Are there any single mums

[Bluelady-sing]

Where you penalised by services or did they help you

[Jocelyn_at_APP Partner APP]

Hi Pumpkins,

I don't anything about services but I volunteer with an organisation called Home-Start.

home-start.org.uk

It is a charity that supports families with children under 5. You can self refer or some times the health visitor or GP do. You have a volunteer that comes for a couple of hours a week for emotional and/or practical support.

Let me know if you have any questions about them.

[Hidden]

Good morning Pumpkins,

"trust" has been a big issue for me and I like to be rather cautious.

However, there have been wonderful people around supporting, advising and informing over the last few years and yes, I believe, if there is not enough awareness raising, stigma arises...whether being a single mum or not. Yet, I believe one has to cope with more challenges, when not being supported by a partner...

People are often afraid of the unknown, not only when struggling with mental health issues, part of fight-flight instinct. Sometimes there is that bit of "ignorance", "ostrich tactic", or being oblivious to things people do not want to be confronted with whether it is friends, families, work etc.

What helped me a lot were those support groups where other people with a variety of mental health issues exchanged their experiences when being confronted with public services, "authorities". There is no doubt that discrimination occurs on many levels, - mental health issues is not written on your fore head. We developed in a way a peer support strategy discussing and problem solving through exchange of personal case studies, issues such as visits to GP and trouble with the receptionist, ATOS issues, DWP etc...

Improving skills and building on self esteem and confidence and trying to accomplish little challenges is part of your recovery and moving forward.

Thinking of you and hope you will be able to nourish your well being in your recovery.

x

[Asppp13 Volunteer]

Hi there Pumpkins,

I’m not sure if I’ll be much help as I only became a single mum a year after my initial episode of PPP. So I was still married at the time I was admitted to hospital.

I never felt penalised by services and actually quite the reverse. My care coordinator qualified in social work has been an increadible support. I similarly felt I was treated with a lot of understanding by the health visitor, teachers and GP during the year both before and since separation with my husband. Especially in schools they see lots of families in our situation.

Although most of the mum’s I met when I had my first baby (nearly eight years ago) were mostly married they still helped me through the separation and transition into being a single mum. I now have a very diverse group of mum friend’s some of whom are married and others single mums, plus a few dads too.

Hoping that helps you a little and that you find as I do that a lots of single mum’s often help each other out and meet up quite frequently together with their respective children.

I would agree with Jasa that there are more challenges when not supported by a partner. In my case my family lived quite far away at the time but my parents and sister made big sacrifices while I was in hospital and during my recovery. Hope you have some family close by as it can be tough doing it alone.

Wishing you well in recovery as a single parent and certainly hope you get treated equally by services you come into contact with going forward.

[Asppp13 Volunteer]

P.S. I can vouch for Home Start being a really good organisation and they helped us tremendously with our three under five.

[Bluelady-sing]

thanks I am planning to see my Gp soon o discuss plans for a baby as I am 41 this might be my only chance, plus If I change my mind by then I will be too old as I have PCOS

[Mudgette]

Hi Pumpkins,

I'm a single mum, i suffered with PPP in March 2016 when my daughter was about 3 weeks old. I was sectioned and looked after in a mother and baby unit for nearly 3 months.

I didn't feel like i was penalised by services. I also have no family in the country so my support network is pretty weak.

They were pretty good with me. Are you having problems or feeling like your being treated differently?

Lots of love,

Natalie xx