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Hello all

I have been a sufferer of PP.

I'd like to chat to others who've had this experience. Due to my mental health, my ex husband took my daughter to another county. I took action with my solicitor and eventually got a shared residence court order. However due to location I see my daughter weekends and half holidays. On the odd occasion my ex husband doesn't always give me full access which affects my mental health. I've currently got my house up for sale to have the full shared access.

Do any other mums have a similar situation?

5 Replies

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  • Hello Crimsonlady

    Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your experience. Here you will 'meet' other mums who have been through the mill of PP which out of the blue affected our mental health. I had PP twice many years ago and have found mums here very supportive.

    I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties with access to your daughter. Do you have family supporting you or follow-up from the mental health team as I imagine this must be very stressful for you? Even selling your home must be an added pressure so take very good care of yourself.

  • Hi crimsonlady

    Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you have been through an horrific time, as well as battling with the pp but also having to gain access to your daughter. I had pp in 2011 after the birth of my son, and that was hard enough and I didn't have any issues with access.

    I really hoped that someone in a similar situation would have replied to you. However I did want to give you a link to a previous post from a few years ago from someone with a similar experience to yourself:

    healthunlocked.com/app-netw...

    I do hope this is helpful. Take care and I really hope you're able to gain full access to your daughter soon

    Ellie

  • Dear Crimsonlady,

    Pleased to meet you on this forum. I am a mum, who has suffered PP in 2010.

    I am sorry that you have such difficulties at the moment with 'life arrangements'.

    My story is of a different kind, but I do empathise with your struggles. Selling and moving is one of many big stress factors. Therefore I do agree with Lilybeth and Ellie that you have take good care of yourself. I completely understand that your situation affects your mental well being. Here are some suggestions what I do, if poorly, because of triggers induced by stress.

    - making sure that I am not dealing with my worries on my own and talk to my support network whether it is friends, my partner or professionals and or sharing it with members on this forum

    - trying to focus on things and/or people to help me unwind and cheer me up such as gardening, going for walks, playing top word with a friend, planning and organising stuff for my family, art work etc...

    - reducing fear and anxiety, restlessness, sleep deprevation: developing coping mechanisms in my case yoga and meditation (various types, which can be learnt and practiced)

    Look after yourself and keep in touch. This is a good forum and has helped me on many occasions.

    Sabine :-)

  • I can really relate in so many ways to your post. I suffered from PPP after giving birth to my third daughter which was completely unexpected as previous two deliveries had been fine. However third time round I was under a huge amount more stress and also sleep deprivation. I spent a year in recovery and trying to hold our marriage together.

    Unfortunately I suffered a relapse a year after my initial diagnosis. When we eventually separated, my husband applied to the courts for full custody, on the grounds that I had suffered from mental health problems and had been sectioned. His negativity and criticisms have left their scars but on a positive note I think I am much better now and that I have a brighter future to look forward to. I know that I must remain vigilant particularly over stress and sleep.

    However, it tears me apart not to see my girls every day. It's so difficult adjusting to shared custody arrangements. I think the only way I've got through it has been spending time doing the things I really love. It's so hard to do but it helps to rediscover whatever you were passionate about before children. You also have to remember to try and focus on your recovery and improving your mental health during this time. Art therapy really worked for me with achieving this and I spend a lot of my time painting when not working.

    I have anxiety that my ex will in the future try again to get full custody. Hopefully instead things will just continue as they are. I have to keep reminding myself that the children seem to be managing fine and they see plenty of both of us.

    Ironically enough I was in the opposite position in that following the separation I wanted to move to be nearer my family because I felt I needed their support but I dropped that request and decided to stay where we were.

    I'm worried that in your situation not only do you have to move and the stress that entails but also a new area without old friendships and support networks.

    Happy to talk and share further especially to find out how it all goes. Stay strong for your daughter's sake. I'm sure your an amazing mum. Perhaps over time you and your ex can change to a more equal custody arrangement where you can see more of her. Really hope this happens after your move.

  • Hey I've had pp for 6 years now my ex is horrible and abuses me infront of my children. We have been on and off since my 1st baby was born. He gas a resident order and always stops me from seeing my children witch makes my mental health worse. Best thing you can do is go to court that's wot I've just done and now there is a court order and I can see them as and when I want when I'm well. Hope this is helpful for you xxxx

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