Question

[MichelleO]

How is it that after 15 months post Partum I still have problems with voices ? Is this possible or could I have just developed schitzofrenia ? A little confused and my doctor is foreign and I can't understand him at all so I can't have a conversation about it but until I see a new doctor I wanted to see what this could be ?

[Mims2014]

Is there no one else you can talk to other than the Dr you mention.

Do you have a CPN / care coordinator? Or GP?

I didn't have voices so I can't really help much sorry, I was just completely out of it during pp xx

[MichelleO in reply to Mims2014]

No

[Tyshan]

If you're still hearing voices you have to change your medication. Go to your local hospital emergency section and speak with someone. It may be your schizophrenia however with help they will go away again

[MichelleO in reply to Tyshan]

Well I wasn't hearing anything until I came to my moms and she really gets under my skin she abuses some medication lately and I just balled all day yesterday and have even feeling like an elephant is stomping on my chest and I can't stay here I'm having anxiety about telling her I want to leave and in order to leave I have to find someone to drive back with me and pay for their ticket and the only one I have is my friend from high school and I'm waiting to hear back from her mom and I just really hope she says yes because I can't have setbacks like this i was doing so good and now I'm back to freaking out

[missot]

No!! I was still hearing voices till 19months after my daughter was born. It took till I was on 20mg of olanzapine and my 4th stay in a psych ward to get rid of them and a year later I'm free of them and off the meds too. I also panicked that I actually had an underlying mental health issue. I would say that u should speak to ur CPN and ur Dr and explain how distressing these are. X

[MichelleO in reply to missot]

I'm currently on seroquel it's like the 6th anti psychotic I've been on and it was mainly working but going through a set back right now and hoping it goes away when I get back to comfort zone

[missot in reply to MichelleO]

I was put on quetiapine and citalopram as soon as I become ill 3weeks after birth. I got all the way up to 1000mg and it didn't work so I ended up on fluoxetine and chlorpromazine. That didn't help much either so I got put on venlafaxine and lithium. I got olanzapine added in Dec 2015, 15months after I had my daughter. X

[MichelleO in reply to missot]

And the olanzapine is what worked for you ?

[missot in reply to MichelleO]

I would have to say so! I started on 5mg then slowly increased to 20mg and it took to 20mg for the voices to disappear. Tho it did make me abit detached from things. Also the weight gain is horrendous! But on the whole it's what got me better. Since I've come off it in march I have lost 2stone thou x

[angviolet]

I was also on 20 mg of Olanzapine and that worked for me too, It is very strong and you sleep all night and feel really sluggish in the day time but after being on it a few weeks I stopped seeing all the horrible images in my head and stopped feeling so scared. I gained 20kg's while i was on it. but I'd rather that, than to still have those problems. Hope you find a solution, everyone responds differently to the medication. I was on an antidepressant too. But your living situation definitely contributes so much to your mental health, living in calm environment is a godsend but not everyone has that opportunity. Take care you will get there don't give up.

[Hidden]

Hello Michelle,

I do believe it has a lot to do with our stress levels.

After PPP, hospitalisation and being cared for full time by my partner I improved. My recovery was slowly , but I gradually got better with the help of a good support network and a safe and secure sanctuary-my home.

I believe we are far more sensitised after our traumatising experience of Post Partum Psychosis and our recovery & health depends on emotional and social factors. Those influential factors can have a significant effect on your well being.

Unfortunately my father passed away in 2013 and then my partner's mum. I have had to be extremely focused in not getting poorly again. I have had bells ringing and lots more throughout those difficult times. I was in a support group and then became a voluntare for those groups in the NHS.

I am using a lot of therapeutic techniques and lead a happy life with my big and little man, despite the occasional obstacles.

Look after yourself,

Sabine

[MichelleO in reply to Hidden]

Yeah that's what's happening I get put in a situation that triggers my anxiety and then I start hearing things

[suzannah0]

I remember that. I thought i had schizophrenia but i didnt. Just breathe, relax, distract yourself so the thoughts go away, and get to a doctor straight away. Keep taking medicine.

[MichelleO in reply to suzannah0]

Yeah I'm nervous because I am no longer comfortable living with my mom like I did when I first had my son there's a lot of issues and there is no else to watch after my kids if I get worse when this baby comes unless I want to trigger my psychosis the last 2 times I went there I was hearing things both times so I can't have that it's really scaring me as time approaches and my husband leaves right after the baby is born which is unfortunate :/

[Hayleynevin]

Oh Michelle poor thing. Can you change your doctor to someone you can understand? I would think it's very important you speak to someone about this? Are you still on meds? I had PP 2 years ago now and recently I've been 'seeing things' and 'hearing things' that aren't real. It really freaked me out. Will discuss with my psychiatrist at next appointment. X

[MichelleO in reply to Hayleynevin]

I need to change my doctor but there is slim Drs around here for some reason and oh man that is terrible this mood disorder is really bothering me the women who have to struggle with this for years my god can we just figure out what causes this and have better treatment ugh! I hope you get answers soon this is really unfair !

[Hidden]

Hello MichelleO,

how are you? Hope you have some me-time and allow yourself to relax.

When I came out of hospital my partner was looking after me full time. Summer 2010 till the following year March/April has been a foggy memory with the odd flash backs.

The side effects of medication were quite "lethal"...physically and mentally, but that was the only choice in helping me to recover from PPP. It affected my speech, mobility, suffered from constipation, it pretty much suppressed all my emotions...memory loss, concentration level etc. In my opinion medication and negative experiences when in hospital care has contributed to my health issues today.

However, I was weaned off after one year, because of a marvelous professional and the support of my partner. I do not take any anti-depressants, despite my mood swings and severe anxieties...

After PPP we ought have a choice in how to recover. I am trying to enjoy my moments and often use stepping stones and coping mechanism. I focus on yoga, meditation, long walks, gardening, painting...especially when too many cobwebs inside my brain, meaning when emotions are taking over.

I have no hate, no regret and I am grateful for the people who helped me to survive. The experiences have helped me to even appreciate life in a very special way.

Take good care of yourself,

Sabine

[MichelleO]

Having a hard time sense my set back at my moms I ended up cutting my stay short and driving 17 hours by myself with my son. I've been having severe anxiety on what I'm going to do when husband deploys if the only person I have to watch me and my children safety is the one who now triggers my voices. I'm on 200 mg of seroquel how is it that I would even have voices at all ? This is so frustrating I can't be happy about this pregnancy knowing I'm going to get all screwed up again and have to live where I'm triggered for a whole year. Psychosis is just so Scary to me it ruined everything for me because I lost trust in myself I doubted myself and feared myself. I don't know what to do

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Michelle0

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time with severe anxiety. I heard a voice during my PP which was very commanding and frightening. If you need to change your doctor but they are few and far between, can you confide in a Nurse how much you struggle when you go for antenatal checks? Or can you be referred for talking therapy to vocalise your frustrations?

It must be so hard for you as anxiety is so draining. Can you make a support plan with your husband for when he's deployed? There are mums here who did not have PP in subsequent pregnancies so try to stay positive and build support around you, even phone support from your friend from high school. You might find support in the US from Postpartum International, postpartum.net and postpartum.net/get-help/loc... for local support.

Take care and stay safe.

[MichelleO]

I have a counseling appointment today and going to see about making an appointment with my Ob I'm just frustrated because I'm trying to stay positive that I'll be fine after this baby and then an anxiety attack triggers my psychosis and I just feel dumb for thinking it won't happen again I'm not even over it.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Michelle0

I hope your counselling session today will be helpful and you managed to arrange an appointment with your Ob. With any luck it won't happen again if you are monitored and have a good care plan. It's so hard dealing with the remnants of PP and it does take its toll but if you can surround yourself with support you might not feel so vulnerable.

Take care and try to rest when you can. We are all here for you.

[MichelleO in reply to Lilybeth]

I feel a little better getting some things off my chest I guess my question is will I know something is off before pp gets dangerous or will it just happen without me knowing ? I don't want to be a dangerous person. This breaks my heart to feel this way.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Michelle0

I'm glad you feel a little better. I think it's reassuring that some mums on the forum didn't have PP a second time. I had PP twice many years ago but treatment has changed so much for the better now. From my notes I've read that my husband noticed similar traits in my behaviour to my first PP so psychiatric services were alerted and treatment began.

I have been looking on the site and came across a post from a few years ago which might be helpful "I am pregnant, I had postpartum psychosis after the birth of my first child. I am worried about getting sick again. Any advices" the link is healthunlocked.com/app-netw.... There are some good links and advice. There is also a post in there from Jennifer Moyer, a former co-ordinator from Postpartum International in the US which I mentioned earlier.

Although I had PP a second time I did fully recover. As you know, PP is a traumatic illness but very treatable.

Try to rest as much as you can and take care.

[MichelleO in reply to Lilybeth]

I just think that sense I still have it I'm just going to have a worse case of it then before. The past 3 days I'd say my anxiety is more like a mania in the sense that I can't control it I'm having a hard time breathing and focusing and sitting still I just want to rush forward in time. I feel like my OCD and bad thoughts are coming back stronger just not a good time right now. I'll look into that post thank you.

[Hannah_at_APP Administrator]

Hi MichelleO

I'm sorry things are hard at the moment. I know from my own experience that pregnancy can be an anxious time after we've had pp. I was ill in 2009 after my first child was born but I had a second child in 2013 and stayed well.

The over-riding thought we had throughout pregnancy, if things got scary, I had a bad nights sleep or was feeling worried about whatever was happening, was that I always imagined that any subsequent pp would be caught and treated earlier - but was lucky that this wasn't something we had to deal with in the end.

As Lilybeth says, it's an understandable fear to worry about becoming ill and whilst pp is an awful illness, it is very treatable. I too hope you have been able to rest and are accessing some good support locally.

I'm afraid being in the UK I don't have experience of the US health system. Another website (although UK based) which might help with some of your thoughts and give you further info is maternalocd.org/

Please never hesitate to write here, we're all thinking of you and wishing you well. Take care, xx

[Hidden]

Thinking of you, too, MichelleO. Keep on writing. This forum does help to off-load some of your greatest worries.

I only had one pregnancy and PPP in 2010, but hope that other women on this forum will be able to give you some reassurance of a positive experience second time round as Hanna described above.

I do struggle with anxiety and try to focus on things in order to distract and improve my thought pattern or stop mind racing i.e. meditation, yoga, gardening, painting, keeping my son busy when he is not at school-fun and play time etc. At the beginning of my recovery I have had a lot of therapeutic help i.e. support groups and one to one with my support worker and care coordinator.

Wishing you well,

Sabine