I've had some really useful and helpful responses to my previous posts so when I was thinking about things which my family and I can do to make life easier when baby arrives I thought this would be the right place to ask for tips and ideas.
I would be grateful for any tips, ideas, links to info that anybody thinks could be helpful or did actually help them. I've seen online that some people batch make loads of food in advance and freeze to make life easier.....did anybody do that? Is it worth the bother?
Did anybody use any gadgets or gizmos? Bottle makers or anything?
Any tips for wellbeing? Anything that you think are good tips for new Mums with past PP to do or equally things they should avoid for their wellbeing?
I hope you all understand what I'm trying to ask and I look forward to any tips, ideas, experiences that you share.
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Littleloulou
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When my second baby arrived I didn't batch cook. I found taking time away from baby to cook while they slept helped me with that side of me that wanted to keep busy.
Gadgets for milk- my friends had those prep machine things but I was quite happy just making them from scratch when I needed them. I would just measure the pots of milk powder in little containers so they were ready to pop in and then I had jugs of water in the fridge to put the bottle in to cool down. I did think about getting a prep machine but then got put off them.
For wellbeing I went to quite a few baby groups as I felt I missed out previously. I didn't talk to anyone there about my past psychosis, I just went to enjoy having that experience with other mums during maternity leave.
I also had a friend come round one day and do me a blow dry and went on lots of walks sharing how I was feeling with them.
My husband did the first two weeks of night feeds and then I planned with my CPN how I would take over when he went to work, so I was still ensuring I got the sleep.
Let me know if you have any other questions always happy to help if I can 😊
Hi Littleloulou, so nice to hear from you again, I think it is perfect that you are thinking ahead to how to make life easier when baby arrives.
My main bit of advice is to accept all the help that is offered and even go as far as asking politely, people love to help and sometimes do not know the best way to go around it, so do not hesitate to guide someone to help you if you see they are genuinely willing.
I did a little bit of meal prep, froze some pasta sauce and some marinated chicken, those were quick to prepare beforehand and they could be thrown in the oven or the pot without too much fuss. My sister in law was a star and she send us a box of frozen meals delivered to our door, those types of gifts make a huge difference and are not more difficult to arrange than a bouquet of flowers.
We limited the visits to our house, it helped that my son was not the first grandchild and the pressure was off by then. We visited our family at their house instead and that was so much easier, we always had the excuse to leave a bit earlier and were hosted as opposed to having to entertain.
We borrowed the bottle prep machine, but ended up not using it, just made them with the powder and kettle. But do judge for yourself I have a few friends who swore by it.
I had a good health visitor who recommended me some local mum's walking groups, and that was nice. I did baby groups and went for long walks with the pram or the carrier. Local facebook groups are also a good way to find out about nearby baby classes.
My husband was lucky to be able to bank a good chunk of annual leave which he tagged at the end of his paternity leave, so we ended up having a month and a bit of both of us at home. We took our daughter to the childminder 3 days a week and the rest of the time we spent finding our stride as a family of 4.
Take good care Littleloulou, always here to listen and chat if that helps
I think you are right about accepting as much help as possible, I wish I'd done that first time around. Your sis in law sounds like a great person and I'd far rather get meals than the bother of arranging flowers.
I also agree with limiting visitors and that's a great idea to go to them so we can leave when suits us. Thanks for the tips!
I was the same as you, did not want to bother anyone when we had our daughter, and then became so defensive to any comments or suggestions that it was no use anyway.I approached things very differently with my boy, I made sure that my wellbeing was as important as keeping him well. Rest is so so important, having a plan to protect my sleep was one of the things that kept me well second time around.
Take good care, lots of good wishes, here for anything you may need
Try and enjoy every moment. The more children you have, the faster time goes by! Oh and use slings. A soft cloth one for indoors and a more substantial one for outdoors. They transformed my experience completely for the better.
Babies love being in the sling and that makes you happy too! That and a Euan The Dream Sheep to get them off to sleep and you’re ready to take on the world! X
Exciting times ahead! Though I know there are also worries when you've had PP before.
Re batch cooking. I did some of this during the 'nesting' phase. In fact I was making soup in early stages of labour to keep busy! I made a tonne of veggie lasagnes to freeze but forgot to wash the spinach, so had gritty bits in my meals for ages after So, top tip, wash your spinach LOL!
My youngest was born 10yrs ago so there are probably loads more gadgets now that I don't know about. The bouncy chair was used a LOT with my second. Pop him in it to get a shower, when the rest of us were eating, or when my eldest needed attention. Same with the bumbo seat as 2nd got older. I think 2nd children get used to be 'plonked' down and entertaining themselves more!
I was able to breastfeed 2nd time round but with the 1st I wished I had an easier way of washing and sterilising bottles, and making and cooling them, so if there's gadgets out there that help I wish I'd had them.
2nd time, I avoided any 'advice' books or basically anyone telling me what to do! I'd got very obsessed first time round with following schedules and advice precisely, and keeping obsessive notes, so 2nd time I just went with the flow, he slept when he slept, fed when he fed, and we were both very chill
My husband was able to take 2wks leave and then work a bit from home, which was a massive help for me. I didn't get any PP with my 2nd child, but I was very anxious with a bit of OCD intrusive thoughts, just worried it would come back. So it helped for me to have another person around for reassurance I was doing ok. I also had a perinatal mental health nurse visit a couple times a week for a while too which eased my mind.
Also getting out for a walk with the baby in the pram once a day come rain or shine (or snow!) was a non-negotiable for me too.
Thanks for the tips! Gritty spinach does not sound appetising, lol. I like the chill approach and I hope to do that this time. Last time I did not chill at all which is why I'm trying to plan some things in advance so I will be able to. Also agree that walks in the fresh air are always good for the mind and body.
The only thing I would suggest adding to your preparation is thinking what you might need to do differently if you end up having a caesarean. I had an emergency caesarean with my baby which meant I had to take things pretty slowly. I don’t drive, but I know you have to take 6 weeks off. It takes an age to get out of a chair and there’s no heavy lifting!
I had PP in September 2020 after the birth of my son. We had a daughter in November 2022 and I didn’t relapse.
I prepped freezer dinners. It made life so much easier. I believe I did at least 3 weeks worth. About a month before my due date, I just doubled whatever recipe I was cooking for that night and froze the second portion. This was easier than spending all day in the kitchen doing it.
My husband had started a new job so he wasnt going to get paternity leave. So I decided to hire professional nighttime help and daytime help. I was most concerned about nighttime. I set that up for three weeks and then I flew my brother out for a week and my mom flew out for a week. So that was 5 weeks of help.
For me the professional help didn’t work out, but they were here the first five days of us being home. I can’t say for sure if it helped me or not. I think family is best though. If you are able to have a few family members take turns visiting, I know that helped me a lot. I will be doing that again if we have another baby. Also if you have people who are willing to come and cook or just help you clean your house, that’s honestly the most helpful thing.
It was very important to breastfeed. Which is why I also got the professional help, to support me in that. I was prescribed Olazapine, which has been deemed one of the safer ones. I am bipolar two. It was suggested to take it during pregnancy but I decided not too. Because I knew my issue is more so when the baby is home. I was also told that the medicine kicks in immediately, but just to be safe I took it the first night my daughter arrived. After two weeks, I felt great and I knew it wasn’t because of the medicine so i got permission to no longer take it.
It’s really important to know your triggers. When I get psychosis I stay awake for days and deep clean my house. So I told myself even if im awake in the middle of night, I am not getting out of bed. I also chose not to clean anything for a few weeks (this was hard) because I didn’t want me cleaning to make anyone think I may be going down the rabbit hole.
I said a lot of prayers and all my prayers were answered. My biggest fear was being away from my baby again but also my toddler. Especially with him being at an age where he’d be more aware of what is going on.
Reassuring to hear that you didn't relapse after having your daughter. Good tip to meal prep daily while making dinner, I like that idea.
I really relate to your experience of psychosis when you stayed awake and deep cleaned your house for days. I was the same, I was obsessed with cleaning and wasn't sleeping at all.
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So, top tip, wash your spinach LOL!
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