Relapse?

[NikkCourt99]

Hello everyone. I'm looking for a bit of advice, I have ppp, I spent a couple of months in a mother and baby unit and seemed to be doing really well in my recovery but recently I've been feeling like it's all going downhill. I'm of course freaking out that I'm getting really bad again but I just feel like my anxiety is on high alert and I'm constantly worried about what could happen. Has anyone else had this in recovery?

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Dear NikkCourt99,

congratulations on the birth of your precious little one. I am glad that you have found APP, you will find that there are brave mums just like you who will be able to empathise with great insight. I did not suffer with PP my daughter did. What I can say to you is that everyone is different but it is quite common for recovery from PP to be up and down. Hold on you have done so well so far, take it hour by hour, day by day you will get better. Be

kind to yourself, you have been through a shock and trauma at what should have been the most joyous time, you will know joy again.

I hope that you have a good support and mental health team, be honest with your doctors. Surround yourself if you can with understanding family and friends. I wonder if you have accessed the APP user guides.

You are stronger than you think.

Best wishes with a hug.

judith x

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello NikkCourt99

Welcome to the forum where you will find lots of help and shared experiences. I’m so sorry that you have PP and spent a couple of months in a mother and baby unit. I notice from your profile that you’re a first time mum so having PP must be very traumatic, as it was for me when I was 23, many years ago.

I think recovery from PP can be up and down with some days better than others, so try not to worry. I was under mixed general psychiatric care but did miss the ‘security’ of the unit when I eventually went home.

Being a new mum, coping with routine and recovering from PP is a lot to come to terms with. Have you been able to talk about your fears with family or friends? Also, the perinatal team should be able to support you until your baby is one year?

I think the main thing is to keep talking about it, although not easy with restrictions in place. Perhaps you could have a review with your GP too for reassurance?

It’s early days for you coming out of such a traumatic illness so try to take things slowly and make sure to find time to rest during your busy days as a mum.

I’m sure there will be other mums here with their advice for you. I don’t know if you have seen the PP Insider Guide “Recovery after Postpartum Psychosis” written by mums and professionals at app-network.org/what-is-pp/... which might be helpful. There are also shared experiences on the page.

Sorry for rambling ... I hope some of this helps. Take good care of yourself and please remember how amazing you are

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi NikkCourt99,

Nice to meet you and congratulations on the birth of your baby. I am so very sorry you had pp after the birth of your child some months ago.

I had pp in 2018 after the birth of my daughter and my recovery was also up and down. I was first under general psych for 10 days before going to the mbu were I stayed for a couple of months. In the first weeks of my mbu stay I saw a marked improvement in my mood and frame of mind, to the point were my husband and doctors started talking about discharge. I then suffered a setback and became very paranoid, showed reckless behaviour and then a deep depression followed. It was a big blow to my confidence, both in my recovery and as a first time mum. Things seemed quite unsurmountable at the time. But taking it step by step, day by day, it was possible to come out the other side. Its very common I think for recovery to be very up and down, its so discouraging when you are in the middle of it, but we have all been there and we can say that it truly gets better.

Like Lilybeth says be very kind to yourself on this early recovery period. Be in contact with your perinatal team as they are best placed to advise you and reassure you.

I hope that soon the good days start becoming more frequent than the bad ones. Write here whenever you feel like. We are all here for each other

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello NikkCourt99

I hope the support here has been helpful. I notice that your son is now 8 months and wonder if you have help from the perinatal team until he is 1 year? I’m not sure about follow-up after being in a mother and baby unit as I was under general psychiatric care during my PP but is it possible to ask their advice?

It’s not easy just to have a face to face chat with professionals due to restrictions is it? I think if you are struggling with anxiety and also trying to cope with ptsd due to a traumatic birth, it must be very stressful. I have had crippling anxiety in the past and it is awful.

I wonder if you could speak to your care team or GP and book a call back as you are constantly worried and trying to cope with so much? I hope you also have family support to reassure you. Thinking of you .... we are all here to talk if it helps.