Heading to my in-laws, need strategies for staying calm! Long drive (12hrs) and cousins chaos once we arrive!

[ZOO7]

Heading to my in laws. It’s a 12 hour drive and I am anticipating choas once we get there with all the cousins etc etc. What works to help you remain calm when visiting family? I feel so out of control and stressed!

[Dkdfree]

Chamomile tea and some valerian ⭐

[samack]

Sucking on Valium 😆

[Hidden]

Try a double Malt Whiskey and a bottle of strong beer, it used to work for me although now we are generally on our own, My Wife, Pax our Collie and my good, fair to middling self.

All very peaceful we will be sitting in the living room and we will watch the birds feeding in the garden.

My family on occassions would end up fighting over nothing in particular I would need to use the car so could not enjoy the goodwill as the police would be waiting. Now we have a christmas the way it is ment to be considering the story of the Nativity and listening to music and watching television

We will go for walks with Pax in the countryside and enjoy the peace and quiet. If it is warm in the Conservatory we will spend most of the day there watching the birds and snow on the hills

Peace. Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year

BOB

[Agora1]

Music and Games...We would sit around the piano as we sang Christmas Carols...

As the day drew on, we would play Charades... it helps cut any

tension with the group as well as providing maybe a few good laughs. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Agora

Forgot the Malt Whiskey and a strong beer. Lol

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy and Joyful New Year

BOB

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Bob...The singing is now quiet, charades is a game of the past

but every Christmas Eve, I still sit down at the piano and play

a few songs and sing to myself.

During those moments I remember what use to be but never forget

what can be waiting for us.

May Peace fill your heart and Love fill the air this Christmas for you

and your family.

Always, Agora1 xx

[AuntBee]

My suggestion, focus on greeting one person at a time if you’re greeted by many as soon as you walk in the door. Move slowly to hang coat or place your coat wherever coats are gathered, just do it slowly. Next, Make your way to the mother-in-law as soon as possible to get that hello out of the way. Grab a drink and find the christmas tree to sit by. Now I would say take 2 deep breaths and let out slowly. Focus your attention to the lights on the tree. If it still feels too chaotic, head to the washroom for a break.

My nephew had alot of social anxiety that included alot of anxiety at family gatherings. There are 30 in the family when we all gather. I never noticed how he alternated between being close to his mom and talking to his cousins. Its funny how family doesn’t recognize anxiety and stress.

I wish you a peaceful visit.

[DodgeDhanda]

Hi ZOO7,

Have you looked into breathing techniques & learning to control ur breathing & how to listen to the silent breath. It will help you calm & centre urself.

There is also another technique you could try & that is let go & join them at their level , you never know you may enjoy it , it's not fun & it's not right to try & be an adult & boring all the time , Christmas it's OK to drink 3 litres of Soda & burb & scream that Santa's coming. It connecting you to ur younger self who may have acted as ur in laws do.

It's OK to have unbridled fun . Just don't lick any meds or drink alcohol . Have fun whilst sober .... why ..... that way if it gets too much go for a drive safely .

[AuntBee]

ZOO7, how is it going?? Just thinking about you.

[ZOO7 in reply to AuntBee]

Hi! Haven’t gotten there yet. We leave Monday. I’m still trying to prepare. Sometimes I think I got this and then the next minute I’m freaking out with the thought of traveling, the new CoVid variant, traffic, weather, etc etc! Sigh….