Pressure ...

Idk I feel so much pressure infront of this girl.. and idk how to overcome it

[Lyn842]

Can you tell us a little more about the situation so we can try to help?

[Hidden in reply to Lyn842]

Yea.. I used to have this best friend, and I hope she still is and indeed she's nice to me, but this other girl started to u know get closer to my best friend and tries to exclude me and it's a long story there's this rumors about me everywhere at school and it's a long story... and I don know what to do.....

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi Ninadesu,

I have been in a situation where someone wanted to exclude others. It's very uncomfortable and awkward. I try hard to practice inclusion, but everyone isn't like that.

Just remember that the only person you can control is yourself. It sounds like your best friend can't do the right thing and she doesn't have the courage to acknowledge you as her friend right now. We discover our true friends when we encounter tough situations.

This could be a form of bullying. Do you have a support system outside of school?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Im not sure what is a bully, the thing is it's not obvious and she is very very nice to people she likes or it almost feels like I'm the only one not treated as same as what others get, I mean maybe that's normal. Maybe it's she simply doesn't want to be my friend

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Here's what I think is going on based on the info you provided:

"Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes:

Leaving someone out on purpose

Telling other children not to be friends with someone

Spreading rumors about someone

Embarrassing someone in public

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time."

stopbullying.gov/what-is-bu...

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Adults do this too. People do this. It's nothing new. We hear a lot about bullying these days.

[Angelfox2002 in reply to Hidden]

I think she feels threatened by you because of your friendship with your best friend. She wants to be in the “spotlight”! Let her have the spotlight but speak up for yourself, tell your best friend how you feel without making her feel at fault, the other girl is manipulating her friendship by underhandedly trying to push you away! The new girl might not even know she’s doing this as she likely has her own issues, but your friend should notice and pay attention, if she’s truly your best friend. Always be nice but assertive especially when your best friend is nearby and this girl starts to make you feel awkward or excluded.... Say something (in your words) Hey “Girl” Do you feel some type of way about me, you act different when I’m around, she’s “my best friend” but I’m cool with you being our friend too. Tell her that you sense her snide ignorance and have been friends with your best friend for long enough to be able to say something about it to her if you can’t resolve it with the phony 1st, she is likely very insecure and feels the same way about you! We all just want to be liked, explain to her that leaving you out is not an option, spreading rumors isn’t either. You have established your reputation and she’s not going to blemish it with hate! You should have enough trust in your friend to let her know what you’re feeling 1st and foremost! Just don’t be catty or gossip, be real. The other girl sounds very phony.

[Hidden in reply to Lyn842]

She sometimes ignores me and gives me this look, and I feel the eyes everytime when she's around me ... whatever I do I feel like she's laughing at me inside

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I know this will be hard to do but try to ignore her. Take away her power.

Does she go out of her way to be around you? Maybe you have classes together?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for the description of what bullying is , yea I think I'm facing social bully I guess by not just her but from the past. Hm yes she's always around me, my house is the only place I can entirely eliminate her but my brain ..

[Angelfox2002 in reply to Hidden]

Laugh back at her! You and your best friends all know you’re not a joke, she will prove to be phony once you confront her! With all the recording devices we have these days, think girl think... plan your time with her.