TTFN

[CapitalT]

I'm off to meet my forebears, had enough.

[Hidden]

No don't do it please, you are stronger than you think.

[CapitalT in reply to Hidden]

@SouthTexas,

Thanks for your response, I'm not sure I am, been battling this for about 6 months now there's even more pressure, I was drowning then, but now .....

MHT are equally concerned, seeing them in the morning.

Long story, won't share on a public thread.

Thanks again.

[CapitalT]

Thanks @SweetNSour, appreciated :-).

Safe journey home.

Thought I'd change my 'handle' to perhaps be more reflective of 'me', whoever that is

[CapitalT]

I was SweetNSour. I'm trying to hang in here and work forward, thank you again. x

[CapitalT]

It sure can be, especially if your concentration slips, hey ho. Onward Hon, Thanks again.

[CapitalT]

Doing my best hon, need to step up a little more, next steps await. Hugglies

[CapitalT]

Seems like that's a common theme.

Just have to select which step first, rather than trying to take to many steps on to many things, seems my 'multitasking' hasn't been as good as I thought.

Hard lesson learned, hey ho.

Thanks for the hugs, always welcomed xox

[CapitalT]

So it would seem.

I may be overthinking things that perhaps I don't need too, I guess I either need to decide on priorities, or at least something rather than trying to work out an ordered plan.

Step, stop, wait, review, etc.

[CapitalT]

Think I can write down to much, then it overwhelms me, so I need t be more selective.

Learning every day, often feels like from scratch as instinct seems a little lacking right now, and overthinking causes brain fog, which I need to avoid at all costs otherwise I can't function at all.

That said, instinct got me where I am, so more thought required.

Hey ho.

Sorting out finances seems to be my first priority and get used to living on a tight budget.

Working on the basis of about £10 a day for food and some other 'household costs'.

First cut of a spreadsheet is looking OK, doing stuff on paper is a nightmare for me, though I can tend to make spreadsheets over complicated and cluttered.

Best start from just a month or so back to get a clear picture.

[CapitalT]

Got my utilities etc covered off and a margin for the winter months, it's keeping my daily costs down, seem to be doing OK, so may have more slack than I first thought, just needs a little more work and some evidence, looking back it's not that easy when there's some one off expenses, especially when they need to be considered for possible future expenditure.

I'm sure I'll get some confidence back soon and move forward.

[CapitalT]

It's taken several months to get this far, not as bad as I have been, fingers crossed for more progress tomorrow etc.

[Antich]

Hi CapitalT. Just wanted to say hi. I think you are important to at least three people in this thread alone, myself included. You didn't share much about your support at home and in your community but I bet there's at least three there that value you. I had a counselor tell me once that 'feelings are not facts'. So that was supposed to help me when I felt super sad and/or alone and/or anxious/paranoid. Because despite my feeling a certain way, things are not always as they feel. Don't know if that is helpful at all but I have come to realize that my feelings change. So sometimes I have to ride them out. So hang in there, you are worth it

[CapitalT in reply to Antich]

Thanks @ Antich, I hear what you're saying, facts and feelings can be different and it's separating the two, or more, that can be tough, feel like I'm getting there, though have to accept it is likely to me a long and painful journey.

Hope you're doing good

[Taz2]

Wot does ttfn mean

[CapitalT]

Ta Ta for now, on other words, bye bye !1

[CapitalT]

Struggling hon, not been out of bed for long. You ?

Meant to put 'it means'

[CapitalT]

Thanks hon. Have a good day