Good morning all I hope this finds you in a good place.
I hope that you don't mind me offloading this on you but I can't think of anyone else that might understand.
Physically I am not feeling too bad at the moment had an infection last week so taking amoxicillin although still coughing its bearable.
However mentally I am in a dark place, even though things are pretty much under control at the moment I still hate getting up with a cough, what I'm afraid of is I know that in a week or so I will be back to normal spending must of the day clearing my chest. I know some of you guys have lived with this condition most of your adult lives where I was diagnosed a couple of months ago. I am really struggling to find any hope for the future any light at the end of the tunnel and to be honest I don't know if I can face life going forward fighting Bronchiectasis everyday. I am obviously not as strong as most of you I've had a great 65 years, I have three wonderful daughters and 3 of the best granddaughters anyone could wish for I see them all several times a week but even thinking of them no longer lifts my mood. My GP put me on antidepressants yesterday we shall see!
Sorry again for this post and if you feel that I'm feeling sorry for myself then I guess you are right.
Take care
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caerleon15
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hope the tablets work for you soon we all have off days just take one day at a time .It takes time for people to get their head round being diagnosed but you will get there in the end and there is loads of help and support on here . I was diagnosed 2 year ago with serve emphysema at age 38 big shock to start with but im getting use to it now .
I don't think for a moment you are feeling sorry for yourself, and we all experience dark moods when our illness gets the better of us. You do sound as if you need medical help to lift your mood, just remember anti depressants will take 2 or 3 weeks before you feel the benefit, I hope they do the trick.
Mean while I know it's easy to say, and hard to do but you must keep making the effort. Try and keep your mind occupied with things that make you happy. Do Not spend hours dwelling on your illness. Get yourself out in the sunshine. Explain to your wonderful family how you feel, a few treats are needed.
I hope you feel better soon, and you know where we are when you need to talk.
You sound as if you have a close family. I am certain they would be most upset that you have not shared with them how you are feeling, Close Family's are there to help each other, give your daughters that chance, they won't regard it as a burden.
Hullo, Caerlyon, I really felt for you when I read your letter. I have been through the sort of thing that you describe. I had numerous infections through bronchiectasis. Thanks to a long term antib, Azithromycin, I have been free of illness (touch wood) I think you need to return to your GP to discuss referral to a consultant who could prescribe this antb. for you.
It is possible that the depression is caused by your illness. On the other hand, there could be other reasons. Coming here is a big step forward to talk is a great thing to do. I do get down myself but generally find that I can pull myself out of it. I am hoping that someone will come forward to offer better advice than this. Just remember you aren't alone. Love Pergola X
I have been seeing a consultant privately and now I have a GP referral. I have discussed the long term solution but at the moment both are reluctant to take this path.
Thanks again I feel such a fool knowing that there a users of this site who are suffering far more than I am.
Please bear in mind that some of us maybe physically worse off but we have ways to control it. With depression it's a totally different scene and I really feel for you. You are not a fool in any way, shape or form.
Caerlyon, you are anything but a fool. Dont decry yourself (says one who is really good at doing that)You needed to come on and release your feelings. All the best X
Hi Caerleon, you really sound like myself a couple of years ago. Depression is a terrible beast that feeds your fears but, once your medication kicks in, you will feel so much better.
I know we don't like burdening our families but, they pick up when our spirits are low anyway.
Choose the one you feel you can talk to and tell them your getting really down. They will tell the others for you.
Getting out and about while your meds do their work is important.
Keep coming on here when you feel low, because it helps to get it off your chest.
The best thing my Doctor said to me after months of the worst episode I'd ever suffered was " It will get better."
Casper is right, it does better, depression comes in waves. I think of mine as a black cloud. As you start to get better, a little light will start to filter through, then a bit more each day.
As for your lung problems, there are ways to make it bearable, as many who come here will testify.
For now, just take one day at a time. It is easier that way.
Thank you for your kind words, I think part of the problem is that I am coming to the end of my antibiotics and right now physically I feel good I produce no mucus and cough very little. I know that next week sometime I will be back to being a mucus factory with a cough.
Not necessarily. drink plenty of water, take vitamin C and eat plenty of fruit and vegetables.
I got up in a terrible mood today, it felt like PMT, which I haven't for many years, due to surgery when I was 36.
The cure would believe it, was a marmite sandwich! With 50/50 wholemeal bread. A nice dose of Vitamin B which lifted my mood.
The phrase "You are what you eat" is very true.
Positive thinking works too, say to your self I will be well, not "oh dear I am going to catch a cold" Such thoughts have a tendency to become self fulfilling prophecies.
Hello Caerleon, depression is no laughing matter ( sorry! ) seriously it can become overwhelming and sometimes we need a little help to lift us out of it.
I hope the pills work for you and you feel better soon 😃
I'm sure I will get through this mainly because of the support of good folks like yourself, by the way your comment made me laugh thanks again
Hi I am sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. There is a depression site on here to if you want to visit it. Look under my communities at the top, click on browse other communities and type it in. It is called Action on Depression. x
Hi caerleon: I am sorry you are feeling so down. I believe a lot of us experience depression from Time to time. You may need to try different meds to help with this....sometimes takes time to find the right one. It is pretty recent you were diagnosed so, of course, your emotions are still grappling with it. I certainly understand because I go in and out of depression and know how it feels. but when a good day pops up...oh do I enjoy it...when a bad one..I say this feeling,shall soon pass. Hang in there and enjoy your family. I live thousands of miles from my kids and one grandchild and haven't seen them in almost two years. i am 75 but think like 50!! LOL. Hope you can get a,med that helps.
Hi Caerleon. I second everything that people have said here. Really good replies. Be careful over the next few weeks - I think sometimes, on anti depressants it can feel worse before it gets better. Can you give yourself an aim? Perhaps a small exercise target? Something to try and focus on doing every day for a few weeks - something small but an achievement. I don't mean to lecture but it's just a suggestion. (It has made me feel a bit better since I was diagnosed with severe COPD 4 months ago - and felt really bleak and scared about it). I'm sure you know this also, but if you get where you're feeling really bad please remember you can talk to people like the Samaritans too, at any time. They will not judge you or think you're being silly in any way. People do care about you - be kind to yourself x piggi
Hi piggi thank you for your suggestion its much appreciated. The support I have received is very kind, thoughtful and uplifting. I know people care about me I have a wonderful family that contact me every day to see how I feel and we are expecting another granddaughter at xmas there are so many positives in my life and really there is just one horrible negative I have to come to terms with.
You guys have made me realise that there is life after diagnosis
Don't apologise. You have a perfect right to express how you feel - and should do so. I am SO sorry that you are so very low. You were wise to discuss it with your doctor. Give the medication a chance. And distract yourself by any means available - thinking is NOT for you at present! If it helps, remember that your local U3A branch offers many interest groups which are not physically demanding, and it's cheap. Don't wait to be inspired - this is your opportunity to try anything and everything!! Good luck, and God bless.
I have been through depression in the past through different circumstances and the last episode was really really bad. I tried to hide it but it was hard and I told my mum who said that I will get through it. I really didn't believe her it was that bad but I thank God that it did lift. At the time it feels impossible but if you have in the back of your mind that it will eventually get better....that is something to hold onto. Depression is horrible and robs you of joy and happiness but I trust that you will feel better in time,
Hi Happychicken, thanks for supportive words, my mood it varies day by day yesterday my chest was quite good and I felt optimistic today my chest is bad and I feel low.
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Thanks for missing me
Excited about new DR., yet still depressed about all this Copd stuff. Will depression get better...ever?? :(
Zip it!
A flower for you
