I need a quick support regarding my wife from the healed personnel if you can please. I am an NRI, me and my wife had a first baby on 9th of April 2023. My wife was experiencing severe pains of pregnancy before the child birth, even after the pregnancy she was having the same pains. I decided to go to her provide the support need to her from my side. Unfortunately I was late by one day she gave birth to a Male baby healthy one alhamdullillah. I was near her helping her in her needs and at nights by looking care of the small one. We were having disputes of name of the new born. And she did not give her good will with the name I have given for our baby as many days I was near her she was very good and normal to me I was near her about 15 days in my mother in law's house.
As soon as I return back, I was feeling like I was being punished, even tough I was very calm and replying her positively in a mind set of her mood swings. I am having great pain by her actions she is acting as if she is not in her self. She's being influenced.
I don't know what to do. Right now in my office I am in a stage of promotion in my work already discussions are going on about it. Do I need to keep them aside and attend to my wife and be with her near her. Or shall I give her some space.
Kindly suggest me.
Written by
alostman123
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Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your son. My name's Jenny, I'm one of the peer support coordinators at Action on Postpartum Psychosis.
I’m so sorry to read that your wife doesn’t appear to be very well – it must be very difficult being away from her and not knowing what to do for the best. You mention that she is being influenced and isn’t acting like herself – do you know if she has sought medical attention at all?
The period around childbirth is a very vulnerable time. I don’t know if your work would allow you any additional time off to be with your wife but I know I needed all the support I could get – both practical and emotional. Is your wife still at her mother’s house and has good support there? If you can’t take time away from work, I would encourage you to be in contact with your wife and her mother as much as possible, alert to your wife's behaviour and any observations from her mother. If your wife is experiencing postpartum psychosis, things can escalate very quickly and immediate medical attention should be sought. You and those closest to her will know her best – if you feel things aren’t right, do trust those instincts.
You can read about postpartum psychosis, the early symptoms and frequently asked questions, on our website here:
We also have information for partners here: app-network.org/partners/ (some of the information will relate to the UK, but I hope it is still helpful).
You may also be able to find more local information and support through Postpartum Support International (PSI), if this would be helpful. PSI is based in the USA but provides a lot of support internationally. Hopefully this link will take you to contacts based in India: postpartum.net/get-help/int...
I do hope this is helpful. It must be such a worrying time but do keep reaching out if you are concerned. Remaining calm and positive with your wife sounds like a good approach – a steady, reassuring support at a time when she probably doesn’t feel in control of very much.
I am so sorry to hear that your wife is struggling with her mental health after the birth of your son. It must be such a worrying time for you as a father - especially as you are away with work. How is your mother in law feeling about how your wife is doing? Often, when a mother is unwell - it is those around her who can notice something is 'not quite right' and can reach out for help on her behalf.
I have done some research on organisations you can call in India for advice on your wife's symptoms, and if postpartum psychosis is suspected they can help you to access urgent medical treatment at your nearest hospital:
NIMHANS perinatal psychiatric national helpline is (+91) 81057 11277.
The Green Oak Initiative: Chiguru perinatal mental health initiative can be contacted on (+91) 9972 665 268 and (+91) 8042 40411
Please do not hesitate to talk to your employer and discuss your worries about your wife - I hope you will find they are supportive and able to give you time off to be with your wife and son at this difficult time.
I’m so sorry to hear of your concerns for your wife and hope you have found support from the links here or in the community. Thinking of you .. take care.
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