Uncontrollable rage

[MrsN91]

Hi all, I am now nearly 6 months post partum and nearly 3 months post psychosis. I am feeling a lot better in a lot of ways but i am really struggling with my temper. I am getting to the point where i am scaring my older children (6 and 3), breaking things, calling my husband home from work to calm me down.

Has amyone else gone through this? I don't know to manage it.

Thanks

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi

Welcome to the forum. Thanks so much for posting. It's great you've found us, and well done for reaching out, and being so open with how your struggling.

I had PP myself in 2011 after the birth of my son. It is such a trauma, and recovery is so up and down, and with so much to come to terms with.

It sounds horrible, the struggles you're going through, particularly feeling angry. I think feeling angry about what happened and generally irritable and upset, is really normal after PP, though of course this is expressed in different ways with different people. It sounds like you are worried about how it is affecting your children, and that you feel out of control which must be so scary.

I just wondered what kind of support you have (professional and personal)? I'd really recommend reaching out to your support - I hope they will be able to help you with some of these issues, perhaps by therapy for example? And perhaps your husband could share with professionals too, how things are from his perspective? It's so important that you get help, for yourself and for your family. If it is scaring your children, as you say, it's so important you get help. I had CBT while recovering and I found this really helpful, particularly for me in dealing with negative thoughts which then fuelled the depression I had afterwards.

I really hope you can get the right support. You really aren't alone, I'm sure others will share their experience too. I found this post too for a while ago, which described some things that you're experiencing too: healthunlocked.com/app-netw...

Thinking of you, it's so great you found us and have reached out

Ellie X

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello MrsN91

I'm sorry you're struggling nearly 3 months post psychosis with your temper. Well done for reaching out as according to what I've read postpartum rage is quite common but is a symptom no one is talking about. Probably for fear of being judged but there is no one here to judge or offend.

It must be so frightening that you are unable to control your anger. Perhaps it would be a good idea if you could find out what triggers it ...... does it happen when you are feeling overwhelmed ...... does it only happen at home? I think you should make a double appointment with your GP to discuss any therapy that might be available. It might be an idea to keep a note of when it happens and how long it lasts so that your GP will see how much you are struggling. It's good that you have a supportive husband to keep you calm and I hope you find a therapy which helps.

Take care and please write again if it helps you.

[Chick44nzrn]

Hello Mrs N91 . How are you ? Did you get the help you needed? I hope so . Reading about what you are going through reminded me of the rocketing extreme emotions that somehow get mixed up with this condition . Often anger is the conduit we use to express other very strong emotions such as fear and anxiety. Did you get professional help through contacting GP or out of hours CMHT or even A and E? Don’t be tempted to feel embarrassed or ashamed as it’s a condition that we can’t control. Skilled professional intervention should give you a programme to suit you .. I do wish you the very best and hope you are feeling more at ease . When I had PPP I was convinced I would throw my baby from the fourth floor . It was terrifying , but he’s now a happily married healthy man with his own baby boy !good luck. Thinking of you x Denizt

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I am thinking of you, too MrsN91,

when suffering with this traumatising illness, I was uncontrollable until the right medication was found. Before and throughout my pregnancy I was an extreme cyclist and thus, still physically extremely strong. Nobody was safe around me, - my hallucinations were very real to me at the time...

Challenging behaviour manifests in many different ways, aggression is a means of communication, because all the other tools have shut down. Please, do not feel guilty or ashamed...PPP is the cause for our actions...

I hope you can establish a support network with appropriate professionals and experience therapeutic healing. Family and friends you trust a part of the team. I hope you can trust and talk, soon.

We are here to listen.

x