Another song parody special; this time Christmas edition, to bring us all some festive cheer (+/- wheeze, cough and excessive salbutamol use 😉😂😅). Please feel free to add your own (partial or full it’s up to you 😉)
Ps thanks to Lysistrata for the prompt/idea for this week 😉😂
12 Days of asthma
On my twelfth day of asthma my doctor gave to me;
12 nebulisers/ 11 shots of hydro/ 10 bags of fluids/ 9 trips to resus/ 8 prednisolone
7 diff-rent doctors/ 6 asthma nurses/ 5 inhalers/ 4 admission/ 3 GPs/ 2 wheezy coughs/ And a brand new pump of ventolin
We wish you a wheeze free Christmas
We wish you a wheeze free Christmas/ We wish you a wheeze free Christmas/ We wish you a wheeze free Christmas/ And a cough free new year
(Good doctors we bring, for you and your kin/ We wish you a wheeze free Christmas/ And a cough free new year)
Now lose us the short of breath-ness/ Now lose us the short of breath-ness/ Now lose us the short of breath-ness/ And no tight chest pain
Blue Christmas (Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley) - a lament for your ventolin
I'll have a blue Christmas without you/ I'll be so blue just thinking I need you/ Nebulisers of salb on the oxygen tap/ Life’s not the same doc, if I’ve got a ventolin cap
And when those blue nurses start callin'/ That's when those blue memories start fallin'/ You’re not doin' all right, with your skin oh so white/ But I'll have a blue, blue, blue inhaler/ You’re not doin' all right, with your skin oh so white/ But I'll have a blue, blue, blue inhaler
Call the Calvary (Stop the Calvary - Jona Lewie) (for Blue-Breeze and everyone else who has a fight for treatment due to not being textbook... keep banging those drums!)
Hey, Dr. Churchill comes over here/ Says I’m doing splendidly/ But I am aghast, breathing’s very fast/ Remind me he is not the enemy/ Oh I say it's tough, I have had enough/ Can you call the cavalry?
I have had to fight, almost every night/Nebulise me, I don’t wheeze/ That is when I say, oh yes yet again/ Can you call the cavalry?
CritCare doctors, hear me moan/In the asthmatics fall-out zone/ Wish I had a mag bag now/ In the vein that nurses all love/ Wish I was at home for Christmas
Dang! That's another’s gone, blown another vein/ Cannula don’t kink on me/ If I get home, live to tell the tale/ I’ll train up myself, you’ll see/ If I get an issue I'll call, I will call the cavalry/ Wish I was at home for Christmas
Wish I had that mag bag now/ In the vein that nurses all love/ CritCare doctors, hear me cheer/ I can see you coming near/ Wish I was at home for Christmas
I will keep banging. I said to the ladies in my bay...I'm getting a t-shirt printed.
I'm asthmatic...
Don't wheeze
Fast pulse
Tight chest
Sats good (but will drop if dont treat)
NOT anxiety
I think I’ll join you with a t-shirt. As you know sometimes I don’t wheeze or have a very quiet one during an attack and have great stats apart from a racing heart rate which eases with salbutamol.
Oh my word, hilarious, but you clearly have way too much free time on your hands Emma!! 🤣 x ...... except I have to give this a go now!!
Away in an ambo, no ward for a bed, the little poor patient sat upright instead.
The docs in the department had no clue what to do,
so just waited and hoped that she would fail to turn blue! 😳👍🏻
They call to the nurses/ Please cannulate them/ poor patient just sat there/ shows arm to the men
The bruises are countless/ yet still they must try/ good drugs for the patient/ iv port needed, sigh
They finally have access/ they know what to do/ poor patient was patience/ now they can run to the loo 😉😂😂
Ok to “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin Stevens
Medication all around me
Old inhalers filling drawers
Is the season for blaming all those candles
Wheezing daily till new year😊
Time for steroids/ And nebulisers/ make People dance/ All night long/ Time for kisses/ And exchanging sickness/ Time for wheezing Christmas songs
We're gonna have a party tonight/ I'm gonna call the doc/ tell him that I may need help/ I hate the candle light
Room is swaying/ wheezy breathing/ all the old Meds/ I get give/ Oh, I wish that/ My lung would just behave/ I have a life I/ just want to live, whoo, yeah
You've been Whammed - asthma style!
Last Christmas, you gave me a bed
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll wait till you're not on call
Once discharged and twice shy
I keep my distance
But lungs still force me there
Tell me, doctor
Do you recognize me?
Well, it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
(Merry Christmas!) I wrote my summary and sent it
With a note saying, "Nebs don't hike my rate" I meant it
Now, I know what a fool I've been
But if you saw me now
I know you'd fool me again
Last Christmas, you gave me a bed
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll wait till you're not on call
(side note: thankfully never been admitted at Xmas but am sure some on here have been. This is for you!)
I'm dreaming of a blue Christmas, just like the ones we've had before/Where the IVs glisten/and drs listen/to hear the breath sounds in the bay
I'm dreaming of a blue Christmas/With every drug chart doctors write/May the rounds happen when they're due/And may no more Christmases be blue
Just had a déjà vu moment about Xmas song parodies. Then remembered this post 😂. To add;
Oh the asthmatics online are frightful, But ANs are so delightful, And since no one there can breathe, Let’s just wheeze, let’s just wheeze, let’s just wheeze
Well it doesn’t show signs of stoppin’, Let’s get those inhalers puffin’, HU AN just says no, Call Ambo, call ambo, call ambo
When we final call them out, how we hate doing that every time, but we then become able to shout!, “oh I’m finally feeling just fine!”
Oh we finally are not dying, cause hospitals are so exciting, and to make others feel good too, to HU, to HU, to HU!
When is asthma asthma and when asthma not asthma?
Asthma or no asthma?
Mild asthma? No asthma? 
Asthma 
