Dealing with the death of a loved one?

[ohlookitschodie]

[Pickle165]

thats a hard question to answer, we lost my dad eight years ago and we are all still grieving in our own way. its one of the hardest things ever to accept, who have you lost?

[sheffieldwed]

Hi sam i lost my dad too 9 years ago on the 6th of jan the day before my birthday and this year it has been the hardest so far i think when he died i pushed it aside and it was as if it didnt hit me and wouldnt accept he was no longer here and tended to focus on my poor mum and my 3 young children who my dad adored then this year i suffered a virus and ended up in and out of hospital which then led to my panic attacks and anxiety i felt so awful and the realisation of my dad who was never coming back again i couldnt stop the feelings of missing him and night was worse i would have dreams of him and my panic attacks where worse during the night i couldnt breath would sweat shake etc i do know exactly how you feel and although i have been having some good days with taking my meds my father was so special to me and dont ever think i will get over him not being here anymore i just have to accept that he isnt coming back and focus on my 3 children and help look after my poor dear old mum this is what he would have wanted me to do try and find something to focus on and just remember your dad would want you to be happy xxxx

[Hidden]

Hi and warm thoughts to everyone who misses a loved one, we have not lost them as they will be with us until we meet up with them again in another life and no I don't mean sitting on a fluffy cloud playing a harp lol.

My daughters dad threw off his mortal coil 2 weeks ago, he was 52 and it was a terrible shock for us all. Words can't describe how proud I am of my daughter in how she is coping with it. Yes. She has bad days but like me she believes that death is not the end, just a new beginning. She believes he comes to see her, which is lovely.

We humans are amazing creatures and we find inner strength when we need it most. I wish you all the best and keep remembering the good times, this is when they will wrap their arms around you and let you know they are ok. Xxx

[jpars]

Hi, I lost my dad just before last Xmas and recently found this poem to be quite comforting (sorry if you know it already) :

Death is nothing at at all

Death is nothing at all.

I have only slipped away to the next room.

I am I and you are you.

Whatever we were to each other,

That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.

Speak to me in the easy way

Which you always used.

Put no difference into your tone.

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word

That it always was.

Let it be spoken without effect.

Without a trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.

It is the same that it ever was.

There is absolute unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind

because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.

For an interval.

Somewhere. Very near.

Just around the corner.

All is well.

Henry Scott Holland

[Hidden in reply to jpars]

I haven't read that for such a long time, thank you so much xxx

[Hidden]

It is hard to come to terms with the death of a loved one and really time alone helps, but you can also get counselling from Cruse...other counselling organisations prefer to wait,three months after the bereavement because grieving is a natural process, it cannot be hurried.,what you are feeling is normal...death affects us all..remembering the good times and sometimes just,writing down how you feel is helpful, but otherwise it is just,a,painful but completely normal process.

Rest, care for yourself and talk about how,you feel with people you trust to understand...the sharpness of grief will soften in time...be patient with yourself, I am sorry for your loss, always a very painful experience but it just has to be experienced.

Warm wishes

Babushka

[ohlookitschodie]

Thank you all for your supportive answers, I've lost my great uncle, my dog and my great nan all since November and its been so hard, they may not have been the closest relatives but I still miss them every day with all my heart and even thinking about them makes me have an anxiety attack, but I know how you all feel and if you need someone to be there fit you, I'm here, thank you all xx

[Hidden]

Its hard to bear I know but take heart in the fact that we are never really far away. Every nightwhen I go to bed I ask the Lord to hold me and my loved ones very close, even those I have lost. Its a comfort and remember memories are forever. Love from Helen

[DavCu]

I know how you feel with this, it can be difficult and can be felt as a physical experience. It took me about a year to feelings to change.

[seyi]

I feel your pain and loss and hope you find peace doing a good deed by looking after your Mum. Sure your Dad will be your guide. I recently lost my cousin age 49 unexpected and keep saying to myself

Not farewell

Just a broken link in a chain

Till such time

We meet again.

God Bless

Love Seyi xxx

[Hidden in reply to seyi]

I lost my husband 8yrs ago,and my son 3yrs ago,I can't tell u the awfull pain I feel ,it's took time and my friends at my church r very supportive, I hav bad days when all I want is to hold my dear ones in my arms ,I know I can't,so I hold them in my heart

[LaurieL13]

My man has cancer. He had a CT scan that showed nothing. We thought we beat it. The week before Thanksgiving, the pain in his stomach was so bad, he called an ambulance ( I don't drive) they found a mass on his liver that was pressing against the intestinal wall. Another CT scan found cancer through his stomach and the liver. The doctor said a year, maybe two. He is on immune therapy now to prolong his life. We had so many plans. They are gone. How does anyone deal with this? Thanks in advance.