I live in the USA and it has been 5 months since I suffered my PPP. One of the things that I experienced and still do to an extent ,besides the hallucinations, was cognitive decline as if I suffered a traumatic brain injury. Like, for example, right now, even after 5 months of the episode I still have some issues with word finding or memory problems. I have to get back to grad school soon and wondering how this is going to affect my performance. Did anyone experience similar cognitive issues, how long did it last, and if you ever eventually felt like your normal self?
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bukoroshe123
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I had pp in October 2018 and what you describe is very close to my own experience. 2 or 3 months after pp I still had a few episodes of echolalia where in a conversation I wanted to say something but would just repeat what the other person had said. Long term memory was also very patchy for the period when I was unwell and short term memory and concentration also suffered.
I can say that with time your cognitive abilities come back and you do go back to your old self. I was able to go back to work 8 months after suffering from pp. My memory from the period I was psychotic is still not fully there, but I think that is quite understandable considering the altered state of my mind and the medication I was on.
It is unsettling when you are recovering from pp to feel impaired and not yourself completely. At the time, like you, I was worried about what this will mean for me long term. But like many other mums you will meet on this forum, with time you will go back to yourself. Your mind has suffered a huge trauma, so the same as with any physical illness with time and therapy your cognitive abilities will come back.
I wish you all the best on your recovery journey, write here whenever you want to, I am sure you will find many other mums happy to share their experience with you which I hope you will find useful
Thank you very much EmiMum. You sharing the experiences is very helpful to me as it gives me hope and encouragement that I will be my own self soon. Thank you again.
So pleased you have reached out across the miles where you will find lots of help and support. You have already had some very good advice and shared experience. I would like to add that I think after only 5 months following such a traumatic episode you are doing well.
I had PP many years ago and can relate to how you feel. The hallucinations are so frightening aren't they but, thankfully, mine faded when the right medication was found that suited me. In the early stages of my PP I was completely switched off, my hand-eye co-ordination was so poor. I remember numerous occasions of spilling soup down my jumper when I was in the psychiatric unit, always missing my mouth!
As I had ECT as an intervention I did at times have a problem remembering certain things and being unable to hold a conversation. I think a lot of it was due to lack of confidence as I don't think we realise how much of a trauma we have been through and rather than giving ourselves time to heal, we try to carry on regardless.
I can say that I have regained my confidence and found my place again. In a way I feel that having PP has added so much more to life, not least being part of a unique group of mothers of courage.
There is a blog that you might find helpful and reassuring, "PP Soup - a nourishing mix of all things Postpartum Psychosis" written by a PP mum with contributions from other mums and professionals at ppsoupdotcom.wordpress.com/.
Wishing you all the best with your return to grad school. Perhaps you will be allowed extra time during assignments so that you are not overwhelmed. PP mums are truly amazing! Take care and please write again if it's helpful to you.
Thank you very much for sharing, Lilybeth. I agree with you about the lack of confidence and trying to carry on regardless. Perhaps, we should be more easy on ourselves... It is just so hard to be patient... It is like, I want myself back, NOW lol
I agree that we should be more easy on ourselves after such a challenge to our minds. I remember wanting to pick up where I left off (although I was under general psychiatric care for six months). I think when we've had a mental illness out of the blue there's a part of us that wants to dismiss it and get on but you must remember how hard you have battled to be well in only 5 months.
It's hard to be patient but just take a moment to realise that you need to take time out for yourself once in a while especially coping with a new baby; routine and possibly the effects of medication ..... on top of the pressure of returning to grad school. You will regain your confidence, slowly but surely. Try not to rush yourself .... you're doing great Take good care and stay safe.
I suffered with PP in nov 2015 and it took me 12 months before I recovered and 24 months before I felt like my true self. My memory issues were related to not being able to recall what I was doing leading up to my episode and i certainly cannot remember everything that had happened on the psychiatric ward.
Please give yourself grace and time.it does sound like you have been recovering well.
This forum is an amazing platform for answering your question!!
My cognitive functions really suffered during my experience with PP, with problems with memory, focus and basic tasks. 24 months on, things have improved substantially.
I do still have some issues, for e.g. with memory, but it’s difficult now to disentangle what might be a hangover from PP and what is simply a function of being a busy working Mum.....many of my friends with young children who didn’t have PP also say their memory isn’t in top form either!
As others have said, you’re still at a very early stage in your recovery and sound to be doing great! Recovery takes time. I wish you the best!
Reading in the USA as well. Thank you for your post. Feel quite alone in my symptoms. Have tried to share with people, but they are either minimized or I get weird looks. I am too having problems with memory and processing. It is almost like I have a stutter at time trying to get words out or will repeat the same word over again. My short term memory is shot as well. I have been experiencing symptoms on and off for 5 months. Hope that medication will start helping soon. Thank you again for sharing. it was very helpful.
Welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry to hear you feel quite alone in your symptoms in the USA.
As well as the support here for you, I wonder if you have contacted Postpartum Support International at postpartum.net where, depending on which State you live in, there might also be support locally for you? On the site under 'Get Help" International Support you will see the link to 'Find US Support'. Then a drop down list of States will appear offering to find local support.
It does take a while to shake off the after effects of such a traumatic illness and I hope you will find some relief when the medication has had time to work for you. I think as mums who experienced PP we tend to expect too much of ourselves too soon. So, if you can, please take your time to heal. You have already been through such an awful experience so now is the time to be kind to yourself.
Stay safe and take care ..... we are all here for each other.
thank you for your reply and pleased to meet you on this forum.
I just will be brief as I am busy home schooling my son.
I am living in the UK and have had PPP in 2010.
I felt very lonely for a long time and could not share my experience with people as I could not feel the compassion I needed at the time.
PPP is such a traumatising illness and just to reassure you, you are not on your own with your thoughts.
It took me 5 long years till I found APP and my suffering was great.
In my view point you never ever will be the same again, but it is a personal perspective and seen in a very positive light.
Changes are imminent, because we experience happiness and suffering in our life cycle and we are going to learn, whether it is consciously or subconsciously out of our experiences.
I have converted my life experience since my illness and ongoing Bipolar condition into positive energy.
Life can be beautiful again.
I hope you will be able to find your path, but it honestly helps to connect and exchange your experience with likeminded mums. People on this forum have been wonderful and I learnt to trust again.
Take good care of yourself...We are always happy to listen and not to judge x
I hope you have been able to find support in the USA with restrictions in place. Were you able to connect with Postpartum Support International? I hope your memory is slowly improving and medication is helping now. Take care ... stay safe.
I am so pleased you found this forum and a warm welcome.
I have had PPP in 2010 and was sectioned. The first year has been a blur, because of my negative experience in the hospital. My partner had to take care of me for a long time.
Before PPP I was an academic and whilst recovering I could not read anymore, because of such low concentration level. I must have been quite frustrated, because I wanted to read...
In addition my eye sight got worse and I could not see my baby anymore. An optician told me that this could happen with Psychosis (not evidence based, maybe side effects of meds).
It was a very stony path and on the 21. August 2012 I got my light back with the financial and emotional support of my partner in receiving laser treatment.
My memory system has improved, scars have been healing gradually. My long term memory is better than short term, but I live with bipolar and mind racing, thus concentration is like a roller coaster.
However, I can say my aptitude to learning and absorbing is of high capacity again, it is just that my methods of learning has shifted...
Take good care, for all I know and what I have read about other mums...you will improve in time.
Just like a lot of ladies who answered my question indicated, it should get better. For me, it is already better than , let's say, a few months ago, even though it is still not 100%. It takes me longer to concentrate and in many instances I have to read stuff several times or ask people to repeat. I am glad I am not alone in my symptoms ,though, and I hope things will start looking better for you too soon, Purlestone11.
I wont go into too much detail about my experience, but I just wanted to let you know that I had problems with my memory too after having had PP in 2015. It is difficult to know whether it was because of the actual illness or the treatment (I had medication and electroconvulsive therapy), but I wanted to let you know that this got better for me over time.
At the point when I started to make a recovery from the symptoms, there were huge chunks of time that I couldn't remember. I would also forget peoples names and what they had said to me and have a complete block on certain words. It was almost as you describe, like I had had some trauma to the brain. I thought I'd never be able to follow anything (like plots of films or books) or work again. But over time, this improved a lot. I guess I can only describe it as the pathways and networks of the brain connecting again and 'learning' how to work again?
Not only is PP a traumatic thing to recover from, but the illness and medications can take it's toll on the brain and body. If you are worried, do try to talk to your health care team if you can, but things will get better with time.
Same here! I'm in the US too and I'm trying to get back to work. I am a little hesitant to do so but I feel like I need to face my fear. I have had memory issues as well. I try to just do one thing at a time and I write stuff down a lot...
A few months on now and wondering how you are? I hope your symptoms are improving and you are taking things step by step. It must be hard returning to grad school at the moment in the USA. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself with study and coping at home as you are only months into recovery.
I hope you have support around you ..... we are always here to listen too. Take good care and be kind to yourself x
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