My daughter has been refused help in any of our "local" M&BU's..local meaning within 100 miles..so she is still in the mental health unit..but it seems to be helping..she went into a very dark place 2 weeks ago and was self harming..and saying the 'man' was coming to do bad stuff..she got unreasonably angry with bump and tried to punch herself in the tummy..she couldn't ..she then went for a bath..and for reasons I cant explain , seems to have turned a corner..now we seem to be spending all our time at the hospital getting him monitored as she is convinced something is wrong with him..he is moving but nothing like he was..his heartbeat is fine, but she cant shake the feeling that something is wrong...she said the same about her first child before the 20 week scan..she said the night before the scan something would be wrong with his feet..she had watched a documentary about tailpipes ..used to be called club feet...and he was diagnosed with that..her second , as soon as he was born she said theres something wrong with his breathing....the midwife hkept telling her he was fine..I couldn't hear anything, not could his dad, but she was insistent that a dr examine him..and turned out he had pneumonia and spent days in SCBU..so her saying something is wrong makes me listen..she has text the midwife so fingers crossed she will get answers..oh and she has cholestastis...she has it with her last child so its not a straightforward pregnancy..she did say last night that where she has spent the past 26 weeks not caring about him, now she cares she thinks she could lose him..please keep everything crossed that all is ok xx
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RedRosie36
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I’m glad to hear your daughter seems to have turned a corner and is no longer trying to hurt herself or the baby. I do hope things are ok with the baby, how odd (and amazing) that she seems to have known or sensed those things about her first two babies... fingers crossed all is well.
That's unfortunate that your daughter can't get into an MBU but at least she is somewhere that she has access to help.
Make sure you look after yourself as well, as I am sure it is difficult for you as well.
Sending positive thoughts and crossing everything.
xx
Dearest RedRosie36,
I am sorry that your daughter has not been allocated an MBU place as of yet. I wonder whether it could happen in the near future?!
Your daughter is still battling this traumatising illness.
After giving birth to my beautiful son, my health was deteriorating very quickly and at the time I needed urgent professional psychiatric help.
In your daughter's case professionals will put all their efforts and know-how into motion in order to help your daughter.
It is a very emotional and upsetting time for everybody involved and please, make sure you look after yourself, too.
Maybe journalising your events, activities and information throughout this period including positive developments will help you to digest, too. You are trying to be so incredibly strong for your daughter...
Keep in touch, whenever you think it will help to share the burden.
I hope your daughter can be reassured by the midwife that all's well with the baby. It's very unfortunate that she hasn't been offered a place in a mother and baby unit but I'm glad that she has settled into the unit. I was under general psychiatric care as there were no MBUs when I had my children years ago and I did eventually fully recover, so there is always hope.
It must be a very stressful time for you, so please take care of yourself and factor in a break in your busy days.
Hi RedRosie, no pressure to reply. I just wanted to say I was thinking of you and your family, and hoping your daughter is OK and that her mood is improving, and that her baby is OK too. Take care X
She is doing remarkably well..at the minute..she is being discharged from the unit and going home..but with the understanding she will be readmitted if she dips again..she had been saying she was fine and nothing was wrong..to now saying she is feeling so much better and cant believe she thought she was well..she is concerned about the baby..and has no thoughts about getting him out, so thats good...she is now 32 weeks and will be induced at 38 weeks, or possibly earlier due to the colistatus..there is a plan for a M&BU once baby is here..and fingers crossed it will be in the brand new unit in Exeter..we know its already over subscribed so they said they will look at everyone on a case by case basis, but they agree that she will need a place..its just wether it will be there or poole.
Thank you all for the wonderful support you have shown..its wonderful to know someone is listening xx
Hi RedRosie this is really great to hear, I'm glad she is doing better, and able to come home now. I hope that she stays well at home. And I hope too that she will get a place at the MBU, it's good that you know that that is being planned for, as long as there is place.
Take care of yourself, and I'm so glad you've found this forum helpful. It is such a supportive place, we are all so passionate I think, having been there ourselves, and we are all here for you XX
Well ladies, things have taken a turn ..the unit Dr has decided against discharge ..he would rather keep her bed there in case things got bad again. but that she should have long weekends with her family ..its just as a precaution as they couldn't guarantee a bed for her..they would rather keep her there until she is 36 weeks and then discharge her then send her home and not be sure of a place if it was needed..she is not overjoyed with that but understands the logic.. she does feel a bit like a fish out of water in there now but is chatting with lots of the patients and getting on with things..
Although it's probably disappointing for your daughter not to be discharged, I think the decision will give you peace of mind that she's safe. During my recovery I was allowed home at first for one night, then gradually building to a weekend over time. I think it was a good decision as I found it difficult to settle at home at first. In those early days I was pleased in a way to be going back to the unit where I felt safe. As my confidence grew stronger I was eventually discharged and happy to be home.
As your daughter is now 32 weeks it's not too long to wait ..... she seems to have settled in and understands it's probably for the best. Hopefully she will eventually be accepted into a mother and baby unit for specialist care.
Remember to take time out for yourself. We are all here to support you. xx
Hello RedRosie36,
some very wise words spoken by Lilybeth...in my opinion it maybe best to be under direct care, because of your daughter's condition and being extra vigilant about her mental health needs.
From my documents I know that I have had a transition period where my partner took me out for a day and then for weekends...before I was discharged from hospital. It also helped my partner to test whether he could cope and look after me for 6 months full time and then part time, and of course taking care of our baby. A lot of pressure and yes, we did it!!!
I hope your daughter's needs will be continuously evaluated so that the right decisions can be made including the transfer to a MBU when the time is right...
Wishing you well...please, do take care of yourself, too. Such emotional times ...
xxx
Hi Red Rosie does your daughter have access to ultrasound scanning to see where the baby is lying? If she is not well enough yet to have a scan then may be the midwife or nurse can test the foetal heart rate. hormones and lack of sleep along with her other health problems
must be playing havoc with her mental health. Is your sister ok with cow's milk as sometimes lactase intolerance might affect her mental health as well as vitamin b12 deficiency Thyroid levels can also affect mood swings and give rise to high blood pressure. Hope your darling daughter will be right as reign when the babe is born. A hot milky drink like cocoa can help sleep as they contain opioids . There is some truth in the old wives tales we have heard from our families! What a roller coaster!
Just wondering how your daughter is? Has she been able to have a long family weekend? Another two weeks have passed since you last posted so not much longer to go now to 36 weeks. I hope things are not too stressful for you.
She was discharged...the powers that judge these things decided she is well enough to go home ..its been going ok..she is still having very low moods at night in particular but she and her husband are coping..just..she is now over 34 weeks and the baby is being induced at 38 weeks so getting closer all the time..
She does seem to be bonding with the baby..fingers crossed it will continue after his birth, and I do hope that if there is no medical intervention things might go well....
They are looking to move to a 3 bedroom house...she wants to do it within the next 4 weeks but I'm not sure the stress would be good, I'm not sure it will be any easier after the baby is here...stuck between a rock and a hard place..
Thank you for checking in with me..I just felt I was taking up a lot of space when there is nothing really to report..
I will keep you all in the loop as it gets closer..
On a much brighter note, we now have a new M&BU in Exeter...its way over subscribed but its there..and it offers a light in a whole lot of darkness xx
Thanks for taking the time to reply. It's good to hear your daughter is home and bonding with the baby although she has low moods at night. It must be a very anxious time for you in these last few weeks.
Moving house is stressful in itself but I can understand. Will your daughter be living near to you? I had a few house moves following my recovery from PP with my first and second sons as I wanted to get away from the memories of my frightening delusions. My husband went along with this although I never talked to him about my fears as I was carrying unfounded guilt. House prices were much lower at the time. I suppose there's no easy time for a house move but hopefully it will all go to plan
That's great news about the new MBU in Exeter. Hopefully when the time comes, if necessary, your daughter will be offered a place or even regular daily home visits from professionals, which I had with my second son.
You're a great support to your daughter in her time of need. Remember to take a break yourself in the busy days ahead. xx
Thank you so much for your up-date RedRosie36.
Yes, the MBU Exeter, Wonford Unit is opening its doors on the 26.March. However, there are only 4 beds allocated, thus I can imagine that there is already a waiting list.
On a positive note there is lots of collaborative work going on via Devon Partnership for the preparation of the 8 bedded new built facilities for March 2019.
I hope your daughter will receive appropriate home care. I feel so passionate about the right welfare and support for women, who suffer peri and post natal mental health issues. Now my glass is half full, because I can see appropriate care is being implemented regionally.
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