Hi everyone!

Hello everyone! My name is Crystal, I'm 33 yrs old. And honestly have no idea where to start. I have no idea what it is exactly I suffer from other than social anxiety. So I apologize in advance if it's jumbled up 😩.

1) think I'll start out with what it is I've been dealing with since grade school. other than extreme shyness, I deal with destructive behavior. If I feel angry or upset I freak. The feelings that goes through my Body are just so frightening. I Just go around crying and breaking things. I know what I'm doing, my brain is telling me to stop but my body is doing its own thing. I sometimes will "blank out" and not remember for a split moment what I was doing. I hate it . there were a few times I'd hurt someone else or attempt too( and it scares me, because it's not ME) Everyone makes jokes about it but I feel so dumb to tell them to stop. So I usually joke with and beat myself on the inside. im too embarrassed to talk face to face with someone about it as I feel so foolish.

2) the other thing that bugs me that started a few years ago is the fair if death. I had lost my sister in law suddenly (she was 29). We were liv

[gogogirl]

Please see a physician preferably a specialist and find out what is causing these black outs.

[Kobojunkie]

I concur! Please go see a doctor/ psychiatrist and get started on a treatment program as soon as possible. Ever heard the rap song " my mind is playing tricks on me"? Well, yes, the mind does play tricks on us and right now what you need is to take back control of your mind and working with a psychiatrist will help you accomplish that. You are lucky to live in a time when medical science has made significant advancements in understanding the human brain and how it works. So you need to keep up and take advantage of new treatments that can get you completely free from all that happening without your permission in your head and mind.