My mom is dying of cancer. I am her caregiver and I am dying on many other levels. I’m definitely in the worst kind of crisis. Existential. There’s so much to do and I’m not even including just regular everyday stuff. I don’t know how detailed I should get but many days I ask myself, what am I doing? Why am I taking care of someone who doesn’t give an f about you. For real. No exaggerations there’s no time. Long story short I heard what she says behind my back about me on a recording. I knew she gossips but holy crap. I was not prepared just as I’m not prepared for any of it. Does anyone have any advice? Do I need a lawyers and a new identity? Just kidding, not about the lawyer though. My family is crazy and mean and I don’t have bad luck I have no luck so I really cannot take any chances. I need to protect myself and I do want to protect my mom even if she’s a mean, lying, dementia having pain in my arse I feel like if I don’t look out for her no one will. I can only take so much though…
That’s my puppy below. He’s fine. It’s just a collage. Summer is over… I do art to distract and I make jokes to not be too serious because it’s actually really serious. I’m sorry if I offended anyone. Not my intention at all. Just ranting through written text.
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LulaLaRocca
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You say she has dementia, so whatever she’s doing or saying that hurts you, just realize that she may not know any better. She’s not entirely in control, and maybe acknowledging that can help you?
With having a crazy busy schedule, it may help to list out all the things you need to do and then categorize it by importance and then when it needs to be done. Remember that it’s okay to put some things off as long as you’re making healthy progress. Progress is success Getting help to take care of things can be helpful too, you don’t have to do everything on your own Remember to take breaks, even when you’re busy. Giving yourself a little time to rest can help you work more efficiently coming out of the break and accomplish more than if you hadn’t taken a break at all. Self care is key how does one take care of another if they’re not taking care of themself?
I believe in you and it’ll be okay. I’m glad your puppy is fine 😂
It is so hard to watch a parent die. I've been there personally and as a hospice nurse. I am sad that your mom was hard to like but you may find that out this helps you close the to chapter. If she's saying mean things now, she may not understand that she is doing that, it's probably the dementia. It is very important to take a break when you can. Maybe a sibling can help? I'm not sure I understand the family dynamics here. It may ease a lot of pain of you had hospice in to help. And find Therapist to talk to about all of the past wounds you have suffered. I wish you the best
So sorry to hear about your Mother’s illness and your suffering as a caregiver. Caregiving is a hard job and being a patient is quite hard also. You must take care of yourself in order to be there for your Mom and this sounds like you are doing a good job putting things in perspective. Sometimes when people are severely ill they are just not at their best and can be difficult to deal with. illness and even treatment can sometimes mess with the mind and incapacitate the social filter and confuse the mind. You sound like you need help from a counselor or support group in carrying out your position as caregiver in a manner that will benefit both of you. I am praying for you to find what you need. I am praying that you and your Mom will find the comfort you need. God bless you for your efforts. You are a superhero. Superheros need super support systems. Don’t neglect your own needs please find the help you need. I know there are support organizations. PS art is great therapy. Interesting collage.
Hi LulaLaRocca I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and I can understand the stress and pain you're going through looking after your sick mom.I know it's not easy but you are doing an awesome and loving thing looking after your Mom even though you are not receiving back any love or appreciation from her. The reality of life is that we can only control what we do and not what others do,
I pray you continue to find the strength to look after your Mom and move forward. May the near future bring you peace, love and joyful moments.
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Getting help to take care of things can be helpful too, you don’t have to do everything on your own 
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