Typist howlers.: Probably fake, but... - Lung Conditions C...

Lung Conditions Community Forum

56,239 members66,864 posts

Typist howlers.

eightyplus profile image
11 Replies

Probably fake, but some seem quite possible under the circumstances.

Actual writings in Mpumalanga (province in South Africa) Hospital Register

1. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only 11kgs weight gain in the

past three days.

5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last

night.

6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year

7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. She is numb from her toes down.

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

15. The skin was moist and dry.

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

22. The patient refused autopsy.

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

Written by
eightyplus profile image
eightyplus
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
11 Replies

that give me a laugh there eighty ,nice one,:) xxx

jools profile image
jools

Oh Eightyplus that has really cheered me up, made me laugh out loud, thanks :) Julie

Suzy6 profile image
Suzy6

Enjoyed those. Lighthearted way to the end of my day. Nite nite, sleep well.

pergola1 profile image
pergola1

A light moment before I go to bed -- sleep tight. xx

DozyDormouse profile image
DozyDormouse

Had to laugh silently. Sounded like muttley. Shh he's asleep. Dozy :) x

Jacky1950 profile image
Jacky1950

Thanks for the laugh

Offcut profile image
Offcut

:p

Loved it,what a beauty! Thanks for sharing xxx

Oh eightyplus, I laughed so much I ended up having a coughing fit and had to use my inhaler. I THINK it did me good...lol

undine profile image
undine

lovely thank you - had a good laugh and chuckle just what I needed thanks xx

JULIEHUXTABLE1 profile image
JULIEHUXTABLE1

Oh if only I was breathing better today, I would have laughed a lot harder! Thanks, I needed cheering up

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Please have a look at quotes taken from medical records as dictated by physicians.Hee HEE

The following are quotes taken from medical records as dictated by physicians. By the time he...

found on NHS medical,records

[1] By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart beat had stopped, and he was feeling better. :)...
jimmyw123 profile image

Found on nhs records

[1] The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. [2] The baby was delivered , the cord...
jimmyw123 profile image

Please help

my 4year old daughter poppy has been diagnosed with left lower lobe collapse,she was very sick and...

Where Do You Get Pain

Hi all, My mum has emphysema and 'either bronchiecstasis or fibrosis' (each hospital letter says...
JForbes26 profile image

Moderation team

See all
AsthmaandLung profile image
AsthmaandLungAdministrator
Claire_ALUK profile image
Claire_ALUKAdministrator
moderator_AandLUK profile image
moderator_AandLUKAdministrator

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.