When will it end

[Adoo97]

Hello i haven’t been writing here in about 1year or more i wanted to inform you that my wife is still not stabile she resently have some delusional thoughts/ thinking ) it comes and goes when she lower the dose on aripriprazole to 7.5mg she was fine some months and we thaught that she is gonna be fine but afer out vecation she started to get delusional thoughts and very depressed she cried very mutch and today she got it again im so hopeless we have a meeting with the doctor at monday im so sad and depressed i dont know what to do anymore im so broken she takes ecitalopram 10mg and aripriprazole 7.5mg it feels like we are in stage 1 again i have stomach pain and anxiety i wish you can give me some hope and tell me some of your story and that you made it i wish you all the best 😔❤️‍🩹

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Adoo97, I am so sorry to read about your wife's recent struggles with delusions and low mood. It is so hard when you had your hopes up that you are seeing the back of it. It is so positive you are having a drs assessment on Monday and hopefully a medication review can start showing some positive effect on your wife.

After having pp in 2018, I was diagnosed bipolar in 2022 and I know that a holiday can be very disruptive for my equilibrium. I recently had an episode of insomnia, high mood and tearfulness combined while on holiday with my family. After a change in medication I have regained my state of balance and I am doing quite well. This episode was short lived compared to my mania in the first days after my daughter was born in 2018, and I responded much faster to medication this time as I did not become so unwell. So I am hoping it works similarly for your wife.

Hang in there, things will get better and this will be transitory, it must feel like a blow at the moment, but do bear in mind that you are well supported and with your wife's history you will be able to get help much faster and easier. You have overcome this before, and I am sure you will be able to do so again. And also, look after yourself as this period can be very draining for you. If you have close friends in which to confide or family members do try to find a time to have an honest chat. I don't know if you are also aware of the cafe group at APP for partners, it can provide an opportunity to share and hear similar experiences: app-network.org/peer-support/

[Espanola22 Volunteer]

Hi there, well done for reaching out and getting in contact. That’s the first step. Understandably you are feeling anxious and hopeless so don’t feel bad for that. These situations are very hard on the family around. It is great that you have a doctor’s appointment and hopefully they can give some helpful advice. Is your wife talking to anyone or have any other support?

Make sure you make time for yourself to disconnect and do something you enjoy as it’s very important to keep yourself as healthy as possible! Keep strong….it won’t last forever.

[Zebunisa_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Adoo97 ,

Sorry to hear your wife is unwell. I know personally it can be very draining for the partner. I recently relapsed and became unwell (after 1 year of my postpartum psychosis episode) and it affected my husband and his mental health quite a lot. I totally understand that it is affecting you too. If it is affecting you too much my advice would be to mention this to the doctor and/or you can reach out to us and speak to Simon/Chris who offer partner peer support.

You realise that you both rely on each other which is bitter sweet when one or both of you are unwell.

Hopefully you will get some support on Monday from the drs appointment. Before then try to hang in there and keep strong you are doing so well. You’ve been supporting your wife for a long time and its bound to be draining for you. Slowly but surely she will get better. There is light at the end of the tunnel and your wife will bounce back.

I hope everything goes well on Monday, feel free to reach out to us if you want a chat or further support we are here for you

[Kat_at_APP Volunteer]

Dear Adoo97

Sorry to hear that your wife has relapsed a little. The road to recovery is annoyingly bumpy… I think almost everyone here on the forum can tell you their experiences of the ups and downs. It’s great you have a medical appointment coming up - I would encourage your wife to write down all the things that are worrying her, including those delusional thoughts she’s having, so the doctor has the fullest picture of her symptoms. Also to have a think about what she most wants to get out of the appointment - a review of medications, or referral to talking therapy, or other coping strategies for some of the distressing symptoms? Maybe a combination of all those things and more!

It’s interesting that she experienced the set back while on vacation, as the same thing happened to me. I thought the holiday would be good for me, a chance to get away from some stressful things building up at home, but of course I took the stress with me - and then I was in a strange environment which fed my paranoia and left me really quite unwell again. Just mentioning this as it might be something to think about when planning future trips. At least in the short term.

Finally I just want to share this article here again. I know I’ve shared it on the forum before, but perhaps your wife could take a look at it sometime - I find it very motivating and helpful in my recovery (it’s a bit philosophical in parts, but I find all that fascinating too): centreformentalhealth.org.u...

All my best wishes to you and your family

Kat

[Naomi_at_app Volunteer]

Dear Adoo97

I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling - your words about feeling so broken, and feeling the anxiety and sadness of the situation in your body are so familiar to what my husband went through too.

It can be the hardest thing to seek support for yourself whilst you're also caring for your partner - but I know my husband and lots of other partners here would urge you to not feel guilty about needing help for your own mental health.

My husband Simon found it helpful to see the doctor (GP), have time off work, and was able to have free counselling through his employer. I hope perhaps something like this may be available for you.

Looking back, I think it also helped Simon to keep connections with friends and simple activities outside of mental health as it can sometimes all feel so dark. He reached out to a mountain biking online group and I think the nature, company and a blast on his bike just felt like some normality and space... Are there things you especially enjoy doing or places you love to be outdoors?

As others have said you can also link up with partners through APP - Zoom catch ups with other partners which can be accessed outside the UK. Please DM if you'd like me to put you in touch.

Take good care of yourself

Naomi

[Adoo97]

Thanks for all suport you all really giving me hope im just conserned that my wife being manic and very depressed and has delusional thoughts during her menstrual cycle i dont know why after 4-5 days she becomes normal again i really need to speak to the doctor and im so sorry zebunisa that you relapsed again and i really hope that you gonna get thru this how are you feeling today is it better?

[Naomi_at_app Volunteer in reply to Adoo97]

Hi Adoo97, I'm really glad to hear that it has given you some comfort to hear reassuring words from other people's experience.

It's interesting that you have noticed a pattern to your wife's thoughts and feelings during her menstrual cycle. It's definitely worth talking to your wife's doctor about this - we don't yet know enough in the research about how hormones affect PP, but we do know that women can be susceptible to difficulties during menopause and that stabilising hormones has benefitted a number of women in our community.

I took a hormonal contraceptive pill in my 30's after PP and taking this continuously without a break did seem to help stabilise my mood, especially in the pre-menstrual phase.

I do hope you have an opportunity to speak to the doctor with your wife soon and that it helps you to find a way forward.

Naomi

[Zebunisa_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Adoo97 thank you I feel recovered now. It took a few months but I got better with the help from my drs and the other services which I was referred to. I hope your appointment today went okay and hope you were able to discuss everything which is concerning you.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Adoo97

I’m so sorry to hear you are so broken supporting your wife in her recovery. I hope the appointment with the doctor went well and there was reassurance for you and your wife. I think I shared with you that many years ago I had delusions which I’ve read eventually faded with the right medication.

Please take care of yourself as it can be very draining if you are depressed. I’m not sure what support there is in Sweden but keep talking to family or friends so that you are not overwhelmed. Your wife will recover and you will have better days together. Best wishes to you an your family 🌻