No one let's you forget that your ill!!

[Erin001]

I'm a brittle asthmatic and have had my toughest year yet. I am okay now cos the heat seems to be helping and I have been asthma free for like 2 weeks maximum and I'm still okay.

I went to a club kind of thing meeting to see whether I like it and they do social stuff and marshalling. I get excited to do things and then my mum goes and reminds me I've been ill don't get ahead of yourself

It's like thx mum I try and forget my health for one evening and then you throw it back into my head

Who else gets reminded about their health before deciding to do an activity or is it just me?

Sorry I'm angry I need to let it out

[sassy59]

Oh Erin, it’s not great to be reminded of illness is it but your mum cares about you and sees how you are when poorly.

I have to confess that I can be like that with Pete. I’m his wife and carer and I find it scary when he’s ill. I’m sure he gets fed up sometimes but it’s just how it is.

Wishing you well. Xxxxx

[Erin001 in reply to sassy59]

I know she does I love her obviously but I want to do stuff without thinking my asthma can return and ruin my plans at any moment

Which I know but my consultant wants me to get out and be social and active so I'm trying to do that, I think it's so I have something other than health to think about

[sassy59 in reply to Erin001]

You enjoy your life every day while you can Erin and very best wishes to you. Xxx 👍

[Caspiana]

Hello Erin.

Welcome to the forum. 😊 I well understand your feeling. I have to be in the city next week to see my lung surgeon. My intent was to go by train with one of my daughters accompanying me. A semblance of normality for a change. But I have been categorically told I would not be able to make such an arduous journey. I will be driven there in a vehicle that resembles one of those bullet proof cars presidents get driven in. 😞😒 The thing is, I was hyped to do this. To make the journey, there and back again. To sit in a train, like everyone else. All the fuss has made me feel very incompetent.

I sometimes think because we are ill, those near to us feel the need to wrap us in bubble wrap to keep anything further happening to us. It can be infuriating. However, me being a mum myself, I think I would want to protect you too. Perhaps here , reassurance is the key. Sit your mum down and assure her that you will take everything in your stride and the moment you feel tired or unwell, you will rest , take your meds etc. Give her a huge hug and explain you need to live your life too, but will always be mindful of your health. I think it will help.

Keep doing what makes you happy.

Many hugs,

Cas xx 🙋🐕

[Hidden]

It must be very frustrating for you. Your Mum, much as she cares for you, needs to back off and let you take control of your own life. This is the only way that you will learn your limits and live a full life to your own capabilities. I was a child with extensive bronchiectasis and times when the exacerbations confined me to bed. In between I was marched up cliff paths, pushed into swimming pools and worst of all, forced to do games. Running around a cold and muddy games field, huffing and puffing whilst the asthma kids sat inside like ghosts, clutching their inhalers. What happened? I went on to lead a full life, marry, have children and travel the world, all the time in control of my condition. Most of those asthma kids grew up regarding themselves as invalids and achieved very little. I am 68 now and still giving it plenty. I recently walked 3 miles down a steep path to Petra and back, ten feet at a time! Go for it girl!

[Hidden]

Hi Erin, its the opposite for me, I am expected to keep up with the healthy lung family members and get frowned upon for having to go slower or rest more often than my parents in their 80s they don't really appreciate the difficulties I experience COPD is just one of the lung issues I am dealing with. The heat makes things more difficult for me.

I'd say if you are old enough to make your own decisions in life and are not considered a minor, explain to your Mum what the specialist advised you. If you are feeling well enough go get some healthy living time Enjoy.

[knitter]

All three of my daughters have asthma, they are grown up now, but during their childhood I had to watch them struggle to breathe at times. One especially was in and out of hospital.

It's very difficult to stand back and let them do their own thing when they could, and often they couldn't physically manage.....it also limited my life . I was aware of every cough and wheeze, I had to work, they had to go to school and manage a social life....not easy , but we did it.

They managed university ok, the universities knew of their asthma and helped with accommodation.

Then when they all started to leave home I developed asthma, and I realised the difficulties they had faced .

Listen to your body, know how to use your medication properly, let your school and friends and clubs know what to do as well. This will reassure your mum.

Good luck and best wishes.

[Hidden in reply to knitter]

A fabulous and very moving response knitter

[Ergendl]

Hi, Erin. It must be so frustrating for you. Maybe you could show this thread to your Mum, so that she sees what other people who've been there think. Wishing you all the best as you assert your independence.

P.S. I'm lucky in that most of the time people don't think there's a lot wrong with me. Then I go and do something too energetic without taking my puffers and have an attack, and that reminds them. Then they tell me to sit down, have a drink of water; and afterwards they forget until the next time.