Assistance would be appreciated.

[babygroot]

I am struggling with anxiety and depression. The anxiety has increased over the last two months and the depression came back about four months ago. I'm doing everything I can to improve myself. I have acquired two jobs, I visit my mom every day at work, and I go to the gym everyday. I just have no support through my struggle. I can't talk to my best friend about this because she is just getting her life back together and I don't want to trigger her. My boyfriend has experienced and exceptional life and doesn't understand PTSD, social disorders, or depression. Also, he doesn't like to talk unless it's over text and even then I'm lucky to get a response. My mother has enough stress already and her only solution would be medication but I've had several bad experiences with meds. I don't know what to do. There are moments where is cannot contain my faults. I feel like I'm not living properly and taking up valuable space in the world.

[BonnieSue]

Somehow you've lived up to this point in life believing that you have no value if you're suffering from anxiety and depression? That to have value you must be contributing back to humanity in some undefined way? I'd like you to define this for me, please.

I believe you have value even though at this time you aren't contributing back to humanity as a whole. I believe that you still have value just as you are. You are an opportunity for others to give, expecting nothing in return.

A big red flag is waving because of your boyfriend's response to you. He doesn't understand any of your problems and doesn't like to talk. And when you need him, where is he? No where. Why is that? Why isn't he available and helping you? Simply because he doesn't like to? This doesn't bode well for the rest of your relationship with him. I hope you aren't planning on being with him for long because he's not much good for you. He's a fair weather friend.

1st of all, let your friend determine if you are triggering her or not. Don't assume you know that you're a problem for her without asking. Go ahead and contact her and let her be the judge. She might be just fine.

2nd, please be open to the idea of medicine because you just may find you need it and you may find the medicine that works for you. Notice that the symptoms have returned which seems to indicate the need for meds. I think you need to see a psychiatrist and let he/she determine what med to try out. Don't expect support from your BF because he's not a supportive person. You seem to be alone in this relationship. You may also need a counselor which is recommended for all depression and anxiety. Please look into both these professionals as you seem to need both.