Birthday blues

Hi everyone

Not been in for a while as not been in a gud place. My sleep has disowned me so av been very low and emotional.

Unfortunately many of my friends now keep their distance as I'm not the fun Jayne they used to know. It's my birthday next Thurs and not one of my friends av rallied round to do anything!!!! This hurts me loads as I always make a big fuss when it's one of theirs.

I'm Stil me, Stil want to enjoy my friends company. I know people av busy lives but a phone call isn't much to ask!

Do any of u av this problem with friends? It's like their scared to talk to me . ; (

11 Replies

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  • Yes I do Jayne, I know I'm older than you but I have seen a lot of friends off over the years. They can cope with me for a while not going out much and being down sometimes but I'm not the bundle of laughs I used to be. I can see their point, so I let them go. I have a couple of friends that I have known since before I was first struck down by this anxiety and although I don't see them a lot...it's like we were never apart when I do. I just do Family at Birthday time as I can't really plan anything either.....not nice is it hun x Ella x

  • Thanx huni your support means a lot. Always find my birthdays hard work even before I was I'll. I am going to spend it with family especially my lovely hubby and gorgeous son. Thanx for ure reply means so much. Xx

  • Hi.jayne. Nice to talk to you again. This is a perennial problem and one that comes up time and again. We expect friends, relatives to behave to us as we were when not ill. An impossibilty. We are 'different' (better in my opinion) so their reaction to us is different. They do not know how to handle people with anxiety so try and keep clear. (Except people like our dear lou!!). Try not to expect too much from them no matter how much it hurts. When I was ill I lost a lot of friends that, looking back, weren't worth much anyway. But I found some lovely understanding ones whose memories I cherish. With this illness you certainly find out who your real friends are! How can you be the 'fun' jayne you were? What you are going through now is not 'fun' is it? Forgive them, jayne, they act out of fear. I am sure some regard this illness as contagious!!! Anyway, you have found a lot of friends here and although we cannot be with you in body we are in our thoughts. If we could hold your hand and comfort you we would, but just imagine we are. Love. jonathan.

  • Thanx for putting a smile back on my face. I struggle like many with the way people treat me now. Like you said they do think its contagious or that I wil bring them down with me. I too have learnt who my true friends are but sad to know its one or two ; ( Thank you for your kind support. X

  • There is an old saying, jayne. "One volunteer is worth twenty press men". It goes back to the old 'press gang' days. But to update it I would suggest,"One good understanding friend is worth twenty who just feel it is their duty". You will come to realise this is true as I did. j.

  • jayne

    It is true many people cant always deal with this

    I have one true good friend that some how puts up with me & as I always say would rather have just "one good friend that cares & accepts me for me , than loads that will walk away when the going gets tough "

    I no it hurts but I promise it gets better & there will be that good friend out there for you , you may have not met them yet

    Have you tried talking to your friends & explaing how you feel , they may not even realise ?

    You have every one on this site though , we are friends & understand

    Get on here on your bday if all else fails or join Rose's chat room there is a blog on here by Rose how to join

    You are never alone on this site

    whywhy xxx

  • Lovely advice and support thank you. I have told my friends and they all say they are there for me but then don't get in touch again ; ( I used to have lots of friends and be life and soul of any gathering... Just upsetting now looking what I've become ; ( I have got such lovely support on here so glad I gave come across this site. Xx

  • Jayne try not to think what you used to have , can be really upsetting

    They dont sound real freinds then , let them go , new one's will come along

    Remember we are here for you

    whywhy xxx

  • If you have good family,son,and Husband then in that alone you are blessed

  • I have and I know I am very blessed. Wudnt b here without their support. Just wud love a girlie get together or lunch date. X

  • Jayne

    I have a husband & son & daughters & they are my best friends as well , they are always there for me when others let me down , & believe me it goes along way & I wouldnt swap them for all the friends in the world !

    I do understand about wanting girlie chat though , have you the confidence to join any groups , maybe something you are interested in , I met my best friend 20 years ago by joing a group , didnt even want to be her friend at 1st lol but 20 years on & she is like family

    Just a thought

    Try not to stress to much about it & I am sure it will happen eventually

    whywhy xxx

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