Long story short, I started a new job today! I had been struggling to find work and this is in my field. I like it, the people are kind, and I am good at working in this field, but I have this awful feeling that I am not going to last at the job. The problem is my PTSD. I KNOW I will do ok (in the job) for a while, I always do good for a while, but I am afraid that it will wane and I will get really really deep into depression (again) and have to leave work. But, for now I am optimistic. It helps tremendously that the job is basically individual... like, everyone is working on their own thing and going and coming as they need to for their positions. So, I am kinda by myself doing my own thing. But, we will see. I am worried about it, to be honest. I love the job, love the idea of it too... but idk. Doesn't that sound really messed up? I should be happy that I have a job.
I am lucky that I have manageable debts, so I am thinking of saving up as much as I can in case I need to leave the job, but I hate going into this with that mentality.
Any advice?
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SurvivingEveryday
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congrats on the job first and foremost! It is always a huge relief when you get the positive news! There are two things I believe in quite strongly in regards to work. First, do save as much as you can. No one knows what the future has in store. Second, still keep your eye on the job market. When I did work, I always had my eyes open to jobs at other firms and would often even interview just to learn and practice. I feel blessed to have been taught by my parents to save and save early. I have become fully disabled and now the savings matters SO much. We still have ok insurance through my husbands job….but the out of pocket expenses are over the top. If you never end up dipping into savings, then you’re off to retirement much earlier! Take it one day at a time. I like how you can seemingly plan your day and do your work. Hoping it’s a job that once done you can leave and go home and relax. Kudos for getting the job and for the positive attitude.
There is nothing wrong with the way you are going into it. You are optimistic but you have some concerns. Try not to worry about the future and just take it one day at a time. You already know that you will do ok for a while. Just hold onto that. Congratulations enjoy this victory.
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