The following are from a book called, disorder in the American Courts.
Attorney, what was the first thing your husband said to you this morning?
Witness, He said "where am I Cathy"?
Attorney, and why did that upset you?
Witness, My name is Susan!
____________
Attorney, what gear where you in at the moment of impact?
Witness, Gucci sweats and reeboks!
______________
Attorney, Are you sexually active?
Witness, No I just lie there!
______
Attorney, what is your date of birth?
Witness, July 18th!
Attorney, What year?
Witness, Every year!
_________
Attorney, how old is the son that lives with you
Witness, thirty eight or thirty five, I can't remember!
Attorney, how long has this son lived with you?
Witness, Forty five years!
___________
Attorney, the youngest son the twenty year old, How old is he?
Witness, he's 20, much like your IQ!
_______
Attorney, how was your first marriage terminated?
Witness, by death!
Attorney, and by who's death was it terminated?
Witness, Take a guess.
________
And last
Attorney, doctor before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness, no!
Attorney, did you check for blood pressure ?
Witness, no!
Attorney, did you check for breathing?
Witness, no!
Attorney, so it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness, no!
Attorney, how can you be sure doctor?
Witness because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar!
Attorney, I see, but could the patient still be alive nevertheless?
Witness, Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
'The Past Is A Foreign Country'
Steroids and eyes!
