Anxiety Support
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Is this some kind of dp/dr? Can anyone relate

I'm wondering if what I am experiencing is some form of depersonalisation. It's hard to describe exactly how I feel. I don't feel dreamlike or unreal like I've heard dp described but I have this really weird feeling about myself like my inner person isn't who I thought I was or is alien to me in somehow. I get this weird feeling like I'm not me or that I'm somehow different and I get a massive knot of dread and fear in my stomach and surge of a weird feeling like I am recoiling from myself and a weird emotion I can't describe like it's unbearable to be in my own skin and live my life doing normal things I usually do everyday without thinking about. I get an overwhelming feeling I can't cope. Also when in this state I try to ground my sense of self by thinking about memories of my past but it's like I can't feel how I felt then, or it's like I felt this terrible dread feeling then even though I know intellectually and logically I didn't. I feel like something inside me has changed. I also get this weird guilty shameful feeling like I'm in some way bad. I feel scared of myself and my mind/emotions and have the compelling urge to keep checking inwards and self monitor. I get this weird feeling like everything I have done in my life was fake along with a feeling of inner panic. Can anyone relate? Also get a weird feeling when watching people on tv. A terrible bleak feeling comes over me and I almost feel like I have done whatever they are doing (I know I haven't ) but with this horrible dark ugly depressing feeling. Very bizarre. Can anyone remotely relate or have I completely lost my mind?

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From time to time I get feelings of déjà vu, not quite a panic episode, which most definitely is a combination of depersonalize/detached feeling from ones self, throw in some nausea, lightheadedness, heart palpitations. For me I guesss it leaves me with a feeling of dread, which is truly disgusting. These are moments which last anywhere from 1 to 5 minutes or so. This summer I had a episode while talking with my brother, I didn't understand what he was saying because I had moment of disturbance in which I didn't know who he was! Odd but true. It lasted 5 to 6 seconds before I could get a grip of reality. The tired overworked mind is responsible. Accept these feelings and sensations as temporary, in time with acceptance they become less important.

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I've never had the intentions of actually posting on any of these kinds of discussions but after almost a year of searching online (with little success) for anyone that I could relate to, I've found your post. I also read your one about the recalling of memories and cannot emphasize enough that I can relate to everything you're feeling.

After meetings with several psychiatrists and neurologists, multiple CT and MRI scans, it's been narrowed down to anxiety. While do believe it plays a huge part in it, I don't believe it's everything - I have a multitude of different physical and mental symptoms and can remember the exact day something in my head went off and I was left like this.

The feelings are really indescribable, especially considering that they are unprovoked and feel like they come from some deep, altered, dark, and almost psychic level of consciousness.

Anyway, I'm still looking for an answer to as why this happened because I refuse to believe I developed some sort of anxiety disorder overnight. Feel free to message me and I'd be happy to explain some of the different things I do/think that have me coping.

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