I did something really stupid Friday night...I got really drunk and went out for a drive. I stayed up until 5:15am and couldn’t bear being in the house. Luckily nothing bad happened.
Even though I feel ok in myself at the moment, the steroids are helping and I’m hardly using my inhaler, it could be so much worse. I’m struggling mentally to cope.
I keep telling myself to “man up”. I can still work, and I probably could still live a long “healthy” life.
I do feel like the steroids are changing me a bit, I feel more bitchy at work, saying and doing things I wouldn’t normally. I feel like nobody cares apart from my husband who is very worried about me, especially my mental state which I had suffered with for a few years now.
I’ve always been a responsible person, but waking up yesterday made me feel like a complete loser. I’ve never done anything like that. And I worry I could be on a reckless path.
I still haven’t had a proper diagnosis as my specialist was on annual leave last week, and to be honest, I’m not in hurry to find out, even though I know it might mean moving by beautiful birds outside. At least that’s better than rehoming them, I just don’t want them outside. I’m trying to see the silver linings in all of this, and I know there are so many people out there who are so much worse than me. So why can’t I deal???
Last year I was struggling to figure myself out and felt so hopeless. So I changed my career and made changes that helped me to figure out myself, but with all this, I feel so lost again. And worried if I’ll make any of the goals I’ve set myself 😔
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CozmoCreepers
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Rest easy you are not going mad. Steroids can be mind bending, I get very raty when taking steroids. The real important thing is if you start getting suicidal thoughts then go to your GP immediately and tell him, if you have to, then phone the surgery and explain and get an emergency appointment. Those symptoms will soon fade away once the course of steroids has finished.
I do not like taking steroids at all as they give me mood swings and mess with my sleep patterns adding to the confusion.Weighing it up though ,for me the improvement they make to my breathing make taking them worthwhile.I try to manage the moods by reminding myself it is not me losing the plot it's the beastly pills. [a coping strategy I used to use with the dreaded monthly P.M.T :-)] The uncertainty of your diagnosis is adding to your worry as well.These feelings will pass and you will be off the steroids and have a clearer picture of things.
If you need to share your feelings do so on here.There is always someone listening and trust me we have all had our 'moments' If things do get too bad for you to cope please seek urgent help at your GP.
How long is your course of steroids? If it’s only a short course,perhaps your problem will clear up.
You need to speak to your GP,about your thoughts.
Perhaps you are very sensitive to steroids.
Please don’t drink and drive again.
It could just give you more problems than you have now.
I’ve been on steroids since last October,sometimes I really have to bite my tongue. Recently I feel really irritated when a receptionist/ nurse says take a seat /or take a seat in the waiting room.
I’ve managed not to have an outburst,just settling for muttering to my husband. It’s a bit worrying because I don’t normally feel like this
Time is the answer (and it sounds like you have it). I reacted awfully after diagnosis but I'm still here a year later and so much has changed, good and bad. It will get easier. xx
I have a rolling bird cage as soon as they make their first morning comment they get rolled outside til sundown they come back in, I feel they like the routine. You are AN ASS for getting behind the wheel drunk!! Where the heck was your husband? If you’re feeling extremely insecure turn to your mate THATS WHY YOUR MARRIED! I’m sorry if I’m harsh I’ve had my share of struggles- one of which was my big sisters funeral when I was 17 and she was only 27. She was drunk rolled a stop sign and went straight into the side of a mountain. The steering wheel smashed her chest she felt no pain and died instantly BUT left parents and 5 siblings behind to never forget the pain. Smoke weed and stay home and watch some comedy. I’m sorry you’re down but please save yourself and snap out of it. Life is good but ya gotta look for it
You’re totally right. I did smoke weed until all this happened. I have fibro and it helped with the pain, now I can’t smoke it. I don’t plan on drinking any time soon. My husband is giving me a hard time (he was asleep, I was up all night and he had work the next day). He has given me a hard time about it trust me. But you’re right.
Yes whatever happens don’t ever get behind the wheel when you’ve been drinking and think yourself lucky that you weren’t stopped and breathalysed or injured or killed yourself or worse an innocent party.
Keeping a clear head will better help you come to terms with your diagnosis and achieving your goals.
Sorry I was so angry with you for the drunk driving I failed to mention the fact that COPD is not a death sentence. I’ve had it for a long time it goes up and down it’s not always really bad. I still have a life and go to the gym at least 4 X’s a week, some days can’t get it all done but positive attitude is the best medecine and even if you feel lousy keep a smile and fake it til ya make it. Roids( steroids) can reek a lot of havoc on one’s mind once the series is over you should straighten out👍🤞
Hiya Hope you can give yourself a good talking to ( unless you can get outside help for that?)
Re things like you having a nice home, good partner, a job,nice birds ( either inside or out) A car ( you may need for your job /life so why would you risk your licence?)
You haven’t had a diagnosis and are not struggling with symptoms , hopefully a few doable adjustment will see you having a long life ahead.
So how about looking around you and just seeing what is reality and what is just bad thoughts in your head??
Hope your feeling more positive soon and are getting good help with your mood.
If it's any help to know how other people respond to the same medication, I find that steroids raise my mood and make me feel rather speedy, but that may be part of the fact that they work really fast to clear my lungs when I am badly congested and breathless from COPD. I take them about 5 or 6 times a year. For me the benefits greatly outweigh any side effects. However if you are feeling in any way like self-harming you need to get straight on to your GP and ask for a referral for a mental health assessment. There should be available help from the service providers working with people like us with long term conditions which can impact on our mental health. COPD alone in more than enough to get anyone down at the best of times!
It's interesting how we all seem to react to a diagnosis as if it's changed us in some way. The diagnosis is to help treat the condition - we are all exactly the same people we were before the diagnoses. Once you realise that, it does help.
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