I had my 2nd child on the 17th of Oct, elective section and felt great for a few days after the birth. When I was home for a few days my mood lowered and having suffered pnd with my first son, I knew where I was heading. I spoke with my midwife and was taken to the GP and given seteraline, which I've been on since.
The following night I had the worst experience of my life, I was panic stricken and felt like I was going to die, all I wanted to do was escape. After this experience I ended up visiting an out of hours psychiatric ward to be assessed and was sent home with diazipam and zopiclone to help me sleep. Thankfully my partner was there to help with my 2 children as I was entering the realms of despair.
I ended up back at the out of hours again on 2 more occasions and all they kept saying was it takes time.
The following week I began to experience dark thoughts and fear I would hurt myself and the overwhelming urge to get away to get professional help.my health visitor spoke with my GP and they felt this would be detrimental to my health.
I feel torn in two; right now I don't know what to do, I keep coming back to the same thoughts every day, that everyone would be better off without me.
I have a cpn visit today so I'm praying that they can help, I really am desperate.