Mornings

[MAtoNE]

Mornings are so hard. I wake up expecting to be anxious. I know I have the whole day to get through. I have tried meditation and journaling. I’m so fixated on getting up and taking my medication. I wake up so nauseous. It’s the anticipation. Sometimes I get up and take my meds and then go back to bed. I know I get better as the day goes on but the mornings are just so hard.

[Byoung]

MAtoNE, when I read your post, I had to double check it to make sure that I had not written it. What you described is EXACTLY what I am experiencing now and have been for the last couple of years. Most mornings, I wish I could stay within the confines of my home, but, so far, I've been able to make it to my job as a university professor. The meds my psychiatrist have me on have had, almost, no positive effect on my anxiety. The only way I am able to manage is with Klonopin and I'm frightened of the dependency issue with that drug.

I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way...I can empathize STRONGLY with how you feel.

[MAtoNE in reply to Byoung]

Thank you so much for responding. I always feel more at ease when I’m not alone. I’m a teacher so I know the summers are hard because there is nothing that requires me to get out of bed. During the year I know I get up and go to work, I don’t have a choice. I have been trying to stay busy but I just want mornings to be easier! I hate knowing I have the entire day ahead of me to face.

[MAtoNE in reply to Byoung]

My doctor started me on Prozac about a month ago and I’m hoping to feel the benefits soon. Recently just dealing with GI side effects.

[libragirl73 in reply to Byoung]

I have been on Klonopin for years and it works for me, and I am not dependent on it thankfully. I take when I need to and not more than the recommended dosage. I cannot analyze every medication I take or else I will take nothing and I really need to. Please don't worry...Kudos to you being a University Professor, that sounds to be like a dream job. At least to me it does. 😊

[samack]

oh yes. I had and still have mornings like this. Are you in any kind of therapy? Regardless it is all so painful. I know this will change for us but in the meantime we have to not beat ourselves up for not having control of this. I've been advised to set a schedule so that I don't have empty mornings. Honestly that in itself is hard when you feel you don't have any interests and motivation. It would be good if we could. The right meds will be a great help.

[MAtoNE in reply to samack]

Yes I am so hard on myself. I am in therapy which has been helpful. I feel that if I don’t leave the apartment then it’s not a successful day. What does your schedule look like? What helps you?

[samack]

I'm mostly still struggling with anhedonia, no motivation nor interests but that is due to other factors besides depression. However aside from breakfast and washing up I try to engage in art journaling or piano practicing. I do watch a TV show at 10 a.m.; normally don't otherwise put on TV. I am told to go for a walk, or yoga, which is a yet to achieve goal. Prozac is a great med (my experience) so have faith. You will see a difference.

[Pugglesworth]

I'm sorry you're in this boat. It is a big boat, but not one that's fun to be on. Mornings can be a struggle for me too. Our body releases a fair amount of cortisol in the morning to help wake us up. This doesn't hit those of us with anxiety the way it should. We get so used to the morning anxiety that we anticipate it. We know it's going to be there so, of course, it is. And we struggle with it so the reaction gets compounded.

It is a loop. The more we anticipate and struggle, the greater and longer the reaction becomes. Our bodies excrete more adrenalin as we tense up to brace ourselves against what we know will come. Our shoulders rise up over our neck, our gut tightens, our chest hardens and we're fighting our symptoms. Fighting ourselves. This is a battle that can't be won.

There is a limit to what the body can produce. Only so much adrenalin can be dispersed before we're tapped out. And we're exhausted. It's not the symptoms that have made us tired, but the fear of those symptoms. We're either fighting them or running away from them.

You may have seen this recommended before; however, I'll address it again. Claire Weekes book Hope and Help for Your Nerves describes in detail what you're going through. She talks about what causes it and how to get through it. I recommend you pick it up. I have read and re-read it so many times I've lost count. It has, by far, helped me the most out of any book I've read on the subject of anxiety. I am so thankful someone on this board recommended it to me. Her method is simple, but was not easy for me. I'm still working on it.

[FearIsALiar]

I know the feeling all too well. Something that has helped me is writing down 5 things I am grateful for each morning. That way I am reminded how blessed I am

[libragirl73]

I can totally relate to morning being hard as well. I wake up severely anxious at almost the same time every morning whether I am still tired or not. I have to get moving right away as I am already antsy. I take my medication which includes Klonopin which calms me, thankfully. I also am on a new anti-depressant medication Fluoxetine, on my 4th day. I have to keep busy or I dwell and sometimes it is hard to keep positive. I am trying my best. Sending you hugs and prayers today for some peace for you today!

[MAtoNE in reply to libragirl73]

I was just switched to a new medication which is fluoxetine as well! I am on week 4! I'm hoping it will get easier.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Try focusing on having a good morning. Say tomorrow morning i an going to wake up to sun shining and birds chirping and be happy. Sometimes we tell ourselves how to feel. Create a mantra that you repeat over and over about having a good morning. I have things I know will make me anxious and I get myself so worked up I know I make it a lot worse. Prepare things you’ll need the night before. Lay out your clothes, create easy breakfast items that won’t require a lot. Set things where you need them. Etc The smoother you can make waking up the better. I am not a morning person so I get it! I make sure my coffee is set, clothes planned and laid out, to do lists made etc. Anything to make things easier and smoother getting moving.

[endofheartache1290]

If it's just the anticipation of having anxiety that scares you you can work on that. If you are only anxious in the morning because you are anxious about being anxious then the focus should be on combating that fear. I know it's difficult as most of us who suffer from anxiety end up developing anxiety about getting anxiety. It's a vicious cycle because it's so uncomfortable and horrible that we actively try to avoid it. So a few things will help, I know you mentioned journaling, and I am not saying you have not done it, but have you tried writing specifically about your fear of the morning? Because once you understand that it's just the fear of being afraid you can start to remind yourself that you are safe. You are at your house, in your bed. There is no present and immediate danger. You are okay. You can start to combat the fear of what am I going to do if I have a panic attack by reminding yourself of these things. Having a specific morning routine can help as well. Predictability reduces anxiety and so if we know what is going to happen we tend to feel less anxious about it. So maybe try waking up and immediately going about some task, even if that is just to drink coffee in the kitchen while you are waiting for toast. That is okay. It doesn't have to be some huge thing just something that you can do every time you wake up to get a routine set. The main point is to remind yourself that you can wake up and not have anxiety because you are not actually even anxious when you wake up you are getting anxious thinking your anxiety will come. I know it's difficult so don't think I am saying this change can happen overnight. It will take some time. But you have to little by little challenge the thought of it's a bad thing. And here is a question you can ask yourself if it helps, what is so bad about having a bit of anxiety in the morning? What horrible thing will happen if you do get anxiety in the morning? You yourself said it goes away as the day goes on, so what would be so horrible if the same thing happened but with a panic attack over something else. In essence it's the same thing one is just a panic attack over something that isn't the anticipation of having a panic attack. I hope that makes sense. I am not diminishing your anxiety. I am just trying to point out that you do have anxiety all the time and nothing bad happens to you except for the panic attack itself. Again, I hope that made sense. I apologize if it sounded rude or inconsiderate.