Post partum psychosis recovery

[Cupcake81]

Hi everyone

I'm currently 2years in recovery from postpartum psychosis and I am struggling quite badly with anxiety and depression.

I have the overwhelming fear that something bad is going to happen to my son. It's overwhelming.

I am currently medicated , olanzapine, fluoxetine and low dose diazepan.

I'm just reaching out in the hope that those who have suffered with this can offer some coping strategies or words of support or you're own experiences.

I am currently under the pcart team but they do not have a psychologist at present.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post

[Delucia]

I totally get it I had my son two years ago I stop my medication Five months ago ! I had extreme anxiety what has helped me was meditation every day, therapy every two weeks , a healthy diet getting out and exercising into nature finding the things that I truly love to do writing a journal which took me till now to be able to write anything down because I was afraid of the traumatic experience I went through ! choosing Positive thoughts and feelings . Before I was so fearful of everything today I can say that I choose the path of faith over fear. When I was on the medicine I felt like I had no confidence I felt like a zombie And I still had extreme anxiety but no longer more with the help of my psychiatrist weaning me off and doing all the things above patiently which was hard because I’m not normally that patient I want to fix right away lol I’m so glad that You found the support here I definitely find this helpful . May god Bless you and your family ✌️❤️😊 remember do not force anything and trust the process i’m using My traumatic experience for good I want more people to know about postpartum psychosis and

Help other moms that went through this and let them know they are not alone and you can get through this🙏

[Rachel_at_APP Partner APP]

Evening Cupcake81,

So sorry to hear that you had PP two years ago and that you're struggling with anxiety and depression. That must be awful for you. I had PP, back in 2016, and then subsequently suffered too with anxiety and depression. It can happen that way quite often as I understand it. In some ways I found the sadness and depression I was left with following my psychosis harder than the psychosis itself as it was so exhausting and relentless. I don't know if you have read our insider guides about recovery from PP. You can find them on the website here: app-network.org/wp-content/...

My feelings did pass and go, just like the psychosis did. Nothing bad happened. But, as Delucia has alluded to in her reply, it can take time, and a lot of hard things - like therapy sometimes. I saw a counsellor who supported me hugely with how I was feeling. I also, like Delucia, found exercise to be a huge help, for me it was running, but it will be different for everyone. Again, like Delucia I also found journaling to be helpful - nothing overly complicated at all I just took the time every single day to try and write three good things that had happened that day. Sometimes it was tiny things, like I'd managed to brush my teeth - other times it was capturing something that made me feel great like my little boy smiling at me. Nature too, was hugely comforting to me. The slow pace of it, helped to calm me down on anxious days. With each day that passed, my symptoms got better.

In terms of the feeling like something bad was going to happen, I also felt that too. For a time I couldn't walk with the pushchair along certain pavements as I was too fearful of the busy roads. It was my tired brain catastrophising everything maybe. The PP left a big trauma to recover from. It too was exhausting.

With hindsight I should have definitely sought more help than I did for the depression and anxiety I struggled with. I think now, looking back, that medication would have helped me with that. But I think in a way I was in denial about how deep my feelings were. I was fighting so hard to get better, that it actually probably took longer to come out of. I don't know if its helpful me telling you that bit?! I guess I'm just so very glad that you're acknowledging how you're feeling - that is super important so well done for reaching out. I'm glad you've found us. I'm also really glad to read that you're under the team for support, that is really positive. Keep talking with them and telling them how you're feeling. You can beat these feeling. You already are, every day.

Take care, and do write again if it helps.

Rachel x

[Irishgirl1710 Volunteer]

Hi Cupcake

Like you I was ill in 2019 and I thought I'd feel better than I do. But I've reflected on how far I've come even since the start of this year. Maybe you can ask close friends and family to help you realise how amazing you are.

Please feel free to message again

Ailania aka Laney

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Cupcake81

I’m sorry to hear you are suffering from anxiety and depression in your recovery from PP. It is awful after the trauma of PP.

I had PP twice many years ago and struggled with depression and crippling anxiety which was very draining. I remember my GP at the time referring to me as an “anxious mother” in a referral letter! I was taking anti-depressants which helped with other interventions added as I wasn’t coping at home.

It’s good that you are being supported by the a care team but they don’t have a psychologist in post. There is the “Every Mind Matters” NHS website at nhs.uk/every-mind-matters which might be helpful. There is a section entitled “Anxiety” featuring a video of a consultant clinical psychologist, offering coping strategies, with personal experiences of others.

On the same page there is a section “Mental health issues” and another video featuring a clinical academic psychiatrist talking about low mood and coping strategies, e.g. Mindfulness, meditation, quietening your mind, sleep.

Lately I have found chair yoga to be a good exercise!

It’s not easy trying to cope with the effects of medication and routine so remember to be kind to yourself. I hope you have found the replies here helpful and please write again if you would like to. Take care.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Cupcake81

I think it might be easier to find the sections I mentioned if you google Every Mind Matters NHS, and they are listed there? Thinking of you .....

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Cupcake81,

How are you doing today? I am sorry to hear that you suffered from pp 2 years ago and that you are now experiencing anxiety and depression.

I had pp in 2018 and also experienced depression just after and anxiety that lasted longer.

Last year in the summer I was able to access CBT therapy over the phone and that was very beneficial to me. As you mention that your care team does not have a psychologist I wonder if you could access a talking therapy service offered by the council? Sometimes waiting lists can be very long, but just wondering if this is a possibility where you live.

It is very draining to live with that feeling that something bad may happen at any point in time, I am really sorry you are going through that at the moment.

There has been great suggestions above on some activities that could be beneficial at the moment. I also found exercise to be a great regulator for me. Finding the time to do it is difficult with a toddler, but last year I was made aware of a you tube channel that does yoga videos for kids, its called cosmic kids. It was a life saver when the weather changed, and a good 20 to 40 minutes of exercising for me. It may not be your cup of tea of course, so perhaps a session of yoga before bed could be a good option.

Meditation as suggested above is also a great tool, I also found grounding techniques that can be applied on the go to bring yourself to the present are quite useful.

It may be a good idea to perhaps reach out to your care team and let them know how you are feeling at the moment. I am not a fan of medication myself, but perhaps they could review your current one and agree on a plan with you to move forward. For me, medication helped me get to the point where I could start doing more things for myself and then I found it easier to get on with the day if I have had a few good days under my belt.

Do you have support from friends and family at the moment? A good chat with a close one even over the phone recharges me for a while.

Take good care, hope this week is a bit easier and that you can find some use in the tips from other mums here.

[alwaysadreamer]

Hi Cupcake81,

I know how you feel about the worries something will happen, I've had that and it's overwhelming at times. I was recommended a book called Compassionate Mind Approach to Postnatal Depression where they talk about this (under the Frightening Thoughts section in the book) and say this is very common and Mums often feel this will last forever but it does go. This is also covered in the Positive Birthing Co's Postpartum Pack - an online course with lots of videos including a mental health section. They say it is common and to try to not dwell, comparing it to 'Mop Man', an unwanted salesman that is a waste of time entertaining. I also had a Psychologist when I was at a hospital for PP tell me that there are more people that have these thoughts, than people that don't, so it is considered normal. After all this info, I am still, myself, worrying. But it is some relief to find these forums where people are sharing. I hope worrying stops for both of us & sooner rather than later! I am paying for therapy fortnightly(as not eligible for free sessions due to where I live) £60 with MumsAid. You could try them if you wanted someone to do talking therapy with. All the best

[alwaysadreamer]

Also, this link was recommended on another forum & I found it useful

northpointrecovery.com/blog...

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Cupcake81

I hope the shared experiences and links here have been helpful. I think it might help to keep a journal of how you are feeling so that the team you are under can see at a glance how stressful your days can be? Finding your way through depression and anxiety is awful so I hope your care team find the right balance of medication and treatment for you. Thinking of you .... take care.