Hello everyone! My name is Crystal, I'm 33 yrs old. And honestly have no idea where to start. I have no idea what it is exactly I suffer from other than social anxiety. So I apologize in advance if it's jumbled up 😩.
1) think I'll start out with what it is I've been dealing with since grade school. other than extreme shyness, I deal with destructive behavior. If I feel angry or upset I freak. The feelings that goes through my Body are just so frightening. I Just go around crying and breaking things. I know what I'm doing, my brain is telling me to stop but my body is doing its own thing. I sometimes will "blank out" and not remember for a split moment what I was doing. I hate it . there were a few times I'd hurt someone else or attempt too( and it scares me, because it's not ME) Everyone makes jokes about it but I feel so dumb to tell them to stop. So I usually joke with and beat myself on the inside. im too embarrassed to talk face to face with someone about it as I feel so foolish.
2) the other thing that bugs me that started a few years ago is the fair if death. I had lost my sister in law suddenly (she was 29). We were liv