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Depression

Time_2_drink profile image
102 Replies

Thank you for all your kindness to help me through my struggles I am sure you are sick of my posts by now but I don't know what else to do I have had my niece visit today I was still in bed was going to stay there all day but I got up and put clothes on .I have now got my brother and sister in law visiting I am finding it difficult they have been telling me about there granddaughters 18 party which I would have been at in diffrent circumstances and feeling so sad .I phoned the telephone counselling to tell them I am home and told no appointments life just passing by

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102 Replies

just to say people dont have to read your posts, but my penny worth is that most members are genuine caring for others.. specially when they feel you need help.

talk as much as you need and want to 😚 xx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to

Thank you for that yes I do need help and I am grateful for all who offer x

newlands profile image
newlands

We are here to help you and listen.

Do talk when you need us

Dorothy xx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply tonewlands

Thank you Dorothy I am at a loss to know how to go forward xx

Damon1864 profile image
Damon1864Volunteer

I agree if you want to talk then do it, nearly all of us on here care about each other and want to listen and support you. You post as much as you want. All we want is to be there for you. Take care and please remember to keep posting.😊 xxx Bernadette

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toDamon1864

Thanks I am really scared of being this way and don't want to live like this sat here really sweating I think it must be the anxiety just had my oramorph the oxygen is feeling like my enemy and I know it should not be this way I sometimes think I should be locked away and I know this is wrong

dyson profile image
dyson in reply toTime_2_drink

Hi Time sorry your feeling so down i no its hard to try and explain to people how you feel my son is on oramorph and it also makes him sweat feel clammy so it may not be just the anxiety but we are all here for you xxx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply todyson

Thanks but I had these before the oramorph that would have been a answer thanks for support xxx

mrsmummy profile image
mrsmummy

You may also get some help here:

healthunlocked.com/depressi...

And they have a list of places to contact in a crisis:

shawmindfoundation.org/supp...

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply tomrsmummy

Thank you

Donna1962 profile image
Donna1962

We are not sick of hearing from you its good that u are opening up to us on here that's what we are here for to listen to people and try to help we all need help at times

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink

Thanks Donna like I say I do need to talk I phoned the counsellor who I was speaking to but no appointments really need to talk to the psychiatrist who I could have seen at hospital I know there are people on here who are on oxygen full time like me and are living a life would love to know how to be stronger xx

sassy59 profile image
sassy59

We are here for you and do care. Please keep talking and take one day at a time. Focus on today and then deal with tomorrow when it gets here. Coming to terms with any illness is difficult but you will get there and l do firmly believe that, l just need you to believe that too. Take care xxxx 😘

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink

I want to believe you sassy so much because this is no life to live and if I am to have a life I need help and support and I having such anxiety which is crippling I would so love to feel calmer and not wringing wet with sweat you must be such a comfort to Pete and I hope that he is ok today x

Watfordgirl profile image
Watfordgirl

Hello T2d, I've not been here much but I have been following your posts and thinking lots about you. I'm so sorry you're in such a dark place ☹️. It must be horrible.

Try looking at things in a different way. When the body is in trouble and we're ill we can't do the things we'd normally do, the things we'd like to do. There are lots of different illnesses which stop people in their tracks. Literally. It's understandable but pointless to want to do what we used to do, to be stronger. We have to try to accept that we have to change for a while, while the body slowly recovers and gets better. It's good to try each day but if it's too soon then there can be pleasure in living life a little differently. Am I making any sense?

Have you tried putting your chair by a window in the sunshine? Can you look at your garden? Can you see the birds and hear them singing? You've had family round which must have been nice, but would have been nicer if you could have heard all the gossip about the 18th birthday party instead of dwelling on your sadness because you weren't there. Listen to some favourite music. Sit with your husband and hold his hand. Can he make you smile or giggle? Can he read to you for a bit? Could you phone a friend up every day just for a short chat and to find out how they are?

I'm going on much too much. What I'm meaning is let yourself accept the situation you're in at the moment and let yourself be the lovely person you are underneath all the worry, stress and panic.

On the other hand you could decide this is too long to get your head round! Have a nap instead.

Love, Sue x

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink

Thanks sue. No you are not going on I appreciate you taking the time to help me the only book my hubby would read would be sci fi but I know what you mean I don't see friends now because my best friend now lives in turkey she has been in England for a 2 month holiday but Bly seen her twice she busy lady and my other friends where all to do with caravaning none local so you see I am a lonley lady everyone got there life to lead which is as it should be really but still sad x

Watfordgirl profile image
Watfordgirl in reply toTime_2_drink

I know what you mean!! So have a bit of a chat each day with someone on here who you feel a bit close to.

Your life perhaps hasn't really changed then - you feel more aware of it because your life has become so much more limited recently?

It can change again. . . . x

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toWatfordgirl

Hope so sue truthfully I do x

What did you used to do before you became poorly T2D? (My wife's name was Margaret, such a comforting name I always thought.) I've just read your latest post... caravanning, just like myself, friends everywhere but none near home!

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to

Hi Don before Oxygen came into my life in December most of our spare time was taking up with caravaning we belong to caravan and camping club and most weekends would go to a rally meet up with people and make our own entertainment mostly we went without hookup only when big do did we have it made friends from all over though non local and would go abroad on plane though with a couple we met for last 14 years. So you see life is now so diffrent the caravan is just sitting in storage yard don't expect will ever get use of it now Best wishes Margaret

dyson profile image
dyson in reply toTime_2_drink

Time before i became ill i used to have 1930s cars and goto rallies but sadly no longer many people i met also belonged to caravan clubs but i dont really no any thing about caravaning could you write a blog for us tell us some of the places you went to some of the funny things that happened ect i no we would love to hear about it

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply todyson

That could be a idea for the future thank you

maggiewhiteley profile image
maggiewhiteley in reply toTime_2_drink

why can't you use the caravan? There is no reason you cant go caravaning,, Why didn't you go to your nieces party?

Does your husband still work?

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply tomaggiewhiteley

We weren't invited to her party always been asked in the past no Frank is retired was going to spend more time away with caravan .We need to look carefully at going away with the caravan it is a tourer not a static

maggiewhiteley profile image
maggiewhiteley in reply toTime_2_drink

It might take some careful planning, but you should try, bet Frank could do with the break too. Nothing is impossible if you want it bad enough. Trust me I know how hard it is when everything feels so hopeless, but in honesty only you can change that. Depression is a terrible thing, it makes you forget that those that care for you are suffering with you, and hurting to see you so low. If you can't manage with your tourer could you not hire a static somewhere you like, or hire a mobile tourer ? I do so hope that you find a way to focus on what you could be doing instead of imagining that all is over, its not, if you don't want it to be. Big hugx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply tomaggiewhiteley

I know Frank could do with a break it just seems so hard and I know I don't make it any easier but I know life for him would be better without me i fear for the future I really do maybe I have to get that far down the only way is up poor Frank x

maggiewhiteley profile image
maggiewhiteley in reply toTime_2_drink

Please Please Please don't think like that, just keep reaching out to us all on here , as you have been and keep trying to get that appointment with the physc, but just remember you have to open your mind to the advice and guidance they give you or it will not work. Have you actually been prescribed oxygen 24/7 now ? what have they given the oralmorph for ?

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply tomaggiewhiteley

Hello Maggie I have had oramorph for a couple of month now it is for the pain under left breast but it only lasts fleetingly along with coedine and paracetomal .I Have now got a appointment with psyche next Wednesday at noon need to get myself ok about going to strange place but determined to make it work .I have also been put back on the community matrons book 12/5 she is on leave at moment .I as prescribed 16 plus hours oxygen but my sats do not stay up so can't get of it just took off to wipe nose and went down to 81 and in hospital was told keep it on I appreciate all help I get from this site xx

maggiewhiteley profile image
maggiewhiteley in reply toTime_2_drink

So glad you have the appointments sorted out, we will all be willing you on, you know that don't you. The oxygen thing really is a difficult one, because using more than prescribed can be really bad for you. When I first went on oxy I felt so bone weary, like my body was struggling all the time and I wasn't able to do anything. Turned out I had been prescribed a too high flow rate , now it has been adjusted I feel a lot better, although my stats still fall when I mobilise but thats not going to change now, the oxy is to protect our other organs, its not going to repair out lungs. Anyway time2 you just take the best care of you and yours and just think that at least you have made a tiny step towards that brighter future by making those appointments.

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply tomaggiewhiteley

I know that I have a lot of support on here and one day I want to be the supporter I do to a degree now but hopefully if anyone is like me I will then have some answers for them it is very difficult to know what to do about the oxygen the oxygen nurse is coming on the 5/5 so will speak to her again .I am pleased you got sorted with your oxygen problems best wishes xx

It's a crying shame you were discharged before seeing a psychiatrist. They're much more prepared than most GPs to prescribe anti-anxiety & sleeping meds. Our wonderful GP WAS willing to give these when my husband was very ill & suicidal. He stayed on them about a year & weaned off with the GP's help. You need this more thoughtful approach. Could you see a psychiatrist privately? You shouldn't have to, but you sound so desperate. It's not queue-jumping, as if you hadn't been discharged from hospital, you would've seen someone by now anyway. As for telephone counselling, opinion used to be that severely depressed people were in no state to benefit from it, & their anxiety needed proper treatment first. I'm sure it's only touted now because it's so cheap.

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to

I agree telephone counselling not that good I am sure that I may have benefited from seeing someone well I hope I would have. .Tomorrow I may get a phone call from the lady I was yo see in hospital I apparently was to have seen her tomorrow and when I telephoned yesterday to ask for help I was told she not in till Wednesday and not sure if I can be seen now outbox hospital fingers crossed I can I am hoping if I can get help then the sweats will go and I will feel more comfortable

knitter profile image
knitter in reply toTime_2_drink

I was prescribed an anti anxiety drug by a hospital psychiatrist....I took it for a while and it helped with the acute, constant panic until I felt more in control and was weaned off it.

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toknitter

I will find out tomorrow if I can still see the psychiatrist now out of hospital I do hope so and maybe I can get same help

Ennyl profile image
Ennyl

It's awful to feel so sad and feeling that being alone and letting the world go by is exactly what you want!!! But what you actually need is an entirely different thing, have you tried writing down all the sadness and worry you are feeling? Beleive me it helps it's like writing a letter to yourself and anyone who cares to read it, I feel your sadness in your posts and you feel so lonely about your life , I understand I really do and I also understand it's difficult talking to family as you know already that how your feeling and what your saying is going to hurt them and you feel also that nothing and no one can help you, but honestly that is not so, please try writing your thoughts fears anxiety all down on paper it releases your emotions and don't matter if the tears flow as it's all to you and you alone, keep this letter and remember all you have wrote, then starting tomorrow get yourself up washed dressed do your hair whatever you used to do even if your not seeing anyone or gong anywhere do it for yourself cos your so worth it, write down all that makes you smile then smile laugh forget what's troubling you, go through all your troubles and remember what you can't change accept it,and what you can't accept change it, sounds easy I know but gradually with help and all of us on this site you will smile again you will go out gain and you will welcome your family with smiles and laughter, we all have bad times remember your good times to get you through this awful black hole you feel you the sun will shine on you again and we shall all laugh with you and feel so blessed we know you, and sometime soon you will feel so glad you never gave up and you fought for your counselling and won, bless you I so wish I could take you by the hand and pull you back into brighter days, feel all of us hugging you and giving you all the strength you need we are here always for you never forget that xx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toEnnyl

What a kind and thoughtful letter I have read it 3 times at the start of this illness I used to keep a journal of sorts filling excercise books with my ramblings and do forth I will read and re read this letter thank you x

Ennyl profile image
Ennyl in reply toTime_2_drink

I am looking forward to the times ahead when we all know your finally out in the sunshine, please keep posting how your feeling we are all here to support you and we will never tire of you in anyway as so many of us have all had our share of the dark days please know your loved and cared for and that can never change xx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toEnnyl

That would be lovely something to aim for just seems like I am forever going backwards and how long can I carry on this way before it becomes to much xx

Ennyl profile image
Ennyl in reply toTime_2_drink

We're here to help and now that your able to realise we are forever here for you I know you shall begin to help yourself everyday you shall get stronger because you can do it you have lived your life before this depression and eventually you shall live a good life again, I know you feel happiness is a long way away but please try every day to think of something that makes you smile am sure you have an awful lot to remember and smile, first though get on phone see your doctor tell him how bad your feeling and keep telling him until you get the help you need, please do this you are worth so much more and you need to be helped so get your strong head in and tell every doctor nurse whoever until you get support that you need so badly, in the meantime keep posting we're all here for you, day after day we're here please never forget this xx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toEnnyl

It is to be hoped so I am going to try evening primrose oil and see if it helps the sweats hope so then like you say need to get someone to listen to me had a good rapport with community matron who spoke to doctor for me but sadly now been taking of books so fight to get back on them i noticed in earlier posts you were having trouble sleeping have you got it sorted hope so xx

Ennyl profile image
Ennyl in reply toTime_2_drink

Terrible my sleep patterns I am waiting to go to sleep clinic ,so until then am taking amitryptaline which isn't the best but only thing that works, but I go on and on at doctors until they listen and do something, I don't like being this way but only way I get doctors to do what I ask. I feel my illness has taken so much from me that I won't allow it anymore! I know how you feel I have been there honestly you will get thru this and u will get sick of people like me saying that but it's true believe in yourself and don't let anyone take that from you xx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toEnnyl

I will never get sick of people trying to help because one day it would be nice if I was helpingsomeone in return for help I have been given I just don't understand can have sleep tabs in hospital but not at home I am going to try some antihistaminexx

Ennyl profile image
Ennyl in reply toTime_2_drink

Talk about sleep to doctor as he can advise correctly as so much we can't take with out meds. Hospital short term and not supposed to have sleepers long term, hope you sleep well tonight tho cos tomorrow is the beginnnibg of the new life your making for yourself by getting help and talking your troubles thru, am sure hoping u will wake up feeling able to get yourself all the help you need xx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toEnnyl

Hope so am now freezing can't win and in pain but hope for better things to come xxx

Is a motorhome out of the question? Most sites have EHUs now which would keep your oxygen going once you got there and all your facilities are onboard. We never went to rallys though we belong to both clubs and I still do. But I know that many rallys are held where mains electric is available.

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to

I think a motor home is out of reach would be great full for your knowledge of caravaning with oxygen sorry don't know if you n oxygen

in reply toTime_2_drink

My wife was on oxygen for while before she died, but that was 8 years ago now and there have been huge advances in what is available since then. The Caravan Club (now the Caravan and Motorhome Club) were a great help. For short trips the oxygen company delivered cylinders direct to the site as pre-arranged, small cylinders in the car saw us to the site. Towards the end of her life we stayed in log cabins and I just heaved her big clanging machine into the back of the car. People there were always happy to help me.

I'm not very good at 'tea and sympathy' Margaret, but if there is the slightest chance of you getting that caravan going, or better still swapping it for a motorhome, I'll do anything I can to help. :-)

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to

Thank you don appreciate all advice given

in reply toTime_2_drink

Which was your favourite area when you caravanned?

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to

Loved Northumberland cor bridge hexam also westerdale RIPON so many places so many good times thought we would have had years

in reply toTime_2_drink

Strewth! Carts Bog Inn, near Hexham has some happy family memories for me. That was back in the early 1960s when we were camping. Lovely area.

Have you ever thought that you might be fighting the wrong battles?

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to

Also like it around holy island last year won a meal at the Bamborough castle hotel

in reply toTime_2_drink

What had you to do to win that?

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to

Paid a pound for a raffle ticket. The prized where donated by local buisnesses

in reply toTime_2_drink

Ha ha, you got a bargain there alright. Does Mr T2D miss caravanning?

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to

Very much it was our social life feel so sad for him

in reply toTime_2_drink

Well why not ask Mr Google what's available to enable you to use oxygen in a touring caravan and stop bothering you with medical stuff. The oxygen company will almost certainly help as well. I know you're a fighter, that's the battle to fight to see off your depression, possibly the anxiety too. Did you keep your Camping and Caravanning Club membership?

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to

Yes we still members renewal due in May hopingsomeone on site can give me info on oxygeneither S tourer

in reply toTime_2_drink

Don't forget to renew then. Had a quick shufti on the Caravan Club forum and there's plenty of people carry on after oxygen is needed, there's some on this site too like Jan. It's the right time of the year as well and planning a trip is almost as enjoyable as going. Can I bring Midge to meet you on your first trip? :-)

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to

Of course you can would be most welcome we not in caravan club or would have looked on there forum will ask for advice on here as well thanks

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to

Need to get this pain and sweats sorted before we can go but afraid it won't happen and we don't get away

in reply toTime_2_drink

I'm suggesting that getting back in that van might go some way towards reducing the pain and sweating as well as the depression. If you set your mind on going you will go, you're that sort of person. Once there, those rallying folk are the friendliest and most supportive folk you'll find anywhere as you well know.

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to

Rally folk are but we will have to go to commercial sites I would think I am in a lather at the moment poor hubby freezing I got fan blowing full pelt

Badbessie profile image
Badbessie

Post when you want, we may not be able to give answers but we will listen.I am sure there are people who read but do not post who say to themselves that's me! In sharing how you feel you may help others. So keep posting.....take care.

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toBadbessie

Hopfully if I can get through this I can begin to help others have to hope at least. Take care

2greys profile image
2greys in reply toBadbessie

Very true, there are very likely many, many more "flies on the wall" reading these posts than those taking an active part on the forum. I don't always have the time to post, especially at the ends of the month when I have all the bookkeeping to do.

Bevvy profile image
Bevvy

I don't always reply to your posts. Mainly because I am not in too good a place at the moment either mentally or physically. BUT I always read your postings. Please continue to post. Am certainly not "sick" of your posts.

You are not in a good place and many of us understand what that is like. You have mentioned sleeping tablets- due to lack of sleep. My gp also won't give me sleeping tablets. She said she was concerned that there are times I need to wake due to breathing and doesn't want to risk my wellbeing with sleeping tablets. You also have mentioned taking mirtazapine. I am also on this. It should help with sleeping. In fact when I first started taking it I had issues with being woozy for much of the day until my body got used to it.

Hang in there and stay strong.

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toBevvy

Hi Bevvy sorry to hear that you are having problems like mine it is so difficult isn't it how yo get through each day thank you for reading my posts I know that I o post rather a lot but n all honesty I think it is one of few things that keep me going .I understand in some respects what GP are saying but they don't have to live like this the days are long enough without being awake nighttime .I have been taking Mitrazapan since January but it not helping with sleep and add to the fact that I sweat profusley day and night unable to cope hope things look up for you to and if you have any coping stratergies please share x

Bevvy profile image
Bevvy in reply toTime_2_drink

It's just a thought but I had problems with night sweats for a number of months. I spoke to my gp and on her recommendation I started taking HIGH doses of evening primrose oil. I took Boots is own brand a 1000mg and 500mg both together in the evening. It greatly reduced my night sweats. Check with your own gp before you take it in case it effects any of the meds you take but if ok nothing to,stop you trying it.

The other thing I think could help you is you are quite fixated on the oxygen you use. I know it is important that you keep it on but you need to remind yourself that you use it to protect your internal organs. NOT to help your breathlessness! Oxygen can't help with that. There are breathing exercises that can help with that.

Have you been offered Pulmonary Rehabilitation? Am aware you might not currently be well to do the course but where I live people who aren't well enough for the course can have a couple of physio sessions at home with a specialist physio.

I DO think if you felt more in control of your situation then you would overall feel better. Pulmonary Rehab could help,with that.

Am aware you ARE trying to take control back. What is happening with stair lift? That is one way of being in control! Try and view it as such. There are other ways you can be more in control and we can communicate when you are ready.

YOU need to be in control of disability. Not disability in control of you!

Gentle hugs.

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toBevvy

Thanks for all the advice Bevvy I will look into evening primrose oil it is not only the nights I get sweats at the momment I am sat with fan running it happens 24/7 months ago the community matron said she had referred me for Pr and there was talk about it happening in my home but not happened as yet then when I was in hospital it was mentioned again so who knows i was also going to be taught breathing excercises as yet have not in one way I want to go to the classes if possible but in another to scared to silly isn't it but I won't refuse any help just wondering if I would be able to because of my pain .The stairlift we have hired one from north east stairlifts I was wary of it at first and would not use it on my own but today I have gone upstairs myself on it small steps .We were pestered by acorn who just don't take no for a answerbthink they got the message now I would love to communicate with you and get better insight into gaining control xx

2greys profile image
2greys

Margaret, you WILL get to grips with it all. You will get used to it and you will figure out a routine that will suit you. You may find obstacles sometimes, but there is always a way around them without having to climb over them, a little thought rquired to do things in a different way is all it takes. Give yourself the time to accustom yourself to your new situation. Just think back to all those terrible fears you have had in the past, have any of them come true?, you are still here, so that can't be bad.

Try to achieve some small victories, by sorting out alternate ways of doing a task that is difficult to do at the moment, take your time and think about it before rushing in trying to do things the same way you have always done them in the past as that will lead to more frustration, anger and ultimately more depression. Starting off with simple little things first will help you gain the confidence that you obviously need. Remember "there is more than one way to skin a cat". (Sorry cat lovers)

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to2greys

Point taken I have just got to get myself moving again I'm afraid I am in the habit of getting out of bed and sitting in chair till back to bed because I have got scared of moving

Hi there do you know what you are so anxious about? Can you break it down into shorter bits instead of being overwhelmed by it. Why not have a good think about it and write it down in bullet point formula?

Breathing exercises have been mentioned to you before; have you looked at them yet? Give yourself little tasks like this to do and try and take your mind away from your anxiety. This is called the distraction technique. When you focus on anxiety it feeds on itself and before you know it has got out of hand.

I know you are in a bad state at the moment but try and think in the positive too. You have a loving husband and other family which is a lot more than some of us have. Imagine if you were trying to cope with this all on your own with no one visiting or caring about you. I wish you all the best.

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply to

I do realise I am lucky to have my husband and son and cannot imagine how I would survive without in fact one of my major fears is my husband dying many nights I touch his face yo see if he is breathing and I lay wondering if I took my oxygen of how long would I survive then I think of my son coming round and finding such a awful scene so you see I am trapped .I am going to keep trying I keep saying it but I can only try. I have ordered a self help book about anxiety recommended by pam 1952 and I am going yo give it my best. On Friday I am going to go to Teesside hospice all being well and hoping I can force myself out to take part in a course that is called being in charge best wishes

jabber profile image
jabber

Hi Margaret, the course at the hospice sounds like a great idea and I'm sure it will help.

I was going to say the same as Don. Why do you feel being on oxygen must put an end to your caravanning holidays? Is there any other reason that you can't continue? Many people do.

The joy of living in a 6 metre motorhome or caravan is that you're never more than a couple of paces from a comfy seat, the loo or your bed. It's ideal - though I know caravans are harder work, fetching and emptying water supplies and so on.

We've had a motorhome for 18 years now and I've been on oxygen for 9 of them. Since being on the oxygen we've continued to travel down to Spain and Portugal regularly, and last summer we went right up to Sweden. We also frequently travel around England and Wales and up to the north Scotland. We're off up there soon.

We didn't use to bother with hook-ups, or even camp sites, but now we need the hook-ups for my oxygen concentrator, the bipap and to recharge my mobility scooter, so we've had to be less adventurous about where we park for the night. But anything is better than having to give up our travelling holidays. We're members of both clubs though, which gives us lots of choice of sites throughout the UK.

You are doing a great job of fighting your anxiety. Everything you try is a giant step in the right direction. Keep on keeping on, and I hope soon you'll be back on your caravanning holidays. Perhaps we'll bump into each other!

All the best, Jan :-)

Fionafish profile image
Fionafish

Hello again, nobody is sick of your posts - sometimes this condition is just relentless and it is hard to see a positive future. You can always ring the Samaritans as they are here 24 hours a day for people in distress (you don't have to be suicidal) and you can talk for as long as you want at any time of the night. They won't give advice but will listen. I volunteered for them years ago before I went back to work full time and would really recommend it. The number is 116123. Thinking of you x

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toFionafish

I will give it some thought thank you I will x

Well done that man!!! I hope Margaret reads this and gives it much thought. Just having that goal would help her I'm sure.

bee6984 profile image
bee6984

Sending you my love and best wishes xx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply tobee6984

Thank you very welcome xx

Catnip profile image
Catnip

Greetings

There's nothing worse than being at the bottom of a big black hole, with the big black dog sitting on your head. I suspect that many of us here have been there (including me!) so you are in really good company. The one life line you do have is yourself, my dear. Have you tried any of the "old" remedies??

Exercise really _does_ help to lift one's mood, so even if it's not much, try to do something extra from the norm. It will also help your lungs. Double advantage there.

Relaxation tapes (or CDs or whatever) will help you to focus your mind away from your problems and take you away from where you're at. An audiobook will do the same.

Keeping a journal will show how you are coping (or not) over a period and will give you chance to put on paper how you're feeling and why.

Eat properly! Sleep well!!

All this probably needs to go with medication. Clinical depression is horrible but it's a medical condition. Medication can help to solve it. There's no point in suffering in silence when a pill a day will help you along your way. I've said it before; oxygen isn't "the end" -- it's a different way of living.

Live your life; live with COPD and depression; for God's sake, don't die of these conditions!!

Catnip

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toCatnip

Hi thanks for the mail you are right about the black dog and it sure is heavy I have ordered a book on anxiety as recommended by pam 1952 and I am looking forward to reading it .I am waiting and hoping that I get a return phone call today from the hospital psychiatrist I was to be seeing her on the ward today .I used to write a journal when I first came on oxygen I filled about 4excercise books .Today I was not going to get out of bed felt so low and afraid But. I made myself got dressed quick wash and here I am downstairs heart racing though Sats went down to 81 and heart rate 134 I don't know if you know but i have been referred to a program at Teesside hospice 2.30 hours a week for 4 weeks called be in charge it is basically gentle excersise and learning to cope emotions relaxation diet bit worried about going going to try though .Today I was going to stay in bed but I have got up and dressed take care 😷

Lilian226 profile image
Lilian226

Nobody is sick of your posts Margaret, we are so relieved to hear from you since your stay in hospital. It's good for you to tell someone how you really feel and your friends here want to help in any way they can, as you help others. Write whatever you want to and soon you will be writing 'I feel a bit better today'. Love Lilian xxxxxx

teakup profile image
teakup

Hi you are really strong although at the place where you are feels far from it l have been there with depression you just want to close your eyes but in time when you open them life will feel better .I going to say it takes time which you will hate to hear like I did but l took it hour by hour it was sheer desperation but it truly worked because l thought I would never smile again but the people on here are so caring and there for you you will smile again l promise big big hug x

rbroome684 profile image
rbroome684

All who are in the şame or similar know how you feel and want toto be here for you. Talking and having people who cate goods for you and üs. Outta always better when we know we aren't in this alone.

Some have good advice to pass on to you and some a good eat.

Keep talking and asking my friend.

Ralph

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply torbroome684

Thank you Ralph it is good to have people to share with who have been through the same or similar because otherwise just feel totally lost

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink

The place I'm at feels so lonley and truly hard to live in I am pleased that you have found your way out of it and yes you are right about time it does seem like it will never happen but it is good to know some people do get through it I am really struggling with my oxygen at the moment I don't know if it has just registered that it is for life or what else it could be x

undine profile image
undine

As there are many things I can no longer do - too long a list to put here - and it is no use saying to anyone 'snap out of it' etc. what I do and please take this as is - merely what I do - not an imperative that you should do the same - merely a 'how I cope' - when I have those feelings when some loss of my old life or old self overpowers me I have a little cry for myself and a little 'oh woe is me time' however long it takes then I kick my self up the backside remind myself that in the whole scheme of pain and misery I have much to be thankful for and yes there really are people in much more pain, sorrow and suffering than me and then thus remonstrating with myself - it passes. As I said not saying you should or even could do the same but hope that maybe at some time in the future - I have been living with this for four years now - you too may find yourself doing the same and finding that those feelings of loss have less power to overpower you than they do now. Take care and good luck. xxx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toundine

I know and I do try however the pain is undiscibable it really is and topped of by my fluctuating temperature becomes like a noose around my neck I will of course keep trying to ride through it but becomes wearisome to say the least xx

undine profile image
undine

sorry I meant to add I also try and think about ways I can improve my life hence at the moment I am exploring getting a power chair or electric wheelchair so that I might be able to go out on my own again occasionally, something I have been unable to do, as I live alone, for over two years, so as others have said finding ways to adapt to the new you and to improve your life helps a lot as well. xx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toundine

I hope you get the chair and can get out and about yourself I will keep my fingers crossed that you find what you are looking for xx

undine profile image
undine

on the physical side two tips that have helped me immensely when having a panic, breathing anxiety attack is to make a conscious effort to drop and relax my shoulders - this seems to make it then physically harder to do those awful gasps breath, and also to concentrate on the out breath rather than trying to control the in breath which can seem near impossible. Using both of these techniques.I am pleased to say I have not had a full blown panic attack for over 5 months now and I was getting them last year at least once a week which was hard being on my own. anyway again hope they might help - they have done wonders for me xxx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toundine

Thanks for that info glad it helped you xx

undine profile image
undine

thank you re the chair am just waiting now to arrange the right sort of ramps then hope to go ahead and get the chair xx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toundine

Hop it won't take to long for you xx

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply toTime_2_drink

Sorry missed Out the E many hope xx

sarcoid1234 profile image
sarcoid1234

Dear Time2, your posts and the replies you receive show to us how very caring people are. In that respect you have done a service to us all, and I thank you.

A friend came to me today for a coffee. I had no idea that she has/had been suffering from anxiety for a few years, due to something that happened to her a few years ago. She told me that her doctor recommended getselfhelp.co.uk which gives information about Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Mindfulness for anxiety. (The videos page takes a little while to download). You might like to look over the information. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is well known, and can also be done with a group of people through; you could ask your NHS contact or ask your doctor.

I myself, a year or so ago, had a problem with crying if I was just slightly stressed and was referred to ‘Silver Cloud’ through the NHS see nhs.uk/Conditions/online-me... I did on-line modules each week, and it did help.

There is also Emotional Freedom Technique – there are lots of websites on the internet. It involves tapping with your finger the acupuncture points on your face and chest. It is very easy to do, and might help temporarily.

All the advise others have given you about using your campervan are so good; I envy you the chance to do that, so please do try, especially as the nice weather is now starting. I don’t think anyone mentioned a portable oxygen concentrator, which charges from the electricity and then has a battery so you can take it out and about with you. If you don't already have one I would think that one can be loaned to you by the company that delivers your oxygen. Some people I have read on this site are given 4 small compressed oxygen cylinders which would also help you get out and about. You could perhaps take your static concentrator that you use at home on holiday with you for use in the campervan.

I hope you feel very much better soon. A hot water bottle might help when you have the pain, although your doctor should surely have given you something to stop the pain.

Love from Christine

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink in reply tosarcoid1234

Hello Christine thank you for the information I will Definitley take a look at t It would be nice if we could get out in our caravan at some point Not allowed to take concentrator from home Unfortunatley I have just had a really awful episode with the pain I have oramorph and coedine from Gp Unfortunatley it barely touches it I do have a hot water bottle and also a wheat bag I am pleased you got help for your problem .Love Margaret

maggiewhiteley profile image
maggiewhiteley

Hi Time2, Your oxygen company should supply oxygen whilst you are on holiday if it is in the uk, just ask them. Hope you are taking care of yourself.

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink

Thanks Maggie things need to change drastically with pain before we can go away but worth finding out about

devauden profile image
devauden

Please look forward, and when you are able to get out a bit I am sure you will have the possibility of a portable oxygen concentrator then you will be able to continue with the caravan outings. Most companies that supply home oxygen will also supply to a hotel, b&b, camp site etc. So start thinking about where you want to go next and let us know where you decide to go.

Time_2_drink profile image
Time_2_drink

Thanks yes perhaps it is time to look forward hopefully in the not to distant future we will get away 😷

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