Desperate for children: My friend is... - Action on Postpar...

Action on Postpartum Psychosis
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Desperate for children

Bluelady-sing
Bluelady-sing

My friend is desperate for children, frightened of services

28 Replies
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Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Pumpkins

Is your friend in the UK? If so, I think she could be reassured if a pre-conception appointment is arranged with her GP or health professional. There are also primary mental health care teams to offer support and advice if necessary. In my experience although I was suspicious of professionals during my illness, they were very supportive and a great help in my recovery.

has had bed experiences of professionals they seemed to be against her having children

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer
in reply to Bluelady-sing

I'm sorry to hear your friend has had bad experiences. Perhaps she could talk about her experiences with her GP for reassurance and advice. Take care.

If it well planned and she has a lot of support (with medication) chances are low of relapse. I speak from experience . She coukd also have a good medication plan if there was a relapse and place / family ect to look after her children. Even discuss with social worker's begore to ease her mind. Set a what if plan

Bluelady-sing
Bluelady-sing
in reply to boat1

My friend has a gynae problem. Might need fertility treatment.

Surely it would be inappriopriate for services to intervene it ivf conceived

Bluelady-sing
Bluelady-sing
in reply to boat1

What s the point of her having children if it so negative to start with. Having a baby for social services to then farm it out to family or foster carers

boat1
boat1
in reply to Bluelady-sing

Its possible things could go ok. I had v high risk and just had two babies and no relapse. And i stopped meds in pregnancy suddenly. She could work out a plan with them / social services. If she got ill then what happens ie mother and baby unit. Is there serious risk they would take the child. For what reason as many ppl have post natal illness. Ans with proper care plan she could avoix getting ill. A perinatal specialist, i had an epidural to reduce pain stress . Need support for night feeds.

Bluelady-sing
Bluelady-sing
in reply to boat1

You mean plan with the midwife for a mother and baby unit.

What about in the future. I. E when the child is older. In the event of ill health perhaps they would use family

Bluelady-sing
Bluelady-sing
in reply to boat1

Thanks for this advice. The planning stage needs to go well

boat1
boat1
in reply to Bluelady-sing

I meant do a forward plan with social services if possible. But there needs to be a family member / partner who could help for night feeds and /or in the event of relapse

Bluelady-sing
Bluelady-sing
in reply to boat1

My friend may end up a single parent. Hopefully not, desperate for a baby.

Tell me what was your experience?

Was the midwife supportive, was all negative with MH issues overshadowing everything. It is easy for things to become complicated and negative.

Which does not help.

Did you get referred to a perinatal service, or did they leave you alone.

boat1
boat1
in reply to Bluelady-sing

I got referred. But got a very good perinatal consultant. The epidural and extra medication helped me a lot. A small dose of quetiapine to rest and lithium post baby. Of course medication can be takenduring pregnancy

Bluelady-sing
Bluelady-sing
in reply to boat1

Medication in pregnancy is risky foetal abnormalities

Jenny_at_APP
Jenny_at_APPAdministrator
in reply to Bluelady-sing

Hi Pumpkins

Many medications can be taken during pregnancy with low risk to the baby. Have you seen the planning pregnancy guide? There’s a section on medication in there - app-network.org/wp-content/...

Hope this helps x

Feed up of negativity. Self fulfilling prophecy I think

boat1
boat1
in reply to Bluelady-sing

Yes thats true lithium after 26 wks safe. Many can be taken after 1st trimester

Bluelady-sing
Bluelady-sing
in reply to boat1

Getting pregnant with no hassles from any services is the main thing.

Enjoying her full human rights to family life is essential.

I look forward to the cute baby pics, cake and celibrations!!

She will make a fab mum!

I had a pre-conception planning meeting, took medication in pregnancy, had great perinatal healthcare, baby is healthy. Someone made a referral to social services, and they have been intrusive and stressful. There’s no case open now, but they continue to pass my details around. I’ve decided to withdraw my baby from nursery because they are behaving like social services. The stigma of mental health is really upsetting.

Who made the social services referral? Did you have a partner?

What need and how much did you take

The family support worker at the local Children’s Centre made the referral to social services, and our nursery recently contacted them too.

I took Lithium and haloperidol in late pregnancy. Still taking lithium, and started sertraline as I had low mood after my husband returned to work.

Them putting you through the stress of services. Does not help

I had the stress of a social services referral too. Nursery, my gp, perinatal team , midwife all told them there were no concerns whatsoever 111 made the referral it was horrific the case was closed yet their report was full of errors and made me out to be terrible despite me being stable. I have complained but they haven’t even answered my complaint. I found them very discriminatory to Mother’s with pre existing mental health issues.

Ellie_at_APP
Ellie_at_APPAdministrator
in reply to Becciandbump

Hi becciandbump that sounds like an awful experience. It’s good you had others who were able to say they had no concerns.

I think that with the new specialist perinatal mental health teams across the whole of England and generally increased awareness of mental health that things will get better as those teams will be offering training and support across all professionals and offering the specialist support to mums. I know that social workers have accessed the training APP are delivering for example.

I have heard some positive stories of the way social workers have supported mums to access support they needed etc, but like you say I think many more need much more knowledge, awareness and understanding of mental health.

Take care

Ellie

111?

How did they become involved in the first place?

I have never used them myself I often wondered what they do?

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer
in reply to Bluelady-sing

Hello Pumpkins

NHS 111 is a service introduced to make it easier to access NHS services in England. You can call 111 when you need help fast but it's not a 999 emergency.

Best wishes.

111

Why did they make the social services referral

Thanks yeah I’m sure it will improve over time but I did feel like there was very much like a lack of understanding I feel that more training is needed

Ellie_at_APP
Ellie_at_APPAdministrator
in reply to Becciandbump

Yes definitely, I’m sure you’re right. I hope that things just keep improving.

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