It's almost that time again when it's my sons birthday, I want to be happy with I am for the most part but there is a sadness still there when I remember his birth and the events that followed. Shouldn't i have moved on by now?
Anyone else feel this way?
Hello betty2014
Welcome back to the forum. This is a question many new mums here have asked themselves. I think there will always be a sadness for the early days and months I missed with my two sons (I missed my first son's Christmas!) which I have pictures of ......but I'm not there! I missed my second son's early days too.
I think we have to balance it with how far we have come and how our children have thrived, without being affected by our 'absence'. In time your sadness will be diminished by the immense pride you will feel for your son as you watch him achieve his milestones. My sons are now grown men and we have shared so many happy times together which far outweigh the memory of my days without them.
Time will heal the sadness ...... be good to yourself.
Hi betty2014,
My son is three and I definitely found this year much easier than the previous two. I do believe it gets easier with time and as lilybeth says the sad memories will be outweighed by more and more happy ones.
I did an awful lot of reflecting around my son's second birthday, I put my story on here around then and found that quite cathartic. I felt very much recovered and ok about things but it seemed to be on my mind pretty much constantly in the lead up to his birthday and the weeks that followed. Not so much this year.
You're not alone, take care x
Hi betty2014,
I too can really relate to this, and it can be a tricky time, balancing the emotions and expectations of birthdays with reflecting on the terrible things that also happened. I had PP in 2009 and whilst my son's 1st birthday was a milestone, naturally, I think his 2nd birthday was the one I can now see I could start to enjoy more. And then his 3rd was much more joyful, and each one since - as much of a cliche as that might sound.
Finding the balance can be difficult, but don't beat yourself up thinking that you should be "over it", PP is a massive and awful thing, and it will take some time for the bad memories to fade. I know that it's the easiest thing to say, but it really does get better with time. And adding happier memories won't replace what happened, and of course we never really forget, but we do move forward and enjoy life again.
I too have a birthday coming up - for my 2nd child, who will be 2 this month also. I didn't get ill after I had him, and know that my experiences of his birthday (the 1 so far) were so different to my other son, but I can't change that and try not to dwell too much on it. It can be hard knowing what is best, but do whatever feels right to you to mark birthdays, including perhaps some time just with friends so that you can unwind and enjoy the milestone just for you too.
Take care, xx
How long ago was it that you had PPS it's totally normal for you to feel like that it was a year ago today that I was placed into a mental health unit away from my baby for 14 days and it gets me down the memories of what happend to me so it's totally normal it will take time xx
Hi, it was 2 years ago today that I started to go a little crazy. Luckily I was with my son for the 2 weeks in a mother and baby unit. I don't think I would have coped without him
Hi betty2014,
I hope things are starting to feel a little easier for you, have you had your son's birthday? I hope you enjoyed the day and took some time out to reflect and relax too - kids birthdays can be hectic!
Take care, xx
Hi yes things are easier as we have passes the 2 years mark last week and I definitely enjoyed his birthday this year more than last year.
Thank u for asking X
Yes I do. My little girl has only had 2 birthdays so far, but it is bound to bring up all those memories and emotions, and that's ok, don't feel guilty, it's a part of us. But also think (I got through this and am stronger for it) X it does get easier but there will always be things that trigger memories of those times x
Here I go, back down yet again
Feeling low and hopeless again 11 months on
Will I ever love my children again?
