the price of undiagnosed anxiety disorder.

[ecnarolfm]

Until recently I assumed everybody had this black cloud hovering over them. My black cloud reminds me constantly that I am not good enough. I have run from both professional and personal opportunities my entire life without really knowing what I was doing and why. At 60 years old I have become ever more aware of my high degree of anxiety and can even joke about it. Recently a psychologist at a drop-in crisis center shared with me that my own awareness of this and how it has effected me, my day to day living and personal relationships and career is unusual. You would think that my ability to be so aware and objective about this would mitigate it. It does not at all. I grieve over what I have lost because of it.

[RiderontheStorm]

I so get what you are saying. Living authentically in the present and reading is my answer to relief and self soothing. I seemed to have gone from age 37 to 60 overnight and cannot un ring that bell.

[ecnarolfm in reply to RiderontheStorm]

Yes, reading takes me away and allows relief and so does physical movement. I started to cycle distance almost 40 years ago as another bit of relief and before we had learned of the benefits of endorphins. I most enjoy reading about people who push their limits - physically, mentally and emotionally.