chance we take when offered a solution on a very hard road. The thought of new life coming will brighten your life soon x

[Deejay62]

My condolences to you and your family on the sad loss of your husband, but congratulations on your daughters pregnancy I hope it all goes well xx

[Biofreak in reply to Deejay62]

Thanks Deejay xx

[Mrbojangles]

so so sorry for your loss.

I’ve just had a double on St Patricks day and chronic and acute rejection is a major concern but as you say there are more positive outcomes.

Delighted to hear about your daughter… i wish you all the best.

Xx

[Biofreak in reply to Mrbojangles]

I wish you well Mr b. Be positive and rest assured, my husband's case is unfortunate but there are so many who have a new life as a result of their transplant. I pray you will recover well and live your precious life as fully as you can. Xx

[helen1946]

May your God love and help you and your family through your grief.and when your grandchild arrives I hope you will feel your husbands love surrounding you all.

[Biofreak]

Thank you xx

[Nicholatracy]

so very sorry 🐞

[Alberta56]

So sorry to hear that you've lost your husband- so sad when a loving bond like yours is broken. It is really kind of you to think of other transplant recipients and those awaiting transplants. Shows what lovely people this forum brings together. i hope you will soon be a loving grandmother to a beautiful baby. Condolences and very best wishes, Chris

[Biofreak]

Thanks Chris. You are right about the forum bringing people together for support. It's been invaluable on many occasions. It proves that there are still kind people who care out there. Sharing good times and bad is what bring people together in the most helpful way. Xx

[Ern007]

It is very hard to come to terms with a loves ones passing - Really takes some getting over and I so wish you well

Your youngest daughter with pregnant thought IVF will be a comfort for you, and will help you stay strong for her.

I wish you really well. xx

[Patk1]

I'm sad for what hubby went through.he must have loved U so much to fight so hard to live.condolences to u and family.He is at peace now.could u/ do u have photos about of happy times yr family have had? On losing loved ones,I got cpl ones out of how they'd want to be remembered,+ I 've found them gd to focus on.Congratulations on daughter being pregnant too.amazing how ivf works.we are blessed with an Ivf child 💞.his mummy always tells him he was made with love x

[Biofreak]

That's very true. I know how difficult it has been for my daughter and husband. It's 3rd time lucky for them so I'm praying that everything turns out well after everything, they need/deserve it. Anyone going through IVF deserves it. Yes I've got so many photos of happy times. We had a montage of photographs at the funeral with "Wouldn't it be nice" by the Beach Boys playing. Holiday photos, wedding photos, photos from Pete's childhood and ones with family and friends. My daughters bought me a multiple photo frame for Mother's Day and I've put a selection of photos in it which now hangs on the wall and it makes me smile every day. X

[helenlw7]

My heart goes out to you, you’ve all had a tricky few years. The arrival of your daughter’s baby will maybe fill a bit of the gap left by the parting of your husband.

[winnabago]

My condolences to you and your family at this most difficult time, hang onto the good memories, I pray that your situation will improve.

[dunnellon]

Please accept my sincere condolences in the loss of your husband. It's so supportive of you to positively encourage others waiting for a transplant. Best wishes to your daughter and son-in-law.

[Biofreak]

Thank you x

[JJ_7]

I am sorry it has taken a while to reply. I am very sorry to hear of your husband's struggle. Also, the grief of your immediate family. I love the positive tone and message to other transplantees. How kind. ♥️Thinking of you xxx JJ_7