Hi everyone, I do not write many posts, as I do not have a very good Internet connection, but I do read them as often as I can and find it helpful to know that I am not alone.
I feel alone right now. I feel picked on and harassed and discriminated against. Ever since my neighbour moved in next door, she has been making many spurious or false allegations and complaints to my landlord; for example, she complained about the pizza delivery boy who mistakenly went to her door, before seeing his mistake and coming to mine; she also repeatedly accused my dog of barking, when in fact it is the neighbours dog, whome she can see from her window, mine having died six months ago; and these are just the tip of the ice-burg. Each time she makes a complaint, I receive a nasty letter from my landlord accusing me or anti-social behaviour. It upsets me greatly and my symptoms become much worse. I am a COPD suffer and am on oxygen 24/7.
I am also a co2 retentive and have to wear a bipap mask at night.
Her latest allegation is that my garden is not being maintained. Obviously I cannot do strenuous work in the garden, but I still potter about as much as I can. It is a very small private garden, with mature trees and bushes on the boundary. I think it's very pretty and have had many flowers this year, creating a haven for the wildlife, especially the poor bees.
However, because of my neighbour's comments my landlord has now decided that they need to carry out a full house inspection, to include the garden, interior and driveway to ensure that the whole is well maintained to an acceptable standard and the property is in good decorative order and clean
They initially gave me three days notice, but then the housing agent was ill, so it was moved to a later date. The whole thing has upset me greatly. I am terribly worried about my health which has worsened again. My panic attacks are back and the blinding headaches and attacks of breathless less are the worst ever. Today I could not even get out of bed. Just as I had thought things were settling down and I was doing a little more each day, after a bad winter. I cannot cope with it. I live with my 16 year old son and my daughter is back from university for the summer, although I do have friends who come round to help me and make sure I am ok, I feel I am alone in this, that no one understands how hard it is to just go to the bathroom sometimes, and scary too.
I desperately need some support. This is not the first time this has happened. The neighbour made exactly the same comment the year before last. When they did the assessment the landlord said everything was fine. All that fuss had been foe nothing, but it still made me ill. I would have thought that in light of that that the landlord might have realised that it is just my neighbour causing trouble again.
I am sure they should be offering me help, instead of making my life unbearable. I am now seriously ill again, I am sure my CO2 levels are up again. I am scared and I don't know what to do. I do not feel safe here or able to go through all this again.
I am sorry for the long rant, but I really need some support as I think it's discrimination. Nobody else is forced to comply with unscheduled house inspections on such a flimsy pretext. They have not even stated the exact reasons for it, so I don't know exactly what I have done wrong with the garden or what they expect.
Anyway, thank you so much for listening. If anybody can think of anything which might
help, I would be so very grateful.
Keep well all. X
Written by
Kelda
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Firstly keep calm, allow the inspection and ask for a meeting with the landlord face to face,. Repeat what you have put in this post, and try and get the landlord on your side, and ask for assistance to rectify the situation with your neighbour.
Why isn't your son trying to help with the neighbour?
As well as face to face with the landlord get the neighbour in on it too,she might not be so brave then. but make sure you have someone else there with you. I do hope this is resolved rather sooner than later.
My heart goes out to you! had two whole years of neighbour harrassment, discrimination, accusations, etc., with the police showing up every week....luckily, I was not ill then, as this was some years ago, but it absolutely ruined our family life...I was a single Mum of two boys who are racially mixed, so you can imagine the name calling I got!! but, this doesn't help you - what I want to say is you need to speak to your landlord at length you need to write down your illness, your symptoms, your medical situation, etc., etc.....he needs to know. Also, you need to inform the neighbour that you will not put up with the hassle any more and something official will have to be done about it. TRY not to fall into the bad guy position...that's what I did and kept hiding, and not speaking to them, etc., as though I had done something wrong. You don't have to have rows with them, but they have to see you are strong and will not put up with this c--ap any more!!!! Of course this is making you ill...any kind of stress will and this is why you have to explain everything to your landlord and show him how ill it makes you. KEEP A DIARY of what your neighbour odes and says. Oh dear, I am rambling, but just want you to try and be strong, not afraid, and even some help from your doctor, etc., would not go amiss. I so wish you luck and if you want to talk more, go on the private message bit and I will check it ....sending you lots of thoughts and good wishes.
Louisiana, what a really good reply to Stone. You sound very feisty and a woman after my own heart. As I said to Stone it is a real pity that we can't meet up as we, I think, could be very useful to each other. Cheers and hope you are feeling well. Lovely to read comments like yours. Take care, Juney.
thanks Juney! you've made me smile. I can be feisty (especially on behalf of someone else) although I did spend years allowing myself to be walked over, but I won't bore you with that! It would be fun to meet up with everyone, too bad that can't happen. But, it's lovely to get to know you all online...I never in a million years thought I would be conversing with people on a computer (don't forget, when I was growing up there wasn't even the word computer in our language - that'll tell you how ancient I am! Thankfully, I'm on my last week of antibiotics....I keep getting these blasted infections, but am feeling a lot better today. Yippee!!!!! You take care....I'll keep a watch out for you
Hello Kelda, I'm so so sorry you are having all this trouble and worry. When you are not well. Stress is a terrible thing when you have COPD.When stressed my breathing and levels go haywire. There must be somewhere you can go for help and advise. I'm sure someone will come on and be able to help. No apologies needed for a rant. If it helps then rant away. Does us good to release the pent up frustration, anger, hurt and unhappiness. Hope things improve soon. Take care xx
A number of things you can do. Study the wise words written here. Google neighbour harassment. I haven't done that myself. Ring the local council, consult the police, CAB, pool what has been said to you. The GP is a must if it affects your health. You should have the freedom to move around your house and garden. This sort of thing is too common in built areas. Personally I think these people are sick and need to be sorted somehow. Big hugs and love from Pergola xx
I am so sorry sweetheart you are having to deal with this horrid bully. Take a look at this link from the CAB. It seems to me the racial harassment alone will be taken very seriously by your local authority/councillor. Many solicitors also do a free session where you could get some clarification of the best way to deal with this. I agree with Louisiana, as hard as it is you have to stay strong and show this person you are not going to be bullied in this way.
I am saddened that your neighbor has such an empty life that they cant leave others alone to lead theirs!
I am concerned for you people can be so unfair and nasty,try to stay calm and not let it get to you too much. Get in contact with your local authority to try and get them to support you and help you out. I suggest you also get an advocate may be Age uk could help or another charity in your area. have a friend or family member with you when they come to look at your house and garden. Best wishes to you Irene X
1st im so sorry your having all this c,rap and on oxygen and b,bap , this sounds to me like a picking session pick on the weakest why don't you, im glad you have some family and friends but its you whats ill and facing this , your neighbour sounds a right bully to you who is very ill , p,haps thay lead a very sad life and thay get there kicks on picking on the least able, do as stone and lousianna says and hold on for the inspection , stay calm even if you feel like blowing a fuse and avoid the neighbour till its sorted and let of steam on hear to us , your neighbour sounds a right one so come on hear and get it all out .thers a saying silence is golden so silent to the neighbour and the frustration and anger to us , look after yourself luv xxx
Hi Kelda, you are in such an awful situation, my heart goes out to you. Is there anyone who could speak to your neighbour calmly and let her know what this stress is doing to your health ? Can you get a nurse or doctor from your medical practice to do a home visit and see what they can for your breathlessness and panic attacks ? I don't live in the UK so am not sure about the legal rights of tenants etc. , but please take the advice given by the others. Please reach out to someone who can help - maybe citizen's advice bureau. I hope a solution can be found and that you get the help you need soon.
Hi kelda, I really feel for you having to put up with this. My neighbour had breathing and mobility problems. I contacted social services to tell them he wasn't coping. They helped him get rehoused with the council and sorted his money out for him.
If you were well, I'd say stay put and fight back, but because it's affecting your health, it isn't worth the hassle. They're not worth it.
My aunt lives in some high rise flats and they're smashing. They have up to 3 bedrooms and lifts. Maybe there is somewhere like that you could go to with your kids? Get someone to ring social Services for you. I'm sure they could sort something out for you. You don't need this crap.
Keep us informed how you go on won't you? If you want to vent, or just chat, there's always someone online with a listening ear. xx
It certainly would be a good idea to write a letter to the Citizens Advise Bureau laying out all the info that you gave in your post. Even though postage is dear it is probably cheaper than the physical cost of trying to go there. They can send a visitor out to people who cannot visit them. I am sure they will tell you just where you stand on dealing with this spiteful neighbour. Regards Rib
Frankly I think your Landlord is making too much out of very frivolous accusations, but this does not help you. Please make sure you diarise any altercations with this neighbour, and make sure someone is with you during the inspection if at all possible. When you have got through this ordeal, I would consider approaching the neighbour, again with someone with you and asking her what her issues are. If you cannot reason with her and the harassment persists I would consider a restraining order, I am so sorry this is happening to you, it is bad enough for us on a good day xx
Hello Kelda, sorry you are having a bad time with your neighbour. They appear quite vindictive over trivialities that are not your fault. This could constitute discrimination or victimisation of disabled which is a criminal offence. As for the garden maybe your local social services could advise on help for this or Age Uk as already mentioned. Obviously they know you are disabled because you use ambulatory oxygen the onus is on your Landlord to discuss this with you and try to make adaptations for the garden & home to be maintained on the grounds of disability. Make sure all discussions have a witness on your behave present, keep copies of written letters. Don't let this harm your health seek medical backing too as soon as possible. As for the dog business, it's classed as a noise issue which the council has to deal with, perhaps you should contact them to investigate in order to prove it is not your dog. This sounds too much to undertake if you are feeling low, so maybe your family could help as well. The only other option is to consider moving which is just as stressful.I don't know what else to say but hope all our replies on the site help you to consider your best options to change this nasty situation you are in. Every best wish for a speedy resolution so you can get on with your life peacefully.
Hi kelda. That is not much left for me to say, you have had the most brilliant advice on this site, I do agree though you should speak to your landlord, he does need to hear this situation from your side, your health how it affects you, and defiantly how your neighbour is affecting your life on a daily basis, evidence of your illness to show him, I can't understand why he is taking her word for all this and inspecting your home without good reason, is there any free legal advice you could get, it seems to me you sound like a very nice person and you are ill , which makes you very vulnerable and that person next door knows this and is a bully, I really wish you luck on all this as no one should have to live this way, let us know how you get on Angse
I would look at mediation between you and your neighbour as that is were all the problems seem to be. Your landlord and neighbour have to be made aware of your conditions and limits. I wish you well.
All previous replies offer great advice. Reading your letter reminds me of a time when I had a terrible boss, who bullied me for a year. Your neighbour is a bully. Her accusations are ridiculous ( complaining about a dog you don't have). You share a landlord, write to him/ her about this behaviour. It's not in their best interests to have a bullying tenant. This person may see you as someone they can pick on easily. Go to your doctor, the CAB. If they get in your face, phone the police. They will give you an incident number and will very likely offer to go around to talk to your neighbour( this worked for me recently, haven't heard a peep from my terrible neighbour since). You can use this number in communication with your landlord. This may seem harsh and a bit manipulative: but play on your ill health to doctors/ police/ landlords. But you are not a victim- start getting angry about this. Be assertive with your terrible neighbour. Don't let things happen to you- get out there and do something about it. KEEP A DIARY- I wish I had done this myself ( I would be sitting on compensation pay for constructive dismissal if I did). Bullies eat away at your confidence/ physical and emotional well- being. Fight back and all the best of luck darling.
Before being medically retired I worked briefly for the housing department of the local council. Please speak to your local one, they are there to help and are well aware of private landlords, this type of problem too. Also speak to social services, if need be get a referral from your GP. In all likelihood you will be allocated what is called a case-worker who will take all this on-board. If you continue to have problems just give the case-worker any letter or ring them and they will deal with it. All I can say is that most if not all are lovely people who want to help.
Hello Kelda,this is atrocious behaviour.Get in touch with the Citizens Advice Bureaux and they will help you.Good luck.D.
Hi Kelda,I do feel for you,you really don't need that sort of thing to deal with.Our friends have given you some excellent advice,so I won't add anymore.Just want to wish you well,& keep strong!
Love & hugs Wendells xxx.
I dont know where you are but ring the local council as they should have something set in place for this sort of thing and be able to arrange a meeting with you, the landlord, your neighbour and a mediator
The mediator is the key here they will arrange a place for you all to meet and support you through everything and even if the council dont do it themselves they will know someone who does
It dosnt matter if you are not a council tenant......stay calm and confident as your going to have some control over this by contacting them but if you try do deal with it alone it will just stress you out......i also think you may think about getting in touch with adult social services you need a support worker
Hi Kelda. So sorry to hear about all the harassment that you're getting. There is good advice been given on here. DO keep a diary of every incident, however small. DO get in touch with the council. DO get a letter from your Doctor, and if all that fails -DO get a retraining order against her. You DO NOT have to put up with this! I don't know which area you live in, but the authorities in my area act very quickly in cases like this? Your "neighbour" (to be polite) sounds a bit stupid. How can she think your dog barks - when you don't have one? Duh!
Hi Kelda, firstly are you certain that the house inspection is due to your neighbour's complaints - have you been told that it is specifically for this reason? I ask because I was living in private rented accommodation until 3 years ago and a "full house inspection, to include the garden, interior and driveway to ensure that the whole is well maintained to an acceptable standard and the property is in good decorative order and clean" was carried out every year or two - as I believe is usually the case where you have rented the property through an estate agent.
Whether or not the agent finds fault with anything in the house, this is probably a good time to have a rethink about how and where you live. I went on the council list when I went on oxygen - I was in a very large and draughty house situated on a steep incline and felt that as my condition progressed things would likely get more difficult. I didn't move in a rush - I took my time and waited for 'the right place' to come up - a tiny bungalow situated near a main road with good transport links, a supermarket nearby etc. It is a quarter of the size of my old place - but so easy to look after (and has a level access shower with plenty of space for a seat etc).
If you have no desire to move, then try looking at your home with fresh eyes and get help from the occupational therapist re getting your home made more 'user friendly'.
Hope all goes well with the inspection and you can breathe a sigh of relief! We will alll be waiting to hear how you get on, best wishes, P.
I was about to post something similar to the first part of Parvati's post .I have heard that " letting agents "
sometimes carry out routine , periodic property inspections as part of the lease/rental agreement . You obviously " passed " the previous inspection with flying colours so I would try not to worry too much .
Your small garden sounds lovely........pity the same can't be said for your neighbour !
Really hope that you are able to resolve the difficulties .
I feel for you I know what its like having neighbours from hell.
Does your landlord own the house next door, I would go and see your GP explain how ill this is making you then go and see you local councillor and try and get a council house.
Sounds like if you have a local Health Authority responsible for maintaining properties and another for protecting elder and/or ailing citizens from harassment (we have one such agency here in the States...), sounds like you should contact them and remove the problem from the landlord's hands and/or judgement. If this has been going on for as long as it sounds like, it's time for it to stop. No if's, ands or buts....
Thank you all for your helpful comments. I feel overwhelmed to know that you are all there and support me. I have contacted my drs and they have written letters in support. I have also written to the landlord myself. It is not a routine inspection, if it was I would not mind so much, it is definitely due to my neighbour. It is hard to keep your strength up when you feel so ill, but I take on board all the thins you all have suggested and will try and get someone to be here and also contact CAB , I did so once before, but they were of little help. Some very good advice here. I cannot express how grateful I am, and I feel stronger already. Thank you so much. I will let you know how it goes.
Good for you Kelda. I hope you'll show your children all your great repies so they can remind you & support you in keeping your pecker up.
Some great replies. You have.
Keeping notes with dates is very good idea.
Can you ring the BLF helpline? 03000 030 555 cost of a local call, they're available 9-5 on weekdays I believe.
They have health experts also counsellors plus benefits advisors. I'm sure they would want to support a lung sufferer in getting help.
I wish you strength. It sounds as though there is something seriously wrong with your neighbour. Either sick or just plain nasty. Bullies always sniff out the weakest to target.
It's a sad fact that just as there are some truly wonderful people around there are also some truly nasty ones.
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you've made me smile. I can be feisty (especially on behalf of someone else) although I did spend years allowing myself to be walked over, but I won't bore you with that! 
worried sick waiting for outcome of atos and the decison maker
Wanted some sparkle.
Being A Retainer of CO2...
Views on this isolating stuff please .
