Did anyone feel like like whilst in pp that it took you deep into thinking about .. where we came from? What’s the future going to hold? What is the meaning to life ? Then into history , religion , philosophical thinking.
That it started to really make you think and curious about so much.
I feel like the world isn’t real and all set up and everyone’s watching me. Like robots everywhere
I remember that feeling.. like the people are all characters to your life I used to see strangers all in slow motion and like they were all looking me.. but really I was just in fast mode and glancing round quickly at everyone and noticing more plus being paranoid and scared.
I still now see a lot of symbols and pattens and coincidences in and about things, but in a nice and Rational way.
Hello dearest JAnuaryX,
an interesting question. I hope mums will be able to give you some feedback.
Reading and learning from this social site I personally have come to the conclusion that we all have been confronted with this traumatising illness, but the way how we received treatment and during PPP and in the after care varies tremendously. Therefore recovery is a multitude of diverse stories and experiences for those amazing mums.
Again with regards to your question: In my case PPP (2010) was misdiagnosed in the first instance, I experienced negligence and physical abuse in a mixed gender psychiatric hospital. In addition the only way how they could cope with my ongoing episodes was to put me into isolation.
My partner who was my full time carer had been explaining a lot to me throughout these years, but the medical file highlighted a lot of additional facts, - in my viewpoint devastating due to lack of knowledge by professionals.
My memory has been erased, shut off, but I have been living with flash backs for a long time and my partner and I suffered with PTS many years after. In addition my NHS Partnership did not recognise my Bipolar.
After 8 years I finally received a diagnosis externally and with contacts via APP.
By the way I am a happy mum, but my dreams and ambitions have changed after PPP...one moves on and I do not believe that we go back to who we were. I am very appreciative of life and enjoy each day.
Wishing you well
x
Hello JAnuaryX
I had PP in 2006, and I definitely had lots of thoughts similar to what you have described.
When I look back, it was like my brain was in 'overdrive' and I could not stop myself from thinking of anything and everything (sleep deprivation was a major factor in my illness). I am not usually a religious person but when I was poorly I had lots of thoughts (and delusions) about religion, I truly believed that I was Jesus and my Mother was God at one point during my illness, and that I could save the world but I didn't know how I could do this! This was one of the many delusions I had when I was poorly.
I have had a couple of 'relapses' over the years where I have experienced severe sleep deprivation/anxiety, and my brain always seems to go into 'overdrive' again and I do think of similar things, but I am able to rationalise my thoughts.
So I think a lot of people who have experienced psychosis will have had similar thoughts to yourself.
Take care
xxx
Hi JAnuaryX,
Sorry to hear that you too experienced PP.
I think that everyone’s experience varies hugely, from what I understand of speaking with others and reading about it anyway.
Hope you’re doing ok.
Xx
Hi JanuaryX
I most certainly was thinking on a deep level like you say. I was reading the bible non stop and making lots of notes. The voices in my head were good and bad as in god and the devil, which was very scary and I had no control of it.
I think it can be quite common to have religious thoughts during PPP
Take Care
Teresa x
Hello JAnuaryX
Thinking of history, I found the documentary entitled "The Queen's mother-in-law" very interesting which covered Prince Philip's mother (Princess Alice) battle with mental illness. She was taken abroad and locked away in a sanitorium from her family, I think she even missed family weddings! I related to her as I was taken to a Victorian asylum when recovering from PP many years ago. It was very sad to see her at her son's wedding wearing a nun's habit and walking down the aisle. However, in later life she did live in freedom and helped many people.
I think having gone through PP it does give you a different outlook on life ...... and thankfully we are here to tell the tale. Take care.
Sharing with mothers groups
How were you treated by others when you had PP? 
How to get your life back together
Worried about getting pp again
The Story of my Postpartum Psychosis (Manic) / Depression / Sleep Deprivation The story of how my Family, Friends & Midwifes saved my life.
