Looking for advice

[Dragon3695]

I'm in need the learning to better control my emotions. They keep causing me to spiral back into deep depression so any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated. If I can't get control of them soon I'm gonna be having to find a new place to live.

[Hidden]

Can I ask why your depression is connected to where you live. Sorry to ask I am not trying to dig but I do not understand

[Dragon3695 in reply to Hidden]

I'm living with my best friend and I'm in love with her. She doesn't feel the same way so it saddens me and leaves me feeling overlooked or ignored any time she start flirting with the guy she is interested in because he lives elsewhere else and I'm right here

[Hidden in reply to Dragon3695]

I seriously do think you have to get out. If there is a way you can, please do. I might not be right but being in love with someone who is in love with someone else is the hardest thing anyone can bear. Often time the person thinks of you as just a friend only when they know how you feel about them. At other times they do it on purpose just to hurt you and feel good about themselves, later you will resent and hate her which might even affect the way you will treat her child just to hurt her. I know you are not a bad person but pain can cause a person to inflict pain on others as well. You really need to get out as soon as possible. You will be surprised that the moment you get out you will find someone else. Sharing space with the person you are in love with is not good, it makes you think more about them because they are always there, it surely will increase the level of your depression when the solution is available. I am here for a talk, you are going through a difficult time

[Dragon3695 in reply to Hidden]

She isn't in love with anyone. She basically just has a crush on him. I know she would never hurt me on purpose because when I talk to her about anything if she says anything to hurt me I can see the pain in her eyes because we basically feed off each other's pain. When she hurts me, I hurt which makes her hurt because she cares that much about me and vice versa. The only reason I will willingly leave is if I can't pull my emotions back enough to where every little thing doesn't trigger some bit of sadness or depression because she is my only real life support. I don't make friends outside of online because I can't talk to people. Hell I have never had a relationship that didn't start with me meeting the person online in some shape or form. My relationship with my roommate even started online. The only reason her and I ever met is she made me choose between leaving my ex that was toxic or losing her as a friend. Honestly I believe she does have feelings for me, and i ain't the only one, she is just scared of them because she has been through hell as have I and anything even remotely serious scares her.

[Hidden in reply to Dragon3695]

It is understandable then. When we have been hurt before, we are scared of going back to that situation in fear of hurting again. Have you sat down like having a serious conversation with her?

[Dragon3695 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah. Her and I talk all the time about how i feel and how she don't feel the same for me but never really go into her reasoning near as much as I would like. She really doesn't like to open up about how she is emotionally feeling so all I can really do is form educated guesses.

[Hidden in reply to Dragon3695]

I get you. I wish she would be forthcoming with you. I also know as a woman that once we are overly hurt, we don't want men to hurt us again. After all we are emotional beings. Not that you guys don't have emotions but we usually use them through out. What also scares me is, what if you are waiting for her in vain? Nobody can say she doesn't love you since she is not talking direct but waiting in vain when you can get someone who really does love you. We are here to support each other and also act as a third eye (perspective) which means we won't be biased. Take your time to think about yourself sometime

[Dragon3695 in reply to Hidden]

I realize her feelings never being known could leave me just floating in the breeze but in order for me.to find anyone else I have to get past the feelings I have for her because I seriously have eyes for no one else. As for women being emotional being you are right in most cases. The funny thing with her and I is she is more of a guy in almost all ways and I'm more of the chick. I'm very emotional almost always to a fault where as she isn't overly emotional at all. I think she has broke down twice in the the I've known her whereas it seems like I break down at the drop of a dime almost weekly

[Hidden in reply to Dragon3695]

It often happens as well for men to be more emotional than women. I have realized myself that even tho I am a woman there are guys who are emotional than me. If she is the support you need, that is important. You are right in saying that you have to get past her first in order to move forward which is an honest truth. If that does not happen, you might be in another instant relationship of a rebound which always backfires. Also remember that to get over her, u need to have something to be interested in, a replacement. It does not have to be another relationship but an interest in something as well. I am here, we will always talk and grown together though

[Sunnidayz1]

Hi. If you dont have a place to go and you need to stay where you are there is definitely a way to deal with this situation. Definitely. And you are on the right path because it's all about emotions. The good news is we all have control of our emotions & thoughts. So how can you get through this? PM me. I will let u know.