I had crisis last week and couldn't cope luckily I had support waiting to pick me up when I fell
App have some amazing people working for them and I really appreciate the 2 that are supporting me.
I just wish these intrusive thoughts would disappear its so difficult when you have promised someone that you won't act on the thoughts,and then the thoughts just get more and more.
today I got rushed in hospital due to my heart.i just feel its one thing after another and I can't see no way forward. Do people have any suggestions
please don't be horrible
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pinkladystar
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I’m so sorry to hear you were in crisis last week. APP have a wonderfully supportive team who I am so glad you have reached out to
I also experience intrusive thoughts, which started when my son was born in 2014. I’m wondering if you have been offered any counselling or therapies? I found CBT very beneficial, and it helped me rationalise the thoughts I was having. It’s so important to remember that intrusive thoughts are only thoughts, the anxiety we experience comes from how much we care and worry about what we hold most dear. Here’s a link that you may find useful:
I'm waiting for psychology as I had cbt and it didn't do anything.
I do try to focus that there only thoughts but it us so difficult.
yes it was very over whelming as I really didn't want to be there and it was really difficult as I thought to myself this is the way the intrusive thoughts is going to take me
I totally understand and hope that you don’t have to wait too long for your appointment with a psychologist. You are doing all the right things with accessing support which is amazing is there anything that you enjoy doing that helps you to relax? I know that’s easier said than done with a 16 month old 😅 I find trying out new crafts a great distraction when the thoughts get overwhelming. I read a fantastic tip from another lady who tries to reframe intrusive thoughts with “I am having a thought that….[insert thought here]” which defines further that it’s a thought and nothing more. There is no judgement here, please do not worry. I hope you find something that works for you, and please keep talking as it really does help. x
I totally understand and remember feeling the same way in the earlier days. One thing I can promise is this will pass. I have just seen Rachel’s lovely message including a link to the Samaritan’s - I found having them to talk to in the nights where my thoughts were racing helped me immensely x
I’m sorry to hear you haven’t had any sleep. You’ve had so much going on so I know how difficult it must be. I hope you manage to take it easy today.
You have some wonderful support in place, I’m just wondering if a chat with your GP about sleeplessness would also be helpful? I know you’re so exhausted at the moment, and they may be able to support you with this.
Firstly let me send you a huge hug from one Mummy to another. I’m really sorry to hear you’re having such a hard time at the moment. I say “at the moment”, because what you’re feeling right now is temporary. Promise.
I’ve stood where you are lovely, so very poorly, with awful thoughts rushing through my ever so poorly and tired head. I got better. And you will too. You say you’ve been supported by two lovely people from APP. I’m SO glad that you’ve found them. I wonder if it’d help to reread some of their messages and words. It might just feel a like some comfort around you while you’re in hospital.
Do talk with the professionals around you in hospital too, they’ll want to help you too and make sure that they give you the right support not only for your heart but to help you with your thoughts too. I’m really sorry you’re poorly with your heart. But I’m really glad you’re accessing support in hospital.
Write anytime if it helps. Thinking of you lots. There’s a team of Mums here, a little squad who really do understand and are rooting for you. Sending hugs.
Just sorry it’s only a virtual hug. But you’re more than welcome.
I can’t imagine struggling with another health condition and recovering as you’re trying to cope with your thoughts. It’ll be ok. Is there anyone with you this evening who can help? I hope someone is close by or on the phone if you need them.
I wonder if you need to, if Samaritans would be helpful to talk to if you can’t sleep and need to talk tonight? samaritans.org/how-we-can-h...
I hope you can get some rest lovely. It’ll be ok. Keep talking to your friends and family. And I hope you can speak with either your GP or other medical professional if they’re still supporting you. They’ll want to help.
I am thinking of you, too and give you a big virtual hug. I can resonate with your struggles.
This forum has been such great support when I felt so lost. I did not find out about this forum till 5 yrs. after PPP. I could not sleep, and my anxiety was immense.
This bunch of wonderful mums here on this forum all have been in the same footprints, meaning experiencing this traumatising illness. The exchange of experience is vital, because our lived experiences are often different from the offset of acute illness and throughout our time of recovery depending on various factors. You will be able to learn and access information on the APP site, with some great useful links.
You are safe here, it is none-judgmental & professional help is always at hand. You see, I did not know that my suffering was not only influenced externally, because of immense stressors throughout recovery, but I had undiagnosed bipolar. APP guided me to a professor, who eventually helped our family. Times will change for you, too and you have a good support network, too.
I am sorry to read about your anxiety, intrusive thoughts and rush to hospital because of your heart. Gosh, it is a lot! Take a little time to just compassionately acknowledge with kindness towards yourself that you have been through a really rough time recently, because it is really hard. No one is going to judge you here, as it has been said above, we all in our unique recovery journeys have dealt with intrusive thoughts and anxiety, and we know how crippling and overwhelming that can be.
I am really glad you are being supported by 2 amazing app peer support volunteers and that they bring you some solace in what is a very difficult time for you. The forum is also a great place to exchange experiences and draw onto each other's compassion when things are rough.
Are you currently under a mental health team? It may be a good idea to talk to them or your GP and raise the lack of sleep last night. Insomnia is one of my early warning signs that says I am going to need some more support, so I always keep an eye out for it.
Sending you many hugs, do write here as I have found it has helped me lots in the past while I was recovering from pp. Take good care and let us know how you are getting on.
It's Ellie here, I work for APP too, as one of the National Peer Support Coordinators. I'm so glad members of our team have been so supportive for you.
I'm so sorry things are so tough for you, struggling with intrusive thoughts and anxiety, as well as your health issues. You are going through so much. I know it probably feels never ending at the moment, but you are doing so well to keep reaching out for support, from ourselves and your mental health team. Will you have a psychiatrist appointment at all soon, to maybe look at your medication, and what may help you?
I hope you can get some sleep too, which I know personally is so crucial for being able to cope. Are you able to get some sleeping tablets if you need to, just to help when things are very bad?
I'm sure that others have signposted you to some information about intrusive thoughts that you might find helpful, but just in case you haven't seen them. These are just a few resources we've gathered from others who have found them helpful, do only watch or read if it feels helpful.
Thinking of you pinkladystar, this very difficult time won't last forever, though I know it feels never ending, but you really will come through this. Take care,
That’s good you have a mental health review on Friday , I really hope it’s helpful. The important thing is to just be very honest about how you are, and how much you’re struggling. It’s so good you keep reaching out, you’re doing so so well to do that. It really really will get better.
I’m so sorry you’re struggling with sleep, can you take something to help you sleep? I really struggled with insomnia earlier this year and my counsellor did suggest something that worked well for me. Firstly to do lots of relaxing things before bed: bath, reading a novel to distract myself and doing exercise in the day really helped me. then when I was ready for bed to think of a protective figure, it could be a fictional character, animal, spiritual, anything. Say to the protective figure that you are handing over everything to them you’re holding, all your worries and anxieties, to hold for the night so that you can rest and sleep. Then lie down and go through in your head everything you’re thankful for , in your life, the world, small things, big things, and repeat if you run out of things. It can be even simple things like flowers, birds, the sunshine. I used to find it did help me to relax and that even if I still struggled to sleep it was still beneficial to do it.
And don’t worry if it doesn’t help at all, I just thought it might be worth trying and to share some things that helped me.
Thinking of you, hold on, you are doing so well to reach out and be honest with how much you are struggling, you really will get better
Hi pinkladystar, don't worry about the suggestion I gave about helping sleep that worked for me, ignore for now - I imagine you can't take things in that well at the moment.
The most important thing is you are reaching out to people - ourselves and your mental health team, and that you have a review this week which is a good step to getting the help you need.
I'm sorry you don't want to go to your review on Friday. Please, please try and go, even if you're not sure if it will help. It's so important that you have a proper review, and that you tell them how much you are struggling, so they can give you more support. You must explain too that you're struggling with sleep as this has such a big impact.
Hold on pinkladystar, and I hope you can manage somehow to get some rest, and find ways that calm your thoughts. I know it is hard to believe but things really really will get better.
oh pinkladystar I can totally understand, I'm so sorry you don't feel listened to.
One way of looking at it I guess, is that you have nothing to lose by going, as things are already so hard, and won't be worse by going to the meeting. I really hope you can go.
Perhaps you can write down everything you are struggling with, and what you want to say and give it to them, rather than having to speak and not feel listened to?
Is there someone you could take with you, like your partner or a friend, who can explain how hard you are finding things as well?
I am sorry to hear that, I hope you are getting some support. Please talk here if you need to so that I and the other lovelies can listen and help if we can. Sending a big hug and wishing you a calm and restful evening if possible ❤️ xx
I know it’s hard, it’s painful and it’s not fair. Things get better though I promise and there will be days so much brighter than this. I know it feels like you can’t cope but you can. xx
I wanted to check in after our chat here a couple of days ago. Have been thinking of you.
I’m sorry to hear that things feel so tough right now. The ladies here are right, hang in there because better days are coming, I promise.
Do you think you could get to your review tomorrow? I know it may feel like not much is helping at the moment, and you’re so overwhelmed, but I really hope you can go as it really could help.
Please be kind to yourself lovely lady. You definitely deserve so much more than you think! It sounds like your thoughts are particularly hard to deal with right now, on top of everything else you have to deal with every day. You are so strong, and you will realise this when you are feeling better.
I really do understand how you feel. I used to have so much anxiety before my reviews and other important appointments. You have absolutely nothing to lose by going though, and it’s a huge step in the right direction x
I’m so sorry that the thoughts are causing you such distress. Intrusive thoughts are the greatest liars, and you can get help to tackle these via mental health services.
You will be listened to, as you are here right now. Speaking from my experience (and that of the other ladies in this wonderful community who have been where you are), I know you will get through this and I am so glad to be talking with you now.
Do you have anyone that could go along to your appointment with you at all? I don’t know if this is helpful to hear, but when I was very poorly, I could barely say a word in reviews. I wrote everything down that I wanted to ask about and my community support worker would help me ask the questions I needed answers to.
The one thing I wish I had done is connected with other mums in my early days of recovery, which is exactly what you have done. And that’s another reason I am glad to be talking to you you’re here with ladies that understand you x
Try and get some rest tonight and when tomorrow comes, be gentle with yourself. Make a few notes if you can to bring with you, and have something to look forward to for after your review - a nice cuppa and a biscuit was my go-to every time!
Remember the Samaritans are available if you need someone to talk to during the night. Take good care lovely lady, you can do this! x
I’m sorry to hear that pinkladystar. Did you get to talk about it with your mental health OT, or one of the peer support ladies, after the review?
I hope you manage to rest this evening, and be so proud of yourself for going today. I know it couldn’t have been easy but you did it, and that’s amazing x
Hi pinkladystar, it’s lovely to hear from you. Well done for getting through the assessment. Their decision to involve the home treatment team sounds like a really positive step forward for you thank you for keeping me posted.
I hope it goes well for you. Try not to worry, they are there to support you with recovery at home pop a message on here if you’d like to chat after your assessment. Good luck x
I've had a few days off and just come back today, to see your messages.
How are you? I know that things are hard.
That is so good you went to your mental health review, I know you didn't want to, and it must have been difficult, but I'm sure it was the right thing, to get more help.
From what you've written the home treatment team will be supporting you? I do hope that goes OK, and you can get the support you need.
hi Ellie thank you for thinking of me and reading my messages.
I am really struggling at the moment the suicidal thoughts are so frequent atm
Yh went to the mental health review i thought it was but it was actually an assessment. He suggested I went in to hospital and I said no its not happening. He wasn't a very nice man tbh both me and my mental health worker thought he was abrupt
home treatment team are now involved so went for my assessment with them today and I have to have contact with them every other day for the next 2-3 weeks x
oh pinkladystar I’m sorry you found the doctor you spoke to abrupt, and it must have shocked you to hear he thought you should go to hospital.
I’m so sorry the suicidal thoughts are really intrusive at the moment , that is so hard. Do stay safe, can you make sure you’re never alone do you think? I do hope you will get some helpful support in the next couple of weeks.
I hope too you can manage to improve your sleep as well, as I know what a big impact that can have.
If you do need to go to hospital that is ok too though I’m sure it’s the last thing you want. It may help to get intensive support for a while ? I imagine that feels quite scary though, but I know it has helped others.
I'm trying to stay safe. I try not to be on my own tbh as I have promised my peer support worker I won't do anything. But its getting harder to keep that promise
The home treatment team have put in place that I have to see them every other day which I dunno how I feel about that but need to start some where
the sleeplessness is really bad and frustrating me loads
I'm so sorry you've had such an awful week. Do keep telling your mental health team how you are, & what you are struggling with. And do tell them if you aren't sleeping too.
Can you get some tablets to help you sleep?
I know it feels never ending but this time won't last forever, it is going to get better.
I am so sorry you have a nightmare of a week. How has it been with the home treatment team? As Ellie says, please do make sure that there is someone with you. We are always here for anything you need, but do please reach out to your team if you feel you can't keep yourself safe.
It will be helpful to get the out of hours emergency contact number, if you don't have it yet, write those down and stick them in a visible place in your house.
I am sorry to read they have been a bit hit and miss. Try and keep it going. Do they do face to face or is it over the phone? I just meant to not be alone. Take care
.Hi pink lady star, I'm sorry to hear you're having such a tough time. Are you getting meds to help you sleep? I find lack of sleep very difficult so I feel for you.
I have twin girls who are 6 and I've been very up and down with my mh. I just want to reassure you that it sounds like you're doing all the right things in a really hard situation. You're seeking support and telling people how you feel and that takes massive strength to do. Try and take things an hour at a time maybe just for now. And we're always here when you need support. No one at app will judge you as we've walked in those shoes.
Hi pinkladystar, I'm so sorry that things are so hard at the moment. You are doing so well to keep fighting your horrible thoughts.
How are you finding the support from the mental health team? I hope some of it at least is helpful?
As others has said do stay safe, try not to be on your own, but with a family member or friend, I hope that's possible?
And I hope you can find a way to get your sleep back on track, for example taking sleeping tablets for a bit? Lack of sleep has such a big affect, and will make intrusive and anxious thoughts a lot worse.
You really will come through this, and feel better.
OK, do remember you can also call Samaritans through the night if you need someone to chat with. It must feel really hard at the moment, but do believe us that better days are coming. This illness is temporary and with the right treatment you will get better
I am sorry to read that pinkladystar, on the plus side you are really self aware, I did not have this self reflection when I was unwell and was just driven by my thoughts. They are only thoughts and they will pass. Try and get some rest, even if your mind will not switch off, just let the tension leave your body.
I am so sorry to read that pinkladystar. Is it possible to have some company tonight? Maybe a family member can come over? Are you talking to the home treatment team tomorrow?
Hi pinkladystar, its good that you have an appointment today with them. I am sorry the nights are so hard. Could you ask them to give you something to help you sleep? I'll be thinking of you
I am sorry to hear that the crisis were not helpful last night. Do try and go to your appointment today and let them know how you have been feeling, as you deserve to feel better. Take care, will be thinking of you
It must be very frustrating to not be heard. But try and do tell them again, maybe try and write down how you have been feeling and give it to them, I found it easier to get my point accross when I wrote it down. Can your partner or a family member come with you to the appointment?
Oh pinkladystar, I am so sorry about the frustration you must feel. But you do deserve to feel better lovely. It is so infurating when someone is not listening at the other end. But more than likely it will be a different person today. Writing things down for them, did help me a lot, perhaps something to give a go? Take good care, will be thinking of you
Oh love, you do deserve it. Try and show the home treatment team what you have just written above at your appointment today. Of course we are thinking of you.
Hi pinkladystar, I am really sorry to read this, it is heart breaking how much you are struggling. We are all here for you, but I am just wondering if you would benefit from being more closely followed by a mental health team? Have the home treatment team mentioned the option of going to hospital? I understand it is not an easy decision at all
I'm just really lucky that I have my peer support worker app and my mental health ot fighting for me everyday.
I am so greatful for you,jenny , Ellie and Amy and jm who are taking the time to support me massively on her to stay on the straight and narrow even though every day is getting worse and closer to the end .
They mentioned hospital at the beginning and they said it wasn't in my best interest it would make me worse
Hi pinkladystar, it's good that they have considered it and reached a decision on it. Take it very slowly and a day at a time, better days are coming, for sure
I'm really struggling today im trying so hard to fight the suicidal thoughts as I promised my peer support lady xWent to my meds review at rhe hospital and they treated me like shit
Sorry to hear that, you deserve better than that. It's there something that would help you settle tonight? A warm bath or some TV and snacks maybe? I'm sure the APP team will be in touch tomorrow as well. It's hard not to let people like that knock you, but we're here for you, and believe in you xx
I dunno how to settle this evening It annoyed me how they were like how can we help you and I said if I knew that do you think I would be sat here looking like shit
Writing thoughts down helps some people to empty their head a bit before bed. Course I do, I was very low when I was poorly, and now I'm back studying and feeling almost back to myself again, most days! So I know it's possible to come back. Hang in there and try and rest when you can x
It’s been about a week since we last chatted here, and I wanted to let you know I’ve been thinking of you. I can see you’re going through a really hard time and I’m sending you a huge virtual hug. Please remember, it’s one day at a time at the moment. You’re doing so well battling the racing thoughts and I promise things are going to get better.
You are not a burden, lovely lady. You are going through a tough time and we are here to support you through it. You don’t have to share the thoughts you’ve been having here if you’re not comfortable to, but they will become manageable with time and support, I promise you x
You’re neither a burden or a problem, pinkladystar. Thank you for sharing the thought you’ve been having, that is such a brave thing to do. You’re a strong lady who is fighting through a very hard time. As you’ve mentioned, you are unwell. Please be kind to yourself and remember we are here for you.
If you struggle tonight, please do reach out to your out of hours mental health team or the Samaritans. They will want to help ❤️
Just checking in and sending you another virtual hug. I’ve just read your most recent comments, and can see that you have a review tomorrow. I hope it goes well for you. Every appointment you attend is a huge step forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Will be thinking of you.
I really hope you manage to go to your review today, and it goes well lovely lady. It is really positive to hear that your mental health OT is supporting you. Pop a message on here if you’d like to talk after your review.
I really do understand, reviews can be difficult especially in the early days. It is good to hear that your OT will be there, and will be in your corner. I’m so glad to hear you have a lovely peer support from one of our amazing ladies. We are rooting for you x
I'm so sorry you're still struggling so much with your thoughts, and still finding it hard to sleep and rest.
Definitely are NOT a burden to us - this is the depression and illness making you feel that. I know I felt like that too though when I was very low. We all care about you.
Please keep reaching out, and speaking to the mental health professionals you are seeing.
Thinking of you, I hope you will see someone from your mental health team today. I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment, but things really will get better XX
Hi pinkladystar, I'm sorry the team weren't helpful yesterday, I know that sometimes Crisis can have a lot of different people working there, and so it can be hard not seeing the same person.
Do you have an appointment with your mental health team today? I do hope you can go, I know it's hard to believe they may help you, but do try to go, and tell them how much you're struggling.
I know it is so hard, and it must feel that they can't help you, but do keep trying to reach out, and speak to the mental health professionals, and have your appointments, then hopefully they can get you the help you need.
Did you manage to go to your appointment today?
I know it is hard to keep having hope, but honestly you are not going to feel this way forever, you are going to come through this and get better. So many of us here have felt like you have, and have come through it. You will too.
Oh pinkladystar I'm so sorry things are hard. Were you able to say how you felt at the hospital meeting? Was there any outcome from the meeting at all?
Are there some things you have done that have helped you in the past that you could do? Hobbies, exercise, certain routines?
I know we keep saying it but it really is true - things honestly won't feel this way forever, many of us have felt like you do and come through it. You will recover, and come through this dark time.
Hi Ellie My mental health ot was there and I didnt know she was going to be there but she came in the meeting with me and told the home treatment team that we are going to loose this patient if something isn't done.
She said she has been u dear the team for week and half and nothing has been done yet
So no there was no outcome from the meeting unfortunately
Thinking of you today, I am sorry you're still struggling so much. I'm so glad you have your OT supporting you and advocating for you though, and what you may need.
I'm sorry you don't hear back from Shout. Have you tried reaching out to Samaritans, particularly at night when you are really struggling with your thoughts? They are available 24/7 to talk to, you can ring them anytime 116 123.
Hi there Laura, I am not often on this forum but it has helped me immeasurably in the past so please keep reaching out, it is so important even if you don’t feel like it. I had very bad PPD nearly 38 years ago, I did end up going into hospital and I am so glad I did. The first time I went in alone, the second time I had my baby with me - I was terrified of her and convinced I couldn’t cope/look after her etc and like you no sleep/racing intrusive thoughts all the time. It sucks so much. Please accept any help you can, like you I dreaded the thought of hospital treatment, I have a real phobia of hospitals/drs/dentists etc. But looking back hospital was the right place for me and above all it helped me to bond at long last with my baby. Hang on in there and grab all the help you can get - none of this is your fault and you will get to a better place I promise you xx
I hope this isn’t too long a post, I am over70 now but really feel your hurt and understand your feelings. Love, Patricia x
Hi pinkladystar I have been where you are now. When you ask for help but it feels like you are not being listened too. It's so frustrating when your rock bottom to have to keep advocating for yourself. It's ridiculous how this happens in the mental health teams. I remember when I had suicidal thoughts that just kept coming.
The thing that saved me was talking openly to my psychiatrist who took immediate action. This was after ringing various mental health teams who wouldn't help over and over again.
Please keep staying in this world as your child needs you so much. You can and will get better.
I lost my sister to suicide. So when I was feeling just like she did I knew I wanted to live despite the intrusive thoughts I was having.
I am sharing this with you because you don't need to leave this world like my sister.
Your not a burden and this world needs you in it!!!
I know you probably won't want to do this. But please go to A&E or call 111 or 999 as this is deemed as medical emergency.
I want you to be on this forum giving others advice in the future who are struggling. So please take care of yourself and keep fighting. Sending you a massive big hug 💟
I’m sorry to read that you’re struggling to advocate for yourself at times, it is hard when you’re feeling so poorly I know.
You write so well here, I wonder if you have a note pad too, where you can note down sentences, words, feelings that might help you communicate when you meet with professionals.
You’re really not a burden, not to us and certainly not to everyone supporting you. It’ll be ok. Do write here anytime if it helps.
You haven't upset me at all I just want to make sure you get the help and support you need to make you feel better 💓
You should never have to advocate for yourself when your feeling so terrible. If it was a physical problem like a broken leg you would get help right away. However when it comes to mental health the experience of getting help is totally different..
I have been where you are now where I thought that if I wasn't here anymore everyone would be better off as I was a burden. Looking back I realize that my thoughts where really mixed up as I wasn't sleeping well and was not myself at all. These thoughts of being a burden are strong but I can assure that they will leave you 💟
I know you have been given the number for Shout out and the Samaritan's.
There is also the National Suicide Prevention helpline UK. There open from 6pm until 3.30am everyday on number 0800 689 5652. Saneline are open 4.30pm to 10.30pm everyday. There number is 0300 304 7000.
All that aside if you feel you can't cope anymore and those thoughts keep coming please go to A&E or dial 999.
I look forward to reading on here that you got the help you needed and are on the road to recovery 🙏
I am so sorry you are going through this. I agree the NHS staff are a mixed bag. But they are also filled with some really lovely people who do care and really want to help.
The only reason I have suggested the hospital is because that is where I should have went when I was feeling as low as you are now.
I am sure your absolutely exhausted fighting so hard. I didn't share how bad I was suffering for so many reasons. My children where one reason as I didn't want to be seen as an unfit mother and another was I found it difficult actually saying I am suicidal as it is so hard to say but once you say it you feel like a weight is lifted off you !!!
If there ever comes a point where you are desperate and those thoughts don't stop. Which is so scary to live through, I advise you to call 999. If anything the other helplines I give you will hopefully help.
You keep asking for help until someone listens and never stop advocating for your own wellness.
Whatever way you seek help I hope that you feel supported and have hope and faith in your own inner strength to get through this 💟
Yh I met one of your lovley peer support ladies whilst under the perinatal mental health team I am not going in to hospital I will give in before I allow them to admit me
I feel like I am judged every time I admit it
I struggle with the mental health team as I always wonder what they are thinking
I'm really struggling with seeing me going in to the next day
I am giving in right now because I have no more fight in me
No I just wanna give in so much I can't do this no more
You’re loved. You’re needed. You’re really really important. And I really want to say, that what you’re feeling is temporary.
I have been suicidal when I was poorly. It’s a desperate place to be, I hear you.
Is anyone with you? Can they support you to contact your health professionals? Can you call Samaritans tonight on 116 123. They are there to support, anytime.
Phone for help Pinkladystar, 999 in an emergency.
I’ll write again in the morning. We’re here. You’re not a burden, you’re poorly lovely, but you really can get better from one Mummy to another.
Oh Pinkladystar, I mean every word. And of course you deserve a hug! You’re a warrior fighting this. You’re being so strong to write here. Try and rest, keep safe. Well done for phoning them.
Try and have someone with you, a friend, or neighbour maybe?
Sending hugs. I’ll write again in the morning. Rachel x
I’ve been thinking of you. I’m glad your friend was with you last night. I hope they are ok too and that you can manage to have some breakfast together this morning.
I’ll check in a bit later on today. But in the meantime here’s another hug. You deserve that one too. Promise.
Hey pinkladystar,I am so sorry the night was difficult again. You do deserve to be thought of and to feel better. Are you seeing your OT on Monday? Hope that today feels a little bit better than yesterday.
Not at all, we are all on this forum because we want to help others after what we have been through ourselves. We will always want to help you. The forum is for you to use in exactly the way that you have been.Please keep posting updates as we all care about you x
My recovery from PP was a bit like baking a cake, there were lots of different “things” or “ingredients” that helped me. Medicine, medical professionals, family, friends and later peer support through Action on Postpartum Psychosis.
Keep doing what you’re doing, engaging in support. Take care. We’re all thinking of you together. And remember you’re not a burden. You’re just poorly at the moment and it’s ok to need help.
Hello lovely, it’s ok. I’m sorry you’re having some dark thoughts. That must be very difficult for you. Can you try writing down what you’re feeling in your note pad to help? I hope your friend is still with you and can be there to talk with you.
Mind have a few suggestions of things to help distract you from negative thoughts. One in particular just made me smile about looking at black and white photos of the dogs pugs!
Do you have your care plan on hand? Don’t forget all the phone numbers, which you can phone if you need to. Like the crisis number, the 111 (999 in an emergency), the Samaritans if you need to talk 116 123.
I know you said you find it hard to phone people, but don’t face this on your own. It’ll be ok. We all care about you. Rachel x
Maybe next time you see your health professional you could mention your care plan. When I was poorly I had a few different versions at different stages in my recovery. I found them helpful, to know that backup was there. I hope you can have a restful evening. Thinking of you x
Oh I’m really sorry to hear that lovely. The evenings can be really hard can’t they.
Is your friend with you tonight? I wonder what you might be able to do to help distract yourself? Maybe a relaxing bath or shower before bed? Or some warm milk? Can you focus on a book? Or maybe some colouring would help as it doesn’t need lots of effort if you’re tired? Im wondering if you like the film Grease, given your forum name? Can you put on your favourite comforting film maybe?
I’m off to bed now. But my colleagues from the national Peer Support team who I know you’ve exchanged messages with here before will be here. So do write if it helps.
Thinking of you lots. And don’t forget the phone numbers I shared with you earlier this evening if you need them.
Thinking of you lots and lots. My mum used to say to me, “this too shall pass.” She was right, I did get better and so can you pinkladystar. Take care. Rachel x
You’re more than welcome. We’re here to help. The forum is looked after by the Charity, Action on Postpartum Psychosis. There are a couple of us who support here and moderating forum including Ellie_at_APP Jenny_at_APP Zebunisa_at_APP alongside some really really lovely volunteers who’ve been replying to you too.
We all really care pinkladystar. We care because we’ve been where you are. And felt what you’ve felt. I know it’s hard, but I hope you know that there are people at the end of the phone there to help including Samaritans for example.
I wonder if some relaxing music might help tonight? Maybe some nursery rhymes or lullabies? They can be comforting if you’ve not listened to too many recently! I listened to some audiobooks too, ones that I liked when I was little were comforting to me in some way.
Hi pinkladystar, thinking of you today, and hoping you are somehow coping - you are doing so well to keep reaching out. I hope you can keep being honest about how you're feeling to the mental health team supporting you.
You are doing so well, to keep going, and keep trying, and the way you are reaching out to your support, going to your appointments etc, though I know sometimes it feels like it's not helping, it will help you.
It helped me when I was feeling very depressed to make a plan each day - just some small goals of what I would do, sometimes I'd even plan an hour at a time.
I also would write a list of what I was thankful for at the end of each day. Even very small things, like my child's smile, or a flower I saw, anything really small. I think this slowly did help to build up my positivity.
I don't know if any of those things will help, do take or leave anything I write of course
You are doing so well pinkladystar, to keep trying and function as you say.
Also, if I'm struggling to sleep, I go through in my head while I'm lying down, all the things I'm thankful for as well (again, it can be anything and everything) until I feel sleepy and fall asleep. I find it does help to relax my mind, and helps me to switch off and sleep. Perhaps something else worth trying?
I went to my meeting today with the home treatment team and they are looking at another medication review as the new medication has made me put weight on and it has affected me even more. So they are gonna see what other medication I can be put on.
That's good you had a meeting with the home treatment team, and that they are looking at your medication. This could be a good thing, if you have been struggling so much. I do hope that is helpful.
That's really great you have been offered psychology. I imagine you might have had to wait quite a while for it? I hope it went ok. It is natural to be scared at first. I really hope the first meeting went well. I imagine it was just an introduction. Psychology was really helpful for me when I was struggling with depression, I hope you will find it helpful. It helped me to challenge negative thoughts.
Sending you much love and kindness and thinking of you pinkladystar. This is a group of amazing mums, who are there for you. This forum helped me, too and yep totally none-judgmental. xxx
Hi pinkladystar, I am sending you a hug. I read your messages here and can see how much you've been suffering. Whatever happens, you are doing your best and you deserve care. Hope you get the support you need. Xx
I can recognise that thought. The thought that you don't deserve kindness is part of the illness I'm afraid. It's OK. The thought might be loud, but it will go away given time.
As someone who has been ill and is now better, I'm sending you kindness and compassion, from my heart to yours, as a gift.
Well done for going to your appointments pinkladystar, and for staying in touch with your mental health team.
Hey pinkladystar, I’ve just been catching up with the replies to your post and it’s so good to hear that you have managed to get to your appointments during this difficult time. You should be so proud of yourself 💐 I hope the change in your medication will have you feeling better soon. Thinking of you x
I hope you’re doing ok this evening. It’s good to read in an earlier reply that you’ve had a medication review today - I hope the change in medication will help you in how you’ve been feeling.
I’m switching off shortly but do call Samaritans if you need someone to listen in the night - 116 123. And do keep reaching out to your team if you’re struggling.
I’m thinking of you and hope you can get some rest.
How are you this morning? You have done so well to keep going to your appointments, although it is not always easy to muster the energy, really brave of you. Thinking of you
How are you doing? I see you were awake last night, really sorry you weren’t able to sleep. I know how struggling with sleep massively effects me so I hope you’re coping ok.
I hope your different appointments have gone ok, I know you have started psychology. I really hope it will be helpful.
oh pinkladystar I’m sorry the appointments you’ve had haven’t felt helpful, and I can’t believe how long you need to wait for psychology, this is awful. I hope you do have professionals you can reach out to, I know you have a ot who supports you?
It’s so good that you reached out to Samaritans last night. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you are doing so well to keep yourself safe and to keep reaching out for support and saying how you feel. This takes a lot and a really big achievement I know when you’re feeling low and struggling.
I hope it’s reassuring in some way to know that if you’re really struggling at night you can ring the Samaritans, you aren’t alone.
I do hope you can find ways to help you through the days, whether that’s through exercise, seeing a supportive friend, helpful routines etc, or anything else that helps you.
This won’t last forever pinkladystar, you will come through this and feel yourself again, you really will.
yes of course, support can never be there 24/7, except of course being able to ring Samaritans.
But you did so well to ring Samaritans, to help you in the darkest moment, to keep going.
You have been surviving pinkladystar, you can do it, though I know it feels like you can’t.
I am just about to go to the APP London cafe group now, I do hope you can have a weekend with some good moments , I imagine with some time with your daughter?
Hi there, not at all, you couldn’t upset anyone here. We’re a caring bunch, who really do care about women going through what we did. We’re here for you. And I know you’ve had some lovely replies before. Would it help to re-read some of the comforting words people have written to you? I know when I re-read messages people had written to me, I found it quite reassuring.
Is there a friend or family member with you tonight? Or someone you might be able to call upon to chat if you need to?
I’m sorry to hear you feel like you’re getting worse. I know my own recovery was very up and down from PP. Sometimes it’s hard to see that you’ll get better, I really do understand.
Keep talking to the professionals around you. I’m glad that you’ve your OT who is supporting you too.
I’m glad you’re with your friends pinkladystar. That’s really good. Keep with them. They love you. And we’re here for you.
Have your friends got the crisis numbers to phone if they need to? People care about you. You’re important. So do pick up the phone to speak to someone if you need to.
111 or 999 in an emergency. Samaritans are also there day or night on: 116 123.
We’re more than glad you’re here pinkladystar. Well done. I’ve been thinking of you while I was at work today. Take care. And keep talking lovely. Rachel x
Everyone is worthy of receiving the care of others pinkladystar. Including you. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way.
Keep taking one day at a time. If that feels too much, take an hour at a time, if that feels too much, take 10 minutes at a time. We’re here and we all care about you. Take care.
Hi pinkladystar,How are you feeling this morning? Hope that your friends stayed the night with you and that you were able to rest some. Take care we are all here for you
Hi emimum Still feeling pretty much the same but managed to make it through the night had a very rough night but my friend made sure I couldn't access anything
I am glad your friends helped you through the night, anniversaries are hard so be very gentle with yourself today. If you feel in crisis at any point today do check with the crisis team. Take care, will be thinking of you
Hi jenny yh she did i begged her to tell me how I could get it all to dissappear but she wouldn't Meeting my ot at 9am I asked her to come to my meeting with home treatment today
I hope things go ok with your appointments today, that’s good your OT will be coming with you - keep being really open and honest as you have been and pushing for that support.
I will be thinking of you today. So pleased your friend was there for you. Good luck with your appointment. Sending you much love and inner strengths. 🧡
Hi pinkladystar,I am sorry to read you had no rest last night and that you are experiencing vivid hallucinations. They can be very frightening at times.
Have you been in contact with your OT in the last 2 days? Has the team suggested a change on medication to help with your sleep?
That sounds really tough, I also struggled to sleep despite sleeping tablets when I was unwell. Are you still seeing the home treatment team every other day?I am sorry that the vivid hallucinations are so frightening, is your family or your friend with you this weekend?
Hi pinkladystar,The not sleeping is really hard, quite a few of my symptoms became less severe when I was able to start sleeping thanks to the medication.
Hope you were able to catch a little rest last night. Thinking of you
I am sorry to read that you have not had a reply from Shout. It must be very stressful for you when the night is approaching. Please do contact Samaritans if you need to talk to someone through the night. Thinking of you.
Hi pinkladystar, it sounds very very hard, I am sorry. Are you having an appointment this week with the home treatment team to let them know how you are feeling?
Hi pinkladystar, don't worry about replying, I am sorry that you had a bad day and evening. Its good that you are seeing your ot today, I am sorry that she won't be supporting you moving forward as you had a good relationship with her. Maybe it will be a good idea to ask your home treatment team about an update to your crisis plan, so that you can move forward with a bit more of certainty as to what support will be available to you.
I’m really sorry you’re feeling that you don’t think you can continue that’s really awful for you.
Is there anyone with you this morning? Or can you phone one of the numbers you’ve got to speak with someone? Even if you’re finding it hard to talk(?) maybe sitting with someone or on the phone in silence with a friendly person would give you some support?
Could you phone your crisis number? Or the Samaritans on 116 123? Please phone for medical help or visit A&E if you need to. We want you to get through this.
Sending all my best wishes and a hug. It’s an awful thing you’re going through, we do understand. It’ll get better, but you need to keep talking with everyone who cares about you - so that they can help.
I’m really sorry, you’ve had a worrying night by the sounds of it. It’s good that you’re in hospital, hopefully they’ll be able to help and offer all the right support. Tell them exactly how you’re feeling, especially that you feel you can’t carry on this way. Keep talking.
You must be exhausted 😔 you poor thing. Try to get some rest this evening, would some relaxing music help? I ask our Alexa to play lullaby’s which is nice and calm. Keep talking to every health professional you see pinkladystar. The specialists in mental health are there to support of course, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t speak about how you’re feeling with everyone you see too.
I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow as you have your ct scan. Sending hugs. It’ll be ok. The important thing is you’re accessing help.
I’m going to rest now, do you think you could try to do the same? I’ll message in the morning.
hi Pinkladystar I’m so sorry you are struggling. How are you feeling this morning? Just wanted to add there is also the SHOUT text message service on 85258 if you prefer to access support that way. Really hope you’ve got some company today and some things to look forward to. As Rachel says it will get better, even if it all feels too bleak right now. Best wishes,
hey Pinkladystar, it’s totally understandable to be scared. Hopefully you will have a lovely staff member there with you to help you through it. I know you might be seeing everything through a negative filter but please know you really aren’t a burden on other people. Your loved ones, and all of us here, just want you to get better and start to enjoy life again. Everyone is here to help and support you in your recovery. Best wishes and do take care, Kat x
hey Pinkladystar how are you doing today? Hope you’re beginning to see the end of this crisis, and getting some good support. We are all rooting for you!
Things are so difficult No dont see my ot as I'm being transferred to another worker in her team as apparently I need more intensive work but the lady is offon long term sick
I hope things will improve for you pinkladystar and a support network will come into place, where you feel at ease and comfortable to communicate with.
I hope you’re ok this evening, I’m switching off soon but do reach out if you’re struggling tonight - remember Samaritans and Shout are there 24/7 if you need a listening ear, I hope you’re ok and able to sleep.
Hi pinkladystar, I can listen, is there something you want to talk about? I will be switching off in an hour or so, but can keep company in the meantime
Hi pinkladystar, I am sorry to read you were in such a dark place. Nights are really tough, right? Hope you managed some rest last night. We are here when you need us.
I am so sorry, that sounds so hard. You are not alone, though, it may feel hopeless at the moment, but things will get better. Have you reached out for help to the crisis team?
So sorry to read you were struggling and hope you are ok. I remember not being able and not wanting to leave my bed as it was my safe space. So I hope you have support around you and professional help. Take care.
At times it does seem overwhelming so I hope the new team you have been transferred to have given you coping strategies, or better still a contact number when things are tough. Stay safe, I hope you have support today.
hi Pinkladystar I hope you’re doing ok this morning. What sort of coping strategies do you find helpful? I could try and share a few of my own if you’re looking for more. I like a nice easy self compassion exercise - it sounds a bit ridiculous but it really works. Essentially, you give yourself a bit of a hug (and some deep, slow breaths) and say out loud something like “Ouch, this really hurts!!”. Something about verbalising the pain out loud somehow starts to make it more bearable. Anyways I hope you’re well and do take good care of yourself,
I hope today has been ok for you. I’m sorry that you think the crisis team don’t seem interested when you ring. That’s a shame really as the bravest thing is to ask for help.
As mentioned earlier here, the Samaritans are there to listen 24/7 on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org Also for free confidential support text Shout to 85258 and they will get back to you.
I won’t go on as it’s very hard to concentrate when you’re not well. Just to add that BBC has the Headroom mental health toolkit at bbc.co.uk/headroom. If you click on support services at the top, under anxiety (general) there’s helpful guidance from Every Mind Matters including top tips to cope.
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