It's been one of those days today...rattling chest and gasping for breath...makes me seriously cross...want to be doing stuff not sitting about listening to that stupid machine bleep its alarm when I don't breath fast enough...I swore at it today actually...'I'm breathing as fast as I can you stupid fuxxing machine'...it just bleeped more loudly.
I'm experimenting to see if the pulse thing really does make the battery last for five hours...
When I looked it up on the net there were masses of photos of happy smiley people...grinning like loons as they sat on beaches and decks of ships or played gaily with small children...if I throw Millie's ball for her once I'm knackered...laughing is a bit iffy actually 'cos it makes me cough and it's the kind of cough that once it starts it honestly doesn't know when to stop.
Then I'm groping for the tissues and hacking away while hoping I don't wet myself...
Mind you, I did bite the bullet when we went to Tesco's and bought a packet of Tena Lady Pads...almost needed a bank loan to pay for them though. Those Always pads are totally useless...especially the sort with a sticky bit to hold them in your knickers...tried them and the sticky bit didn't stick to the knickers but latched itself firmly to my ladies garden instead...was quite painful actually.
Don't know about you but I get through an awful lot of tissues...need them for when my nose runs after I've used the Nebuliser...when I sneeze...and when my lungs decide to produce barrel loads of disgusting gunk...haven't quite reached the stage where I spit on the pavement...yet.
So we have dainty little packets of cheap tissues on practically every surface so they're near and handy and a big box of so-called Mens Tissues...are they bigger 'cos men have bigger noses or because they have more snot?
And there's a little packet in my pocket and two in my handbag...just to be on the safe side. Along with a reliever inhaler which the Consultant told me I ought not to be using 'cos of having the Nebuliser...'Do pursed lip breathing instead' she said...well, I do but sometimes only a couple of puffs of the inhaler work. Anyway...what does she know...bet she's never struggled for a breath in her life. And she wears her trousers too short...you know...when the hem ought to be almost covering your shoes or boots...hers stop at the top of her shoes...just looks weird.
I think the kitchen cupboards are a bit much...I did manage to varnish the big cupboard today before I collapsed in a soggy heap...but I've stencilled them with ivy and butterflies...which is why I needed to add a coat of varnish...and it looks slightly sort of over the top...bet if you had a bed in there you'd be spending half the night counting how many butterflies there are...then you'd be starting on the feckin' ivy leaves...it'd drive you quite crackers.
Honestly...being ill and wetting myself wasn't on my life plan.
Oh dear Vashti, I wonder if the varnish fumes got to you. I got caught with those horrid Always pads, very painful when they catch you.
I find the supermarket own make pads are OK and about half the price, not the value ones but the next ones up. Did you know you can get pads on prescription over here?
I had some once, but nearly fainted with embarrassment when a young man delivered them and they had incontinence pads emblazoned on the side.
Since then I am a lot better due to losing weight and exercises but still have accidents when I cough or laugh.
Sorry to hear you are having a rotten day,could the paint and varnish have brought this on? I had to smile at the ladies garden,Lol at least you have one,I have Hypothyroidism which causes the loss of body hair,thank goodness only the garden and underarms are affected with me.
I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you,enjoy your beautiful garden.
Oh Vashti I love your posts and this site too....where else could we discuss spitting, incontinence and lady gardens and laugh too...the realities of living with a lung condition.
I have tissues dotted around the house too, and up my sleeves and down my bra....I wear trousers otherwise they would be up my knicker leg like in the old days.
Sorry you have had a frustrating day....nothing worse than sitting and seeing all the jobs you would like to do. I have sweet corn that need planting and I am so annoyed that I can't do it....I am shutting my eyes to the dust and the weeds.
Hi Vashti, sorry you are having a rough day.maybe varnish agravates the airways, also we have a very high pollen count which will not help. Are you the same ? I love the variety of topics on the site. Love Margaret x
I really thought I was having a bad day yesterday and having not slept all night as gasping for breathe but reading your post has somehow shown me I am normal with the tissues everywhere! Let's hope today is better for all of us x
Sorry you are feeling so wretched. With the cough and the gunge , has your doctor not recommended a course of anti biotics. ? I started some at the weekend after over a week of being very breathless, earache, IBS type symptoms and falling asleep after eating a small amount. Apart from the earache I am beginning to feel a bit better . I don't have the added burden like you of having to lug the oxygen around. Hope you will visit your doctor if you don't feel any better soon,or start your emergency meds if you have them.
Goodness me vashti what a pickle you are in. Fumes would not be good for you but then you are only trying to live your life as best you can - what is a girl to do? I said "ouch" out loud when I read about the sticky things that stick to you as I get the same thing. Eye watering is what I call it. We buy the cheapest tissues from any supermarket as Pete goes through them at an alarming rate. I also have the small packets in bags etc. just in case.
I truly hope you feel better very soon and wishing you well as always.
Lots of love and better breathing. xxxxxxx
Vashti - not sure you should have been varnishing!! It finishes my husband off - we went to the doctors surgery last week and the decorators there were using low odour paint (couldnt they have warned us???) - I could hardly even detect a smell but he was completely floored by it! Just a thought.
I totally agree - how can you listen to a woman with trousers that are too short. Isn't it funny who we categorise people. I remember going to see a special education needs woman for my daughter who I could hardly listen to let alone believe any of her rubbish - primarily because she was so scruffy!!
I hope you have a much better day today and keep posting. I may not comment but I do love to hear your ramblings. With much love and every kind wish, TAD xxx
Sometimes a good bout of feeling sorry for yourself can be cathartic, but mostly it don't, so put your chair in the back doorway and take a very quiet look at your garden until something with four legs moves. Very calming. I, too, get the nose runs and the worry whether the toilet is close enough or not, usually when I've been getting very low on breath, so it's not too difficult to plan ahead. A little learning,,,,,,, in Japan, little kids are taught that a 'ladies garden' is a leaf or leaves. Not quite sure why I remember that !
Vashti, sometimes I would swear you are describing a day in my life! Between the blasted oxygen, paper hankies everywhere around the house, up sleeves, in my bra, hoping I make it to the loo in time (these flaming 'pee pills' I have to take everyday are a nightmare), coughing like it's never going to stop. Feeling SO frustrated at not being able to do things that once were so easy! Everyday life now I suppose but not what I had planned either. I think seeing the funny of most things helps.
Have you ever had a pulmonary nurse rather than that consultant of yours? You could ask to be referred. first, the nurse is usually a woman and would be more intuitive that your doc (even if doc is a woman too because do is plunged into science and has forgotten all about women!) Second, because she know a lot more about the niggles, teh fright, the shortness of breath when laughing and so much more. She can advise you and even make you smile and give you the confidence that you can actually improve your condition. The pulmonary murse can refer you to a physiotherapist to mange that clutter in your lungs. I have a lovely friend BEcky for a nurse. She is so kind that I enquired if she were married! She is and has a daughter and a son, the daughter is a little toe rag she told me. She is great to hav around because she is so encouraging. I wish you had a Becky around to help you. YOu could always ask because it behoves ( big word) a doctor to provide this service for you.
This pulmonary nurse ( Nother one who was just as nice and sympathetic) referred me to the pulmonary team counsellor wehn I was so deperately ill and so desperate because my wife had been taken to the Maudsley mental hospital and I knew it would be for a long time. I cried, coughed and got TB. But the counsellor was so delicate with my feelings and helped me along, told me it could take six weeks or as long as I wished. I am so grateful for her who wedged me out of my depression.
I must admit that I am grateful for the consultant (an Iranian gentleman) whoasked teh microbiologist ahta was wrong with me and found I had the presence of TB (I nearly collapsed whn I learned that and thought this was the end of me) I cried more, and got this little pill to cope with illness and my wife's illness (Mertazapine). these people did pull me through until I was bold enough to say: " Now I can do it and I am going to the gym!
Oh sweet Vashti, I feel for you and wish you could find a kind pulmonary nurse, even if it is just to talk about sticky tampons! Sometimes you do need one (Nurse, not tampon!!!) I feel for you and hope you will find someone to help you, you have a right to that. Mic
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Fed up 
'Fur coat and no knickers' (2)
A eureka moment
