Question for everyone

[MichelleO]

Wondering who knew they were having auditory hallucinations? Or did someone else notice before you? Tia

[Nini1989]

Hello, Tia. I had PPP in November 2016 following birth of my first lovely son. I also experienced auditory hallucinations, but they seemed so logical and real that I could not understand that they were mere hallucinations. My husband and mom were staying with me and everyone was calling them to congratulate us and to ask about me and my son. So, I just started to hear constant phone rings (which maybe were even real) and voices of my close relatives crying over me, praying for my soul, saying that they could not imagine how evil and what a sinner I was, commenting my words and actions and sobbing so, I just thought I was listening to phone conversations. My mom spotted my strange behaviour. She said that I was standing still and trying to hear something. Also, when things went really bad, I told my family that I was evil and in reality did not love anyone. My mom said who told you that? Why are you saying such things? I said that my aunt and my cousion told me when they came visiting. My mom was just terrified because my cousin never came to see me(( hope this is somehow helpful and get well soon.

[MichelleO in reply to Nini1989]

So I just need to make sure I'm not alone after birth in case this time I am unaware of my hallucinations. I'm stressed out because I need a plan in place and im struggling to find out who I'm going to stay with and how I'm going to assure no one leaves me alone. That's the hard part because everyone works. My counselor thinks I need a mood stabilizer (we talked about lithium) but it won't kick in right after birth and I think that's what I'm going to need.

[Hidden]

Dear Tia,

how are you feeling and how do you cope, when struggling with auditory hallucinations?

I was sectioned in 2010 and must have struggled a lot, because I was kept in a confined room/solitude possibly 6 times or more for long periods & when episodes were at its peak. It took several weeks till professionals found drugs in order to battle my PPP. Thus, a long time of sleep deprivation and a lot of suffering. I remember horrific hallucinations, because I have had quite a few flash backs, after I recovered from the Psychosis.

Because of 'menstrual issues' my senses are extremely hyper, but not necessarily 'spot on',meaning I have to distinguish what is real or just 'my made up reality'. What is my coping mechanism:

- when the bells are ringing or other noises I can not make out I get reassurance from my partner...I just ask him...he usually knows when I am struggling and communicates with me -

- communicating about your feelings-anyone you trust will do for support i.e. GP, care coordinator, support worker in my case

- throughout my recovery I have had to cope with very high stress levels in my life such as loosing two very close relatives: I knew that I needed professional help and joined 3 support groups (30 hours) throughout those difficult times

- my choice was to be open about my PPP in order to make it easier for me to support my son in nursery and school, because of my diagnosed agora and social phobia

- I can not cope with too many noises around me and sometimes wear ear plugs, or listen to music in order to relax or cycle...

- Because of Insomnia for 5 years I painted a lot at night in order to stop my mind racing, however, battling the symptoms of auditory, visual and smell hallucination I needed to find a way of sleeping better; I believe my yoga and meditation, gardening and regular exercising helps, including a healthy diet...Hurray I am starting to find sleep this year and its marvelous!

- I embrace the momentum and all in stepping stones!!!

Even though we all experience a very traumatising illness, at the end we will find light again...

Wishing you well, x

[MichelleO]

Hmm I kinda spotted mine myself I realized I wasn't sleeping and then and That's when I stared hearing things. And I would hear things occasionally always at night and it was just a second and then I'd be like what the hell again and be scared. But in between I suffered from really bad obsessive thoughts and fears. And still struggling with the occasional auditory hallucination at night.

[Hidden]

Hello again MichelleO,

how are you?

Not being able to sleep really affects our own health and welfare, life style, routine and people around us.

I was thinking about you and wonder whether the professionals, who are involved are supporting you in developing a birth and health care plan whereby your wishes and needs are the template...communicating about feelings, needs and how one wants to be prepared reduces fear and anxiety.

Thinking of you,

x

[MichelleO]

There kind of in the beginning of putting a plan together but trying to get there. I'm more confused the past couple of days so looking forward to clearer answers at next appointment. I haven't been losing sleep though I've actually been sleeping better waking up less in the middle of the night. The auditory hallucinations don't keep me up there just a brief second and then gone and I'm usually so tired I don't get bothered by it.

[Hidden]

Hello MichelleO,

thank you for your reply and up-date.

I am so pleased that you find some sleep, because it really helps us to find some inner peace and is part of our healing process. I am so grateful when I have a good night sleep, I seem to be in much better shape the following day and can get on with my daily routine.

You are doing well MichelleO, all in stepping stones. Finding clarity in our mind and how we want to proceed gives us a selection of tools we can fall back to, if needed. Speaking about feelings helps professionals and loved ones to understand better.

Even though I am very flexible, I realise planning does help me to focus.

Off to my Yoga today

Look after yourself

[Tyshan]

With my ppp I knew they were auditory hallucinations. You know it's in your head and I found out on my own